Day 40: Finish line

Well, it’s over. Our church’s 40-day fast has officially ended and life can return to normal. But hopefully not.
 
I’ve used the metaphor of a race to describe the process of our fast, but in this instance the finish line isn’t so much a finish line as in “it’s all over” as a finish line as in “we’ve reached a new level of polish.”
 
Living with God is about polishing – not so our outsides will look all clean and shiny, slick, gleaming, spotless, and glowing, but so that our insides are always growing to a higher level of completeness. The Lord wants to constantly refinish our interior life, sanding down the rough spots, patching up the crumbling parts, replacing the broken mechanisms, oiling the squeaks, caulking the holes, clearing away the debris, and wiping us clean with His embrace.
 
Coming to the finish line, therefore, is as much about beginnings as endings. I’ve gone through the process and emerged a renewed and renovated me. Where do I go from here? How, then, do I live?
 
In the first few days after ending a fast, it’s hard to go back. My husband Dan who has a sweet tooth fasted from desserts for the 40 days, and when he had the opportunity to break the fast even he said that it felt strange. I think that’s a good thing.
 
There is something about remembering the times of testing that builds resiliency in us. A self-imposed fast is, of course, artificial in its hardship, and yet it still calls us to look for and rely upon the faithfulness of God.
 
That faithfulness can only be known by experience, and we relive and rely upon it through story telling, remembering the when of how God did the what without explaining the why.
 
Our friend Christy recently had an image or vision for Dan and I while she was praying for us. She said it was of Dan “going into a jungle with a big knife (or sickle?) chopping your way through the bush and jungle. Pam has binoculars and is walking behind you looking the other way behind you.”
 
I interpret that as God’s message to us that going forward in the path that God has for us in its immediacy will be tough and require a lot of pushing forward with strength and perseverance, but if we need look back, using binoculars to look way back into the past through where He has taken us, we will see His great faithfulness and how far we have come with Him.
 
Remember God’s faithfulness.
That’s a lesson for Dan and I, but it’s also a lesson for every person. When we stand with God in the present, we can look back into our past and see what God has done to get us to here, to this particular finish line. We need to be reminded, we need to tell each other the stories of God in our lives and of His unfailing love.
 
That’s the lesson of Hebrews 11, one of my favorite passages in the New Testament. It starts out with,  “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” It then goes through a catalogue of faithful believing by the patriarchs, the men and women of the Old Testament who looked for and trusted in God’s promises, then pushed ahead without knowing exactly what the future looked like. Just like trying to hack one’s way through a dense jungle.
 
Hebrews speaks about the patriarchs looking forward—and then it tells us to look back, look back at them and their stories, their examples, to see God’s faithfulness over the millennia.
 
Where do we go from here?
We go forward. We keep taking that next step even in the entanglements, and maybe especially because of the entanglements, towards God’s freedom. And we go forward even better equipped and stronger and filled with more faith because of what lies behind us.
 
I am reminded of what Paul writes in his Letter to the Philippians. He writes to encourage them after they had heard of his imprisonment for openly sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ—something he cannot help but do. He writes in Philippians 3:12-14:
 
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Many of us know this passage well. But hear it again as told by Eugene Peterson in his modern translation, The Message

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

Not turning back. That is the attitude I want to continuously hold. I can’t quite see what lies ahead, but I’m not turning back. I’m finished with this stage of the race, but I’m not finished yet, and I’m not turning back. I’m well on my way, though sometimes the going is slow, but God’s winds are blowing me in His direction. The race is good. The goal is worthwhile. God is beckoning me onward. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

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Day 39: Rule #5

When my kids were young, I used to give them rules before leaving them home with babysitters. Simple rules. No more than five. Always written out and read to them (since at 3 and 5 them couldn’t). Rules like these:

1. You may watch one video
2. Put away your toys
3. Brush your teeth
4. Go to bed at 8 pm
5. Have FUN.
   

Always Rule #5. After the stern admonitions, the don’t forgets, the responsible stuff, there was always Rule #5. It was a wink, a Mommy loves you, and early instruction on understanding that good rules are for our good and aren’t always hard to keep.

That was the mom in me at work. Or more accurately God at work in the mom at me at work – aware that most of the time as a parent I was making it up as I went along.

Years later, though, Rule #5 still applies—to my grown children’s lives in school, with their friends, in their work. I’m also learning that God applies it to me—my work, my ministry, my life.

Have fun. Sounds shallow, superfluous, self-centered—downright sinful when there are so many things to be done, people to be helped, causes to advance, trees to be saved, lives to be rescued from poverty, prostitution, pornography, pollution. And yet, the question, “Are we having fun yet?” has become one of my criteria for measuring the value of my labor.

One of my criteria, not the criteria, “fun” is an everyday colloquialism for the theological principle of Joy. Joy characterizes the inner life of disciples of Jesus Christ. It is one of the fruit or by-products of walking with, working with, reveling in God’s Holy Spirit. Joy ranks in Paul’s list in Galatians 5:22-23 when he writes, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

There is no law (rule) against joy (fun), so why not make a law (rule) for it? Why not look for it, anticipate it, wait for it? And why not measure our lives with it—not for fun and games but for evidence of the life of Jesus operating in us.

Joy is the feeling I have when God gets me through prolonged, trying situations – often by changing me.

Joy is the reward in working with others, pooling our gifts and talents, in a God-designed project that none of us could do alone.

Joy is in the laughter resounding among my friends even amid the tears of our shared lives.

Joy is the kernel in humility that makes me able to laugh at my faults and foibles.

Joy is God’s shot of energy that fuels my creative process and prods me forward, forward, forward—a tantalizing motivator and not a cruel taskmaster.

Joy is God’s pat on the back in doing something worthwhile for others.

Joy is the gold and diamonds deposited in my heart-vault in the love I receive from others.

Joy is a memory and a promise, the reminder that the Holy Spirit is at work in me even when I can’t see or feel it.

Life is hard. There’s no getting around it. We do hurt, we do make mistakes. We have faults and we fail others. We will be betrayed and misunderstood, maligned, mocked, misrepresented, and maltreated—even as followers of Jesus Christ, maybe especially as followers of Jesus Christ. Living longer under Jesus’s lordship, gaining more experience and growing wiser doesn’t necessarily make life any easier. But where ease comes up short, joy fills in.

That joy, as all the fruit of the Spirit, comes out of relationships, first with God and then with others as the Spirit works in us. We cannot enjoy the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control—outside of relationships. These are only experienced within relationships. And when we do experience them, even in the hard stuff, you bet, we’ve got Rule #5.

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Day 38: Iron Monkey

If my spiritual wu shu could only look like this!

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Days 26 + 37: Rolling with the Punches

I love a good kung fu movie. Step aside, Quentin Tarentino and Kill Bill, Steven Seagal, and Jean-Claude Van Damme, I’m popping my corn for the Chinese genre: Jet Li, Ti Lung, Donnie Yen, Michelle Yeoh, Jackie Chan, Yuen Woo Ping choreography, flicks like Wing Chun, Once Upon in China, Iron Monkey, Hero, Kung Fu Hustle, and, yes, even Kung Fu Panda.
 
In my book, a good kung fu movie has to have amazing martial arts choreography, never seen before stunts, household items used as weapons, strong women holding their own, and humor, lots of it.
 
The best kung fu has a great deal of dodging and fancy footwork, flipping, leaping. Hands quickly deflect a battery of blows, a single pole skillfully handled will hold off teams of attackers. Way before Obi Wan Kenobi whispered, “Use the force, Luke” kung fu films accessed the life force of qi to scale walls, leap over buildings, and levitate.
 
Gotta love those kung fu movies. A good model for what we can do when we are spiritually fit—deflect, defeat, defend.
 
Say what?
 
Like kung fu practioners, when followers of Jesus engage in regular, disciplined spiritual exercises, we acquire “secret moves” for managing the stories of our lives. Kung fu students learn sets and forms, stances as well as rigid routines that begin with boring repetition (remember Karate Kid and “wax on, wax off?”) but over time merge into graceful, flowing dances. Kung fu starts as basic fighting skills but at its highest form becomes wu shu 武 术 — martial arts.
In Matthew 5, Jesus says:
You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. [vv 38-42]
 
Sounds like wu shu to me. However, what Jesus teaches are not athletic practices for defeating our enemies but relationship moves that help us roll with the punches. We might be able to dodge a bullet once or maybe twice. But life has so many zinging arrows, landmines, and ticking bombs that we have to be trained in how to respond in ways that defuse situations instead of escalating them. Moves like these don’t come easy or naturally, and mastery doesn’t come through practice hitting sessions at home.
 
To get to the place where we can offer our cheek, give someone the clothes off our back, go the second mile, we have to learn how to walk differently, train ourselves in new reactions, and develop new muscle memory.
 
We have to plug ourselves into God's operating system, the one guided by His force, the Holy Spirit. That only comes by taking part in a spiritual exercise programs involving disciplines such as prayer, worship, Sabbath, study, confession, accountability, service, giving.
 
Little by little, over time, slowly with practice, God transforms our feeble efforts, small prayers, obedient giving until we have a new outlook on life. Equipped with gifts and skills from God that we know how to use, we can walk through chaos, mend failed relationships, restore lost paths, resurrect dead hope, and cure diseased mindsets. We can feed the hungry, clothe the naked, heal the sick, and bring home the lost. We can rebuild our families. We will find we can do what Paul instructs us in Romans 12:14-18 and:
 
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

The Christian life is not one without pain, hardship, trial, suffering, betrayal, or injustice. In fact, the longer I live and the more I grow as a believer, the more hurt, sorrow, disappointment, loss, and failure I encounter. It never goes away.
 
However, as I train with God, He develop within me the spiritual fitness to get up when knocked down, to duck the swings, tumble to safety, protect my heart, laugh at my follies, and roll with the punches. And that’s far better than even the best kung fu movie.

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Day 35: The Final Stretch

Day 35:  The Final Stretch
 
Five days to go in the 40-Day Fast. I can be tempted to view the remaining days as the final moments before relief, a “just hold on a little longer, you can do it” frame of mind—survival mentality as it were. That would be an expected and respectable response to 40 days of any kind of increased rigor whether spiritual, physical, mental, or dietary. Discipline can be tiring, boring, unrewarding and even masochistic.
 
But I am discovering something different that catches me by surprise. Rather than this being the beginning of the end, I think this could be the best stage of all. A final stretch that has me not just reaching for the finish line but accelerating past it.
 
5 weeks with 5 days to go
I’m no athlete but I am a dedicated lap swimmer, slow but steady in my workouts. The first 100 is easy: I’m fresh, energized, my muscles aren’t tired. The next several hundred, however, I feel myself tiring. I have to breathe a little more often and concentrate on pulling my hands through the water, keeping up my kick. However, by the time I reach my 800- , 900-meter mark, I’ve found my groove. My heart beats hard but strong, my kick has found the rhythm to match my stroke, each slice of my arm through the water brings a feeling of more power as I finally settle into ideal aerodynamics. Sometimes the feeling is so good in the final stretch, I don’t want to stop and switch into the next part of my workout.
 
It’s near to feeling that way now, not that the past 5 weeks have made me a superior follower of Christ, increased my virtues or performance, or made me any more holier. Rather, it’s the feeling of finding a new groove, of finally putting the mechanics into place so that what used to feel hard has lost some of the fatigue of the trying, replaced instead with a new conscious level of understanding of who God is and how his kingdom works.
 
When I swim, throughout my routine I’m in the same water, operating under the same conditions, using the same equipment. I don’t pop a few steroids or stop for an energy boost in the middle. Nothing changes from the beginning of my swim to the end. The longer I swim, the more nothing changes. But as I swim and push against the resistance, I slowly find my stride, and that takes me to a new level.
 
Dark horses
This summer I went to the racetracks for the first time. Our friends have a box at Arlington Park in the Chicago suburbs where you can watch the horses race live on Arlington track as well as watch live feeds from other premier racetracks like Churchill Downs, Pimlico and Belmont. The box is under the eaves and right in front of the finish line. From there you can see the horses rounding the final corner, pounding down the home stretch, jockeys astraddle, tails flying, heads, necks, hooves galloping to the finish.
 
My favorite races are the ones where a horse comes from behind, creeping forward through the pack, and with a final unexpected burst of acceleration eclipses the leader to win the heat.
 
What impresses me is not so much that the horse beats out the winner as the energy, strength, and muscle these colts and fillies gather in the final stretch to sail home. Somewhere in that final stretch, the jockey working with the horse knows when that horse can accelerate to a level of performance that has the horse using more of its potential.
 
That comes with practice. It comes form a jockey knowing his horse. It’s a combination of diet and exercise, healthful habits, rest, and, yes, ability, too.
 
Homestretch
In my homestretch I feel like I’m finally getting it. God as my jockey is using the feeble practices of this fast to take me to a new level, to give me a new awareness of His life in me.
 
What does that look like? For me, it’s discovering His hand in my everyday life, not just looking for intervention through the miraculous. Instead of backing away with excuses, it’s accepting and engaging in the exercise – the hard work – of wrestling with thoughts, ideas, perceptions, and questions, and not just settling for what I thought I believed or what others have told me to believe.
 
It’s a growing openness to the likely possibility—okay, to the growing certainty that my idea of happiness falls short of God’s. It is acknowledging my sin (see Day 31) and all the ways that I am not God. It is a re-gathering of all that I am in the direction of God.
 
I’m reminded of what Paul writes in Romans 12:1-2 about being transformed and renewed, quoted here in  Eugene Peterson’s translation, The Message:
 
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

I’m looking at the final stretch to be a good stretch in every meaning of the word: a time to not wind down and relax, but to let God use the new elasticity He’s creating in me to not huff and puff to the end but to send me soaring past the finish line.

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Day 34 Rest

   By the seventh day
      God had finished his work.
   On the seventh day
      he rested from all his work.
   God blessed the seventh day.
      He made it a Holy Day
   Because on that day he rested from his work,
      all the creating God had done.
                                Genesis 2:2-4 | Translated in The Message

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Day 33: On being a shallow person~Oswald Chambers

Leave it to Oswald Chambers to cut through the spiritual posturing and say it’s okay to be shallow.

Shallow and Profound
Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God —1 Corinthians 10:31

Beware of allowing yourself to think that the shallow aspects of life are not ordained by God; they are ordained by Him equally as much as the profound. We sometimes refuse to be shallow, not out of our deep devotion to God but because we wish to impress other people with the fact that we are not shallow. This is a sure sign of spiritual pride. We must be careful, for this is how contempt for others is produced in our lives. And it causes us to be a walking rebuke to other people because they are more shallow than we are. Beware of posing as a profound person— God became a baby.

To be shallow is not a sign of being sinful, nor is shallowness an indication that there is no depth to your life at all— the ocean has a shore. Even the shallow things of life, such as eating and drinking, walking and talking, are ordained by God. These are all things our Lord did. He did them as the Son of God, and He said, "A disciple is not above his teacher . . ." ( Matthew 10:24  ).

We are safeguarded by the shallow things of life. We have to live the surface, commonsense life in a commonsense way. Then when God gives us the deeper things, they are obviously separated from the shallow concerns. Never show the depth of your life to anyone but God. We are so nauseatingly serious, so desperately interested in our own character and reputation, we refuse to behave like Christians in the shallow concerns of life.

Make a determination to take no one seriously except God. You may find that the first person you must be the most critical with, as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself.

November 22 reading | My Utmost for His Highest | Oswald Chambers Daily Devotional

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Day 32: The Other S Word

Sigh.

That last posting on sin really took a lot out of me. I struggled over every thought.

Sometimes when I write, it comes spilling out like ink from a jar. I know where God is moving me. Other times, I wrestle, thoughts pulling me one way and another, words painfully executed, then excised, edited, erased, then reiterated—and not able to rest until I have pushed through all the way to discover where God wanted me to go.

The gift of this blog during this 40 Day Fast is that, number one, it’s forced me to write. But more than putting words to paper, it has, number two, forced me to think, to exercise the muscle in my brain that can clearly and joyfully articulate God in my life. Sometimes I get it well enough early enough to just write it down. Other times, I am learning as I write.

Number three, the exercise – the discipline – has helped me to grow. There is nothing like disciplined exercise for helping us grow in any area, whether it be an athletic activity, a musical instrument, reading, or thinking. Thank you, God, for pulling me up the ladder a little higher.

The older I get, the more I understand the need for discipline. And that’s why it’s helpful to regularly engage in spiritual disciplines like fasting, journaling, giving, worshipping. The gain is so much more than the perceived sacrifice. Fasting, as I said on Day 28, is feasting.

As to the Other S Word. Not sigh, but Sabbath. Rest. Feeling God as we rest in Him. Not working for Him, not sacrificing for Him, but taking long deep breaths of God. So, maybe sigh after all. And that’s what I need, we need.

This is all to say that if I take a break in the next day or so, it could be me getting a good Sabbath, getting in a good sigh with God.

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Day 32: The Other S Word

Sigh.

That last posting on sin really took a lot out of me. I struggled over every thought.

Sometimes when I write, it comes spilling out like ink from a jar. I know where God is moving me. Other times, I wrestle, thoughts pulling me one way and another, words painfully executed, then excised, edited, erased, then reiterated—and not able to rest until I have pushed through all the way to discover where God wanted me to go.

The gift of this blog during this 40 Day Fast is that, number one, it’s forced me to write. But more than putting words to paper, it has, number two, forced me to think, to exercise the muscle in my brain that can clearly and joyfully articulate God in my life. Sometimes I get it well enough early enough to just write it down. Other times, I am learning as I write.

Number three, the exercise – the discipline – has helped me to grow. There is nothing like disciplined exercise for helping us grow in any area, whether it be an athletic activity, a musical instrument, reading, or thinking. Thank you, God, for pulling me up the ladder a little higher.

The older I get, the more I understand the need for discipline. And that’s why it’s helpful to regularly engage in spiritual disciplines like fasting, journaling, giving, worshipping. The gain is so much more than the perceived sacrifice. Fasting, as I said on Day 28, is feasting.

As to the Other S Word. Not sigh, but Sabbath. Rest. Feeling God as we rest in Him. Not working for Him, not sacrificing for Him, but taking long deep breaths of God. So, maybe sigh after all. And that’s what I need, we need.

This is all to say that if I take a break in the next day or so, it could be me getting a good Sabbath, getting in a good sigh with God.



 

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Day 31: The S-word

My friend Mitch got me thinking about sin this week. We were at an open forum where I was interviewing him about being a follower of Jesus Christ as a business leader. I had the easy job.
 
The thing is, he mentioned the “S” word—SIN, in a public setting. At least it was in a Christian  setting where everyone in the room was on the same page. But it also felt so very public, meeting in a private room of a popular entertainment center, awash in loud, driving music, rapid fire video games, mounds of food, beer, beer and more beer, and ka-chink! It could have been a casino, except gambling isn’t legal here.
 
The “S” word can be jarring. No one uses it in public except “religious” people and those in the other S-word industry, the Sex Industry, where sin is star. Sin is either really, really bad, or oh so good!
 
Is there a happy medium? Oh that’s right, we’re talking about sin, the idea of wrongdoing. And that’s the problem. How does one talk about it without feeling judged or judgmental, without feeling ashamed or confused? It’s an uncomfortable word because, frankly, it admits wrongdoing and that’s just not a good feeling. We live in an enlightened society, we hold tolerant values, we are a compassionate people, and whether we believe in Jesus or not we like Jesus’ words to do unto others as we would have others do unto us. Don’t tell us we’ve sinned. We won’t tell if you don’t.
 
And yet, if we do follow Jesus’ words—all of them and not just the convenient ones—if we believe in a God who is not just good but perfect, just and righteous, if we want to have a relationship with Him, we have to come to grips with the fact that we are not like Him.
 
We have to spend serious time considering not just what makes us different but what separates us from Him. That is what I think sin is. Sin is the difference between God and us. It is everything that He is not.
 
The Greek word for sin used most frequently in the Bible is hamartia which literally means “missing a target or mark” —as when the Apostle Paul wrote, “For all have sinned [hamartano], and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). We can then say that everything that is outside of the bulls-eye is outside of the glory of God. Anything that falls short of receiving the adulation that God deserves, anything that is one iota less magnificent than God—is not God and is therefore sin.
 
Therefore, to know what sin is, we have to know God. When we know God, we will recognize what is not Him. We will understand what falls short, where we miss the mark, how we sin.
 
The S-word is still not something I want to flash around in public. But I can understand it more if I see it through the light of God rather than dig for it in the darkness of my heart. If thinking about sin actually gives me more freedom to think about God’s goodness, greatness, awesomeness, incomparableness, His grace towards me, His tenderness, His love for me—I feel empowered, I feel liberated. I actually feel okay about making a long list of how I am not like God.
 
And that is a good thing. When I can see how desirable God is but at the same time see the distance that lies between Him and I, how much more do I understand my need for Jesus. Only Jesus who is fully God and fully man can cover that chasm. That was and is God's plan for all the S words: sin, sacrifice, sanctification, salvation.
 
Paul writes in Romans 8:31-39 —
If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
   "For your sake we face death all day long;
      we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

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Day 31: In Memoriam - Luke Nishikawa

Here with us 1986 – 2008 | Home with God November 15, 2008

“Friends” by Michael W. Smith, sung here by Na Leo Pilimehana

Article and video on Luke’s untimely departure at: http://kgmb9.com/main/content/view/11552/40/

   (6720 KB)
Listen on posterous

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Day 30: Asking for it

When we pray, we’re asking for it. Literally.

Prayer is many things and has lots of different forms and functions, but the one function that is most familiar is prayer that asks for something. The technical term would be “supplication” or asking God to supply.
 
Now after a while, some of us begin to realize that much of our relationship with God is asking for it. It’s a pretty one-sided conversation. When was the last time in prayer that we turned to God and said, “And what about you? What can I do you for?”
 
We don’t because we know even before we start asking that we can’t do much for God, not really. After all He IS the Creator of the Universe, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, All-Holy, Almighty, Omnipotent God. Pretty hard to have a reciprocal relationship with someone like that.
 
But does God mind? Does he mind all the asking?
 
I remember when my daughter at not quite 3 years old was getting into her stride talking and launching into “conversation.” We were trapped on one of those long car rides between LA and San Francisco, and were pressing on non-stop through the more boring stretches that have you begging to just get home.
 
But my daughter didn’t notice it was boring. She was conversing, using her words, learning the fine art of social relationship with her mom, the “connection thing”—and asking one why question after another. She had a lot to ask: Why this? Why that? And what about that?…with no stopping to pause, ponder, pout or play. After about two hours, I had to say, “Honey, can you just be quiet now and not talk to Mommy for a while?”
 
She had exhausted me. It’s not that I didn’t like talking with my daughter. I just didn’t have the answers.
 
That’s the difference between God and I: He does have all the answers. And because He does, God delights in our asking. Our asking opens the doors to Who He Really Is.
 
In Matthew 7:7-11, Jesus tells us:
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
 
The invitation to ask doesn’t go only for the pretty, neatly wrapped things that can be easily packaged and tidily put away. That’s how we humans would have all our answers.
 
The invitation takes on new dimensions when we give God something hard. I wonder if God loves these prayers best because it gives us the opportunity to see what God can do.
 
Let me repeat that: It gives US the opportunity to see what God can do. Asking God the impossible removes the limits we place on the possible. Asking admits that God has powers beyond human capability, thought or genius. When we ask the impossible, we turn the corner on who God is—from a neatly boxed God to not what I thought he was, and then even more. That, in itself is a miracle within us that changes everything.
 
Every prayer is a crack in the wall between heaven and earth, a wall not put up by God, but our wall of little imagination that prefers to gaze at the limited things of earth than  wonder at the limitless things of heaven. Ask for it.

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Day 29: If Is Not Where It's At

This evening, my daughter and I learned that one of her friends died in a car accident last night. He was 22, finishing college, a nice guy, good person with a future full of hope. It’s what you don’t want to hear. One of those things that you wish were a bad dream and not true when you wake up in the morning.

Something happened that caused the car crash. No one knows exactly. We can only speculate: Was it the weather, the roads, the car, the driver? Was there a distraction, a slip, blinding light from oncoming traffic?

And even if we knew the exact reason, the detailed cause, we can only second guess how it could have been prevented: If he had this, if he had that. If he hadn’t this, if he hadn’t that. If only…

If only what? If only he had known? If only someone else had changed the circumstances? If only God had stepped in and un-caused it?

Here, “if” is not a useful word because it dares to entertain that we are capable of always making the better choice, exercising better control, seeing and sidestepping danger with the flick of a steering wheel.

“If” is a conditional word offering a fork in the road that is just one intersection in a complex decision tree.

We cannot build our lives on IF.
It’s too shaky, too fragile to have every branch break off into more and more branches. We cannot hold steady in the uncertainty that maybe we made the wrong decision. With IF we always second guess.

We can only build our lives on IS.
The only way to have peace in our lives is to build on something Absolute – where there are none of the proverbial if's, and's, or but's—only IS. We need a permanent stability that moves us forward through change while remaining immovable, invariable, inalterable, unshakeable, unchanging, uncompromising, unconditional.

Jesus told us where to find that Absolute. He describes the differences between the surety of IS and the uncertainty of IF using house building. He says in Matthew 7:24-27—

Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.

Building our lives on IF is like building our house on sand— a million little particles shifting with rain, flood, wind. Sand does not hold its ground, cannot hold its form but flees. IF is the same way: you can’t pin it down.

But when we build our lives on IS, we build it on rock. Rock has integrity, shape, certainty, mass; rock is the foundation of the earth. Jesus says we can depend upon his words and shape our lives around them. Jesus IS the Word of God, the Great I Am. You can’t get anymore IS than that.

And for those of us who need it simple, can’t remember big expositions about anything, let along theology, Jesus’ words boil down to just one thing: I love you. The Absolute is nothing less than God’s unconditional love. Love that is pure, without reason or motive, without season or expectation. Love that never goes away.

Tonight, I thought about my daughter’s friend who knew Jesus' words and practiced them. He is on the other side of time where there are no longer any "if's" to second guess his life, and where he knows without condition the sure love of God. I then went into my 13 year old son’s bedroom as he lay sleeping, and laying my hand on his head said a prayer that went like this:

May you always know the absolute love of God.
May you know His absolute love through me, your dad, your sister, your brother.
May His Love protect you, because I cannot.
May it guide you, because I cannot.
May it redeem your present and your past, because I cannot.
May it be your future, because I cannot
May it be your peace, because I cannot.
May you know that it IS.

Day 28: The Difference Between Fasting and Feasting, a thin line

Sometimes I think I would enjoy life more if I were an ascetic.

I know that sentence doesn’t seem to equate. Enjoying life more would generally put the emphasis on the “more”—more quantity, more volume, more indulging, more More. I would seem the perfect candidate for the BOGO buy one, get one scheme. The problem is, I am.

I like a bargain, I like value, I like More, and I’d like to have more of what I like. A good experience begs a repeat experience, another partaking to match or even exceed the first. Pleasurable feelings, whether sight, sound, smell, taste, texture, or emotional have an addictive quality. How many people go to garage sales, thrift shops, Ross Dress for Less, One Day Sales for the mere thrill of the hunt?!

At the same time, however, I don’t need more, and sometimes I discover I don’t want more.

I often feel worse off for having more. Eating too much makes my body feel out of sorts. I physically turn away from tasting some foods because of their excessively richness. I can find a bag full of bargains at store; but when I get home, though I like all my treasures, my delight meter falters.

When More should be sending me off the seismic sensory scale, inside the needle sometimes flutters before falling flat. Rather than filling me, More can deflate me. Can you have too much of a good thing. Apparently, yes.

Without being lifestyle anorexic, I feel better when I eat less. I travel better when I pack less. I write better when I say less. I find uneasy dissatisfaction when I see my closet getting too full. I become irritable when my day is too packed. Large department stores decrease my desire to shop. Crowds send me packing home. Long books are just long books.

Mine is an ongoing personal struggle of discovering life to its fullest on a thin line.
Have I always been like this? Are ascetics born or made? I don’t know, and I don’t think I quite qualify as an ascetic. I’m not a hermit…yet. But I do know that when I fast I get much more out of it than when I feast.

Recently I had one of those necessary medical procedures where I had to completely empty out my digestive track. Nada was left inside. When I returned to eating, I couldn’t enjoy a normal diet. After a few bites of meat, I felt like I had eaten a whole side of prime rib, several lobsters, and polished it off with an entire dessert table. It took a week for me to recover and eat a regular meal

Fasting not just from food but fasting of a spiritual nature does that to me, too. When I fast as a spiritual discipline, whether it be from magazine reading, gossip, unnecessary purchases, computer games, sarcasm—I become more acutely aware of what I do not need. The purpose of a spiritual fast is to release toxic intrusions so that we can make more room for experiencing a Holy God in a deeper, more intimate, more powerful, more real way.

There’s that More word again —and the paradox of fasting. How can less bring us more? Or, what is the difference between fasting and feasting? Maybe we can take our cue from that little letter “e.” E for eating, ego, engineering, escapism, escalation, everything excess.

I would like to suggest that fasting is feasting when we are holding out for the best things in life. Not just the cream but the crème de la crème. Not just the fat but the fatted calf that God, “the waiting father” roasts on our return (see the Prodigal Son). We don’t need dessert when desert experiences show us oases to hide from the scorching sun, and when darkest night brings out the brightest stars.

The feast is in holding fast to Jesus, seeking Him to show us the way back to ourselves when we have become glutted and gorged. The feast is in letting go of everything, sending it out so that Jesus can show us in the residue that we with Him are enough. The feast is in finding the Essential E’s: El-Shaddai, The God Who is Sufficient for the Needs of His People. Emmanuel, God with Us.

When we do, we are better able to live on thin lines, to meet people where they feel empty and lacking, to love others when they feel small, to embrace those who feel invisible but whom God calls precious.

Thin lines help us survive lean times without giving up the best. It’s how Etty Hillesum lived in the Holocaust. (See Day 25.)

Celtic Christians talked about the thin place, saying that heaven and earth are only three feet apart, but in the thin places that distance is even smaller. “A thin place is where the veil that separates heaven and earth is lifted and one is able to receive a glimpse of the glory of God.”

May we all hold fast to thin lines.

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Day 27: Hands off, hands up, hands down

From Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest, November 15:

One of the hardest lessons to learn comes from our stubborn refusal to refrain from interfering in other people’s lives. It takes a long time to realize the danger of being an amateur providence, that is, interfering with God’s plan for others. You see someone suffering and say, "He will not suffer, and I will make sure that he doesn’t." You put your hand right in front of God’s permissive will to stop it, and then God says, "What is that to you?" Is there stagnation in your spiritual life? Don’t allow it to continue, but get into God’s presence and find out the reason for it. You will possibly find it is because you have been interfering in the life of another— proposing things you had no right to propose, or advising when you had no right to advise. When you do have to give advice to another person, God will advise through you with the direct understanding of His Spirit. Your part is to maintain the right relationship with God so that His discernment can come through you continually for the purpose of blessing someone else.

Most of us live only within the level of consciousness— consciously serving and consciously devoted to God. This shows immaturity and the fact that we’re not yet living the real Christian life. Maturity is produced in the life of a child of God on the unconscious level, until we become so totally surrendered to God that we are not even aware of being used by Him. When we are consciously aware of being used as broken bread and poured-out wine, we have yet another level to reach— a level where all awareness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is completely eliminated. A saint is never consciously a saint— a saint is consciously dependent on God.
---------------
Hands off!
It’s what our teachers told us in kindergarten: Keep your hands to yourself! As adults, some of us still haven’t learned the lesson. Sometimes I think I’m so right…about other peoples’ lives, other peoples’ decisions, other peoples’ circumstances. And rather than actually helping them, my advice becomes a barging in, “pimp their lives” make-over as if I really knew better—as if I were God.

Hands up!
Chambers reminds me that the most important thing I can do for another person is that I “maintain a right relationship with God.”

When challenged by the Pharisees, "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus said,
“’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” [Matthew 22:36-40]

God reigns, hands down.

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Day 26, Part II: What do you hear?

What Do You Hear?

I posted the two recent quotes by Etty Hillesum (Day 25 http://40dayfast.posterous.com/day-25-no-one-is-in-their-clut) and N.T. Wright (Day 26 http://40dayfast.posterous.com/day-26-whisperings-in-our-inne) <http://40dayfast.posterous.com/day-26-whisperings-in-our-inne)> because they resonate with me.

Their words go beyond mere reassurance that others believe in The Divine. They speak of my personal experience of a God that is intimate and alive, real and sacred, a God that moves within my life with the ethereal whisper of fine-spun gossamer and delicate filament, not quite visible to the naked eye and yet pulsating undeniably like an unquenchable quasar, the sure heartbeat of His presence.

Like Etty Hillesum, I feel Him in secret dwelling places—unmovable, unmistakable, like a bit of ore, precious metal lodged in a site deep within that I can’t quite identify, its nucleus irradiating an expansive sense of being alive.
 
Like N.T. Wright, I hear whisperings from someone who cares about me and the world—words of truth that show me how to put things right when I have badly botched up, perspective when the forces of this world create tilt that would make me believe I am going to spill out, mercy when we have all gone over the edge, grace that picks us up and shows the eternal, imperishable beauty that conquers the darkest evil to give us hope.
 
When I read the experience of fellow believers in Jesus, seei on paper, hear in their words the intimacy with the God that I know who does not leave us and is here for our hope—I feel a simultaneous welling up of tears and shouts of  “Yes! Yes! Yes!”  He is here for me. He is here for you.
 
This is not something new. The apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 4: 6-12,16-18
 
vv 6-12
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
 
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

 vv 16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

 
I believe that God does speak to us. I stand by that. We can all hear His voice, feel His presence. It only requires surrender—not in the sense of being defeated because God is not our enemy, but in the sense of putting down our guard to trust the One who loves us more than we can begin to imagine.
 
Like the photo in Day 24, we must rest unguarded, quieted with our head near His heart  so that we can begin to catch the echoes, as N.T. Wright puts it, until the whisperings are real and we are “rescued at last.”

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Day 26: Whisperings in our inner ear

Quote by N.T. Wright

There are three basic ways of explaining this sense of the echo of a voice, it is call to justice, this dream of a world (and all of us within it) put to rights.
 
We can say, if we like, that it is indeed only a dream, a projection of childish fantasies, and that we have to get used to living in the world the way it is. Down that road we find Machiavelli and Nietzsche, the world of naked power and grabbing what you can get, the world where the only sin is to be caught.
 
Or we cay say, if we like, that the dream is of a different world altogether, a world where we really belong, where everything is indeed put to rights, a world into which we can escape in our dreams in the present and hope to escape one day for good—but a world which has little purchase on the present world except that people who live in this one sometimes find themselves dreaming of that one. That approach leaves the unscrupulous bullies running this world, but it consoles us with the thought that things will be better somewhere, sometime, even if there’s not much we can do about it here and now.
 
Or we can say, if we like, that the reason we have these dreams, the reason we have a sense of a memory of the echo of a voice, is that there is someone speaking to us, whispering in our inner ear—someone who cares very much about this present world and our present selves, and who has made us and the world for a purpose which will indeed involve justice, things being put to rights, ourselves being put to rights, the world being rescued at last.

[N.T. Wright, Simply Christian, HarperCollins, 2006, pp 8-9]

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Day 25: No one is in their clutches who is in Your arms.

From the diary of Etty Hillesum.

Etty Hillesum was a young Jewish woman, born in the Netherlands in 1914, lived in Nazi-occupied Netherlands and died at the age of 29 in Auschwitz, Poland on November 30, 1943. During that time she kept a diary, which she entrusted to the safekeeping of a friend when she was sent to Westerbrook Camp., then published posthumously.

July 12, 1942~
Dear God, these are anxious times. Tonight for the first time I lay in the dark with burning eyes as scene after scene of human suffering passed before me. I shall promise You one thing, God, just one very small thing: I shall never burden my today with cares about my tomorrow, although that takes some practice. Each day is sufficient unto itself. I shall try to help You, God, to stop my strength ebbing away, tough I cannot vouch for it in advance. But one things is becoming increasingly clear to me: that You cannot help us, that we must help You to help ourselves. And that is all we can manage these days and also all that really matters: that we safeguard that little piece of You, God, in ourselves. And perhaps in others as well. Alas, there doesn’t seem to be much You Yourself can do about our circumstances, about our lives. Neither do I hold You responsible. You cannot help us, but we must help you and defend Your dwelling place inside us to the last. There are, it is true, some who, even at this late stage, are putting their vacuum cleaners and silver forks and spoons in safekeeping instead of guarding Your, dear God. And there are those who want to put their bodies in safekeeping but who are nothing more now than a shelter for a thousand fears and bitter feelings. And they say, ‘I shan’t let them get me into their clutches.’ But they forget that no one is in their clutches who is in Your arms. I am beginning to feel a little more peaceful, God, thanks to this conversation with You. I shall have many more conversations with You. You are sure to go through lean times with me now and then, when my faith weakness a little, but believe me, I shall always labor for You and remain faithful to You, and I shall never drive You from my presence.

More on Etty at http://www.ehoc.ugent.be/en

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Day 24: My Child [revised posting]

I Will Carry You

The Amy Grant song posted below (Day 23) reminded me of this black and white photo of my daughter in 1987. She was about 15 months. It’s one of my favorites.

It captures the essence of a child who completely trusts, laying down everything in the arms of one who cares. It’s a picture of feeling that all is well with the world—resting not for weariness, resignation, despair or surrender but in absolute security.

That’s how I would like to feel in the arms of God—possessed by the absolute that all is well with the world, resting not for weariness, resignation, despair or surrender. Not held down or coerced but secured by the simple gravity of being in the arms of someone who is able to carry me with the weight of a small child fitting perfectly in the crook of his neck, on the soft strength of his shoulders.

The parent-child relationship that God has designed feels no burden in the carrying because it is without a Why, or a “Y” —not so much carrying as caring.

Those of us who are human parents are always learning this. We so much want to carry every weight, failure, disappointment, hurt, mistake, sorrow of our children. We cannot. Only God can carry our children’s burdens, just as only He can carry our own.

Watching and walking by my children as they have grown up, I am having to unclutch, unclinch, unclasp my fingers from their lives. When they were small, I could carry them and the weight of their tears. But as the older two have grown into adults, I have had to let them down from my insufficient safety and limited strength, and allow them to walk on their own…prayerfully into the arms of God who can carry them.

A few weeks ago I was praying for my daughter, now 22 and a few weeks short of 23. I was going over the details of her life, talking to God about the decisions and opportunities before her. I went through my usual exercise of providing a litany of requests along with accompanying preferences, followed by my usual “discussion” with Him about pros/cons, and ending with what has become a ritual prying off of my hands on her existence.

Some minutes later in resuming other activities, I heard God say, “She’s not your daughter anymore.” I felt my heart respond, “Yes, she’s yours, Lord.”

I understood immediately. The time had come. While she will always be my daughter, she is no longer my little girl whom I can protect or command to stop, start, or turn. I felt relieved and sad at the same time—relieved that God will be there for everything she needs, all the time, in every capacity, beyond my ability; sad in the acknowledgement that a season had passed, a chapter ended..

I have said from my children’s birth that they are God’s. As the saying goes, our children are only on loan. Dan and I baptized them as infants, I holding firmly to my part of the covenant that I would raise them as best I could in the knowledge of Him—and demanding that God likewise keep His  part of the deal.

God seems to be saying that He’s coming through. He has not forgotten His covenant. He’s making good with me, as He made good with Noah, Abraham, David, Mary, and every one who holds on to His Promise.

I will carry you. That goes for my daughter, and it still goes for me.

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Day 23: Carry You

Click to play
<br /> <br /><a href="http://www.metrolyrics.com/Amy-Grant-lyrics.html">Amy Grant Lyrics</a><br /><a href="http://www.metrolyrics.com/">Carry You Lyrics</a></embed>

This song by  Amy Grant reminds me that I don't have to bear everything by myself. Too often we think that the burden is ours to carry as we trudge a solitary path through life. As Christians we will even spiritualize it and laden our prayers with overwhelming responsibility.

But God says we were never meant to bear the weight of the world, only Jesus His Son can. Jesus says: Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

"Lay down your burden. I will carry you, I will carry you, my child, my child."

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Day 22: When I Grow Up

When I Grow Up

Today in my small group, someone said, “I’ve been thinking about when I grow up….”

I love it when friends say that. It signals that we’re in a good place to learn, change, transform. It shows that we know we’re not done yet. We are only the current, 2008 model, far from the final product. Like cars, we need to have our engines tweaked, fuel efficiency increased, smoke emissions decreased, tires balanced, chips updated, batteries recharged, and owner’s manual explained…even though this will be the 300 day this year that God diagrammed how to turn the steering wheel in His direction.

Being teachable is a great quality. But the question still must be: Who are our teachers? Are there significant others whom we seek out because they know more than we know? That’s a good question to ask any follower of Jesus Christ. It is an even better, dare I say, more important question to ask leaders of followers of Jesus Christ.

As a person sometimes referred to as a leader, I believe everyone in a position of leadership should be able to answer questions like:

• Who are your mentors whom you seek out for counsel?
• Who are your teachers that help you acquire, understand and apply new knowledge?
• Who keeps you accountable—professionally, personally, and spiritually?
• Who can say “no” to you, and whose “no” will you accept?
  

It is dangerous place to be without a teacher. I know for my own good and others’ sanity that I must put myself under other people’s authority. That’s “put” not “resign” myself. I need people to whom I can go with big questions, stupid questions, practical questions. I need to know that there are people out there who can and will stop me when I grab the steering wheel and won’t let go.

It’s not enough to say, Oh God keeps me in check, God is my mentor, teacher, authority; He’ll tell me if I go rogue.

It’s not a question of whether God will speak up, but whether we will we hear it, admit to it, or obey it. If we are confident that God will exercise His leadership over us, we should be confident that He can use others to speak it as well.

So much of growing into a mature believer is Obedience — doing what God says to do even if it comes from someone else. It’s never easy, though, because we often mistakenly think that growing up means exerting total, perfect control. I am learning, however, that smaller obediences done frequently over time are much more effective and far less painful than having to later own up to a major disobedience.

It’s the essence of Matthew 5:21-30

"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Jesus is saying commit yourselves to the small obedience before your large disobediences get out of hand:

Put aside your anger towards your brother (small obedience) before you kill him (big disobedience).

Make your relationship right with humans (small conflict) before you try to make your relationship right with the Almighty God (big conflict).

Settle out of court (small payment) before the judge throws you into jail (your whole life and every last penny).

Look the other way before you have to tear out your eye. And if you can’t look the other way, blind yourself to temptation before temptation blinds you into damaging another person. Risk small losses before you lose everything.

As we grow, can we loose ourselves in complete obedience to God? Is it possible to willingly and unbegrudgingly say, “Yes, Lord!” It’s hard unless growing up means discovering that we can trust God with everything, even our life —just as Jesus His Son did. It’s not so hard if our relationship with God is entirely one of love. It becomes easy when we see His directions as expressions of His Love for us and when our response is purely driven by our Love for Him. A child who adores her Heavenly Father, that’s what I want to be when I grow up.

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Music for Day 21: Every Move I Make

I went to bed thinking about Romans 8 and woke up with this song in my head.

Integrity Music version:

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Day 21: The Grace in Intercession

The Grace in Intercession

I was struck when I read yesterday’s November 7 Oswald Chambers reading from My Utmost for His Highest (see Day 20 posting for text). I turned to Dan and asked, “Is Oswald Chambers suggesting that intercession is not just prayer but action?”

Note in particular the highlighted sentences from the reading’s first paragraph:

The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, "I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that." All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints.

Chambers points to everyday circumstances, the things that occupy the normal routine of our lives, as the arenas where God can use us to bring others into a relationship with him.

In the scripture reference, Romans 8:28, the apostle Paul writes, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Chambers echoes Paul in saying that the piddly details of our lives—and not grand expositions of heroic proportions—that are the molecules, atoms, and particles that are the stuff of God’s purposes.

Yikes! Does that mean when I pour out the ketchup on my burger and fries that I’d better be extra careful because a little condiment could determine eternity for some unsuspecting soul nearby? Do my actions determine the fate of the Universe, or the fate of someone six degrees of separation from me? [swell of orchestra music]

No. The whole point is to not be anxious about performing well. The idea is to not be overcome by fear of failure or haunted by the possibility of missing some divine appointment. The point is to not think God casts a tyrannical stare upon our lives, that He’s just waiting for us to mess up or weighing whether our actions are fit for heaven.

Romans 8 is in fact a message of Hope. It begins with the bold absolute, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No condemnation. It rises with a crescendo of  “If God is for us, who can be against us?” [v 31], and wraps with the thundering, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” [vv 38-39]

The message is quite simply: RELAX.

It’s God’s work from beginning to end but we get to participate in it—not as bystanders but as players on the field in a game our God has already won.

Our Coach is the Holy Spirit, whom the Bible calls “advocate, counselor, and helper. The Spirit is God’s gift of himself, his intimate presence comfortable enough for human-sized capacity. The Holy Spirit lives in us, renewing and guiding us through our daily lives, and putting us in places where we impact the lives of others. All we need is to be available and watchful so that we recognize the movement of God and have the pleasure of seeing our lives intertwine with others so that we can praise God for it.

This idea brings a whole new understanding to intercession. Intercession doesn’t mean kneeling for hours on cold, hard floors, or finding the right words to pray for God’s help, or any activity that seems interminably boring, frustrating, helpless, or hopeless.

It does mean seeing others with God’s heart, feeling compassion for them, and taking that compassion to the Lord. It means stopping to listen, taking a moment to notice, turning when the Spirit moves us.

It might mean a kind word to someone having a hard day. It might mean giving to a ministry or cause that touches lives we can’t reach. It could require a simple “Thank you,” or “I’m sorry.” It might mean standing by someone’s side, or sitting in someone’s hospital room. It may be packing a child’s lunch in the morning, or tucking him in at night. It may be small words of blessing or loud shouts of, “Way to go!”

Intercession is what we do as part of our everyday lives as we walk with Jesus in the love of God. Intercession is all about grace, the grace of God within us that we spill out to others. For all we know, it may someday mean sharing ketchup with the table next to us.

Posted by email from 40 Day Fast (posterous)

Day 20: My Utmost For His Highest - The Undetected Sacredness of Circumstances

From Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest
http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/11/07/devotion.aspx

November 7, 2008
The Undetected Sacredness of Circumstances
We know that all things work together for good to those who love God . . . —Romans 8:28
[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=rom%208:28;&version=31;]

The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, "I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that." All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints.

Am I making the Holy Spirit’s work difficult by being vague and unsure, or by trying to do His work for Him? I must do the human side of intercession— utilizing the circumstances in which I find myself and the people who surround me. I must keep my conscious life as a sacred place for the Holy Spirit. Then as I lift different ones to God through prayer, the Holy Spirit intercedes for them.

Your intercessions can never be mine, and my intercessions can never be yours, ". . . but the Spirit Himself makes intercession" in each of our lives ( Romans 8:26 ). And without that intercession, the lives of others would be left in poverty and in ruin.

Posted by email from 40 Day Fast (posterous)

Day 19: No Regrets

Live life with no regrets. That’s a life motto I took up the day my dad died.

He had lived a full life when died almost two years ago. He died quietly at home, in his bedroom, my mom holding his hand in the cool of the morning as the sun streamed gently from the east over the Pacific Ocean.

He went so quietly that my mother didn’t notice. He had been failing the two days prior. My sister, a physician like him, was home from San Francisco at the time. She called me around 9 am that morning and said that his pulse was weak and that his time was imminent, we should come over soon. She called back within 20 minutes to say, “Dad’s gone.” It was as if he slipped out the door.

That day, I knew that life needed to be approached with a no-regrets attitude.

• When I have the power or even tiniest ability to forgive, do it—and do it again.
• When I have the smallest urge to make a conciliatory gesture, do it.
• When I have made a mistake that hurts others, own up to it.
• When there is a misunderstanding because I have not communicated clearly, clarify.
• When I have the opportunity to do something that I will later regret if I don’t, grab it.
• When I see I can make a difference in someone else’s life with even a smile or thank you, express it.
• When I appreciate someone’s work or effort, tell them.
• When I understand that this prickly irritability really has to do with hormones, explain it.
• When time spent doing insignificant things with someone I care about looks trivial, waste it.
• When the small things in life suddenly look beautiful, admire them.
• When I’ll never pass that way again, pass slowly.
• When humility on my part can solve a problem, lay my body down.
• When my weaknesses can accomplish more than my strengths, surrender.
• If I can look back on my life and see a road that has led me to become a better person, thank God for it.
• If I can learn from others, especially my children, be teachable.
• If new perspectives change a situation from hopeless to hopeful, turn with them.
• If old habits have outgrown their usefulness, retrofit them or discard them altogether.
• If I don’t need something, don’t take it.
• If I see the bright side of things, shine a light on them for others.
• If I can extend grace to people who would benefit by a little slack, be generous with it.
• If patience will make me a better person, practice it just a little longer than I think I can.
• Whenever I can, tell those I care about that I love them.
• When it’s hard to say I love you with words, show it without words.
• When I think I hear God’s voice, listen.
• When I know I hear God’s voice, follow.
• When people pass out of my life, let them go gently.
• When crying is necessary, don’t hold back.
• Remember to say hello and goodbye, thank you and I appreciate you.
  

Live with no regrets.

Posted by email from 40 Day Fast (posterous)

Day 18: Does God Answer Prayer

Does God answer prayer?

If you were expecting a Yes or No answer, you don’t know me very well. And if you do know me, you might suspect correctly that it’s a trick question.

First, it’s not a good question. It’s not a well-framed question because it is based on assumptions that lead people astray rather than help them understand God.

It assumes that prayer is always a request and that those requests are reasonable. You might as well ask, “Do parents give their children what they ask for?” The answer would be, “It depends.” It depends on what the children are asking for. Are we asking God reasonable requests?

It assumes, if prayer is a request, that we know how to ask and what to ask for. It’s the difference between “Give us this day our daily bread,” and “Give me a big fat juicy steak.” The first concerns itself with humble primary needs, and the second with over-stimulated taste buds. We need to ask ourselves, “What should we be asking (praying) for?”

The question, “Does God answer prayer,” is an unfair proposition. It limits prayer to a one-sided understanding — the Yes/No model where God stands on the other side of wall, curtain, or impenetrable barrier. We stick our prayer requests under the door or through latched door, and he hands back his answer, “There!” Or he doesn’t answer at all.

When we make these assumptions, when we reduce God to a Yes/No question, we limit the infinite, indescribable, inconceivable person of God. In the Old Testament, Job and his friends try to explain why Job suffers, who God is, and whether God answers when people cry out . After more than 30 chapters of talking around God, God himself lays into them:

1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:
2 "Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
4 "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
[Job 38:1-4]*

God has answers beyond human understanding that make Yes/No propositions look stupid — stupid in the sense that they are without the intelligence, appreciation of the complex, wisdom, caring and love that differentiate humans made in God’s image from all the other creatures of the earth.

So now what? We begin by changing prayer from a question into a conversation, a dialogue, a dynamic relationship, dare I even suggest a dance.

We need to see the path of prayer – that what may seem like a binary answer: 1 or 0, yes or no — is really more like binary code, a series of 1’s and 0’s that act upon one another to produce a far larger, elegant masterpiece.

What may be No at one juncture may be Yes a little further down. What we hear as negatives and positives are simple redirection of our path to an ultimate outcome that we could not have imagined if we just stuck with a solitary Yes or No.

In Isaiah 1:18, God invites us:

"Come now, let us reason together,"
says the LORD.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.

He says that sin or wrong doing or feeling guilty or the worst that we are — do not have to stay that way forever. God overwrites the presumptions that block us from engaging with Him in meaningful relationship. God himself calmly sits us down and invites us to not so much negotiate a settlement as learn about the deeper matters of the heart with Him as our counselor.

Does God answer prayer? In short yes, always yes if we with him look for the answers together.

Posted by email from 40 Day Fast (posterous)

Video: The Gospel in 6 Minutes | John Piper

Posted by email from 40 Day Fast (posterous)

Day 17

November 4, 2008 – a historic day in American history, the day the United States of America elected its first African American president.

It’s been a strange exercise to be so focused on prayer during the last 17 days running up to today. How nice, or should I say wise of God to move me into this frame of mind during this important election period. Not a political person by nature, I have felt more invested in the process because of praying. I also feel a calm in the aftermath and great hope for our country—and I should qualify that by telling you that I did not vote for Hawaii’s native son but for his opponent, and I feel un-agitated by the results.

That, I am discovering, is the nature of prayer. Conversation and contemplation with God has an equalizing effect, stabilizing life and creating equilibrium when everything else hangs in the balance. I guess we could call it "peace."

People are always asking me how things are going—good, bad, well, hard, happily, terribly could be answers. Most times I don’t really know how to answer honestly. I used to say a lot: “Busy. We’ve been really busy.”

But the truth is that Dan’s and my life is ALWAYS busy. That’s how it's been for 27 years; that's the norm. When are we not caught up in a project, program, problem that rocks our boat? Yup, our boat is pretty much rocking all the time. We man a boat always caught up in gale winds, towering ocean swells, fast currents, rocky coastlines, sweltering noons, and narrow straits. God hasn’t seemed to spare us the full open water experience.

[I should say, before your imaginations run wild, Dan and I are fine. We’re good, really good with each other. We happily share the same boat and neither of us plans to mutiny or sharply nudge the other before yelling, “Man overboard!”]

However, because our lives are ministry, our boat is a Life Boat. Ours is a little dinghy that rescues people amid the storms of life and also shows them how to sail through the storms.

Right now there are people around us who have debilitating diseases, dissolving marriages breaking apart, suicidal thoughts, financial melt downs, personal crises, and anxious, fearful hearts. Dan also has a church to pastor, together we have a separate ministry to continue, and we have children, family and friends we care for. That’s why our boat is always rocking.

More experience is not going to steady our boat. We cannot anticipate every maelstrom, nor get early warning on that rogue wave. Every change in weather means learning a new tact. And when we get caught in a perfect storm, the only thing we can do is ride it out, hang on for dear life, and pray.

That, my friends, is a good thing. We are getting good at riding out storms by praying through them. We pray to seek solutions, but in a storm the fix-its are seldom quick or easy. We pray to understand circumstances, but in a storm those circumstances are frequently beyond our control. We pray to find resolutions, but in a storm the origins are deep, emotional and often not logical. We pray for miracles, and sometimes the miracles look a lot different from the good weather and calm seas we seek.

It makes me think of Jesus calming the storm in Matthew 8:23-26:
Then [Jesus] got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

I am learning that prayer is having Jesus in the boat. Our boats will be rocked: life is rocky. I can guarantee that, whether or not you are in ministry. We just cannot cross the ocean without encountering storms and we cannot control the storms. However, in the tipping and toppling, the swishing and sloshing, Jesus sits in the center and calls us to sit with him and see life from his perspective. He takes us through the ups and downs of life.

Prayer is perspective and patience in a rocking boat, and on a rocky road to Washington.