Friday, November 20, 2009

The blessing of friends

I’ve been thinking a lot about friends lately and the riches that lie in good friends that stand with us in every situation. They are the people that hold us up when we’re too tired to go a step further. They are the people who sit with us through the darkness and the night. They are the ones who call out our names when we are groping in a haze of confusion, who remind us of who we are at our essence and at our core. They are the ones that laugh with us, celebrate with us, and count our blessings with us. Thank God for friends. They are part of who we are.

Here’s what Proverbs says about friends like these.

Proverbs 17:17 (The Message)
 Friends love through all kinds of weather,
   and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.

Proverbs 18:24 (The Message)
 Friends come and friends go,
   but a true friend sticks by you like family.

Proverbs 27:6 (New International Version)
 Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
     but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 27:9 (New International Version)
 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,
       and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

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Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on

A friend passed this on to me today. Words of wisdom, something for every and any day, written by Regina Brett.

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

  1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
  2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
  3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
  4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
  6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
  8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
  9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
  10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
  12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
  13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
  15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
  16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
  17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
  18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
  19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
  20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
  21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
  22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
  23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
  24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
  25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
  26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
  27. Always choose life.
  28. Forgive everyone everything.
  29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
  30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
  31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
  32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
  33. Believe in miracles.
  34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
  35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
  36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
  37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
  38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
  39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
  40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
  41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
  42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
  43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
  44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
  45. The best is yet to come.
  46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
  47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
  49. Yield.
  50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday, May 28, 2006
Learn more about Regina at http://www.reginabrett.com/

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You can't change *anybody*

“I came to realize that really I can’t change anybody. I could counsel with them, I could coach them, I could lead them, I could hold up the mirror for them and everything. But ultimately change has to come from them. It dawned on me that if they didn’t change themselves, if they didn’t have the desire and the will to change I couldn’t change them.”

Don Soderquist quoted in George Barna’s newest book, Master Leaders, Barna © 2009, p 2
[ http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/5-barna-update/315-30-respected-leaders-weigh-in-on-what-it-takes-to-be-a-master-leader]

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Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, Nov 2-3, Days 16 & 17: True faith

Thinking on this quote from Philip Yancey’s book:

If we insist on visible proofs from God we may well prepare the way for a permanent state of disappointment. True faith does not so much attempt to manipulate God to do our will as it does to position us to do God’s will.

From Disappointment with God, p 242
http://www.amazon.com/Disappointment-God-Philip-Yancey/dp/031021436X

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Monday, November 02, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, Oct 31-Nov 1, Days 14 & 15: How to be blessed

A few random thoughts on how to receive blessings from God.

  • Make sure that our cup is not already full – not overflowing with things that we have added to our lives.
  • If we find that our lives are too crowded, make room for God – off load some of the stuff.
  • The best place to insert God’s blessing is in our hearts.
  • Sometimes blessing comes in through our ears
  • Recognize our needs and admit that we are not sufficient for meeting all of them by ourselves.
  • Forgive someone; that’s also a good way to offload stuff and create more space in our lives.
  • Be willing to experiment. Risk a little something for God, then risk a little something more.
  • Have a sense of humor. Lighten up. God’s blessing may not originally look how you expect it to look.
  • Practice gratitude. Every time, every thing we are thankful for becomes a blessing if we stop to see the value.
  • Don’t keep an eye on other people’s blessing. That’s for them and not for you.
  • Rejoice in your relationships.
  • Celebrate everything you see that is good.
  • Relax.
  • Don’t design your own blessings. God is not a Build-a-Blessing Workshop.
  • Try it on for size.
  • Smile. Laugh.
  • Cry and let God wipe your tears.
  • Share your life with others.
  • Dream. Imagine. Consider the miraculous.
  • Open up your hands, unclench your fists.
  • Be generous.
  • Rest in Him.

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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 29-30, Days 12 & 13: The Element of Surprise

The best plots contain the element of surprise. Whether it be a mystery novel, an animated cartoon, a poem, a movie, sonnet, or a personal relationship – those that have an unexpected turn for the better or for the worst, always keep us glued to our seats.

And so it is true for the Gospels, indeed for the whole Bible. It is also true for our lives. God is a god of surprises, who takes the impossible and makes it a moment in time that can stretch across generations. God knows that had we no surprises we would have no joy – and joy is at the heart or blessings.

Have you ever experienced blessings that were expected. Or, let me put it this way if you thought a blessing was coming, once it did come as a blessing, was it just the way you had played it out in your mind…or was it even better?!

Here’s a what Jesus said about those who would be blessed:

Matthew 5:1-12 (The Beatitudes)

1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

These are the people whom we would least expected to receiving blessing…for the very reason that they are blessed: They are poor, they mourn, they are hungry and thirsty, they are persecuted. God always turns the tables. It’s not because we don’t deserve blessing. God’s blessing is totally “his,” and the blessing is not based on our expectations, criteria, or demands. Blessings are not something we can earn or strive for, only something conferred upon us in surprising unanticipated volume, form, timing, qualitiy and extraordinariness.

How has God surprised you today? If it’s come from his hand, it is a blessing, and always a blessing in surprise.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 28, Day 11: Who Am I [Casting Crowns]

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Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 27, Day 10: Earth shaking blessings

In the Bible, in chapter 4 of the Book of  Acts, we read of one of those literally earth-shaking events experienced by the early Church:

[31] After they [the apostles Peter and John] prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly. [32] All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. [33] With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all [34] that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales [35] and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.

Most people in the church today are familiar with this passage as a model for living in community as followers of Jesus Christ: being one in heart and mind, sharing possessions, meeting each others’ needs. Isn’t that our ideal and goal to live in such harmony and with mutual love for one another? It certainly is mine. The world would be such a better place if we did.

However, it was not until rereading this passage today that I realized I had missed the first point, the first goal the preempts and predicates the goal of living in community. It is this in verse 33: And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all.

God’s Grace. That is the key, the engine, the nuclear power that drives blessing – and not our good intentions or understanding, compassion, mercy, kindness, or love. Blessing does not start with us. Blessing starts with God and His grace working powerfully in us. It is His grace that turns our world upside down. His grace that moves us to do the unheard of. Grace that draws us together, makes us of one heart and mind, looses selfishness from our clenched fists. It God’s grace that gives us a testimony of any kind. It is the God’s grace that we have a redeemed, resurrected and changed life. And it is because of God’s tremendous, unmerited grace toward us that we can bless anyone.

It’s all because of God. And that, friends, is earth-shaking.

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Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 26, Day 9: Word of God Speak

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All that I need is to be with You and in the quiet hear Your voice.

Word of God Speak
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

[sung by Big Daddy Weave]

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 25, Day 9: Counting my blessings

On Day 9 of our annual 40-day church fast, a brief list of some of the things I’ve learned about blessing lately.

  1. I’m blessed when I slow down to hear Jesus and appreciate others
  2. Blessing doesn’t depend upon quantity or size
  3. Blessing sometimes requires cracking open a hard, protective shell: mine
  4. I can bless even when I’m grouchy; it just doesn’t look as pretty
  5. Being able to forgive is a huge blessing
  6. Asking for forgiveness blesses me even more than the person I’m asking forgiveness of
  7. An authentic affirmation is the blessing that can make another person’s day
  8. Blessing that involves creativity makes the reward all mine
  9. Sometimes the best blessing I can give someone is to not say anything at all
  10. Blessedness is being connected to God through the Holy Spirit
  11. Blessing someone else is an act I do in conjunction with God and never apart from Him.
  12. I feel blessed by even the smallest thank you
  13. If I dig down with God, beneath the pain there’s always blessing just waiting to escape
  14. The well of blessing Jesus draws from can never be emptied, never runs dry
  15. God loves to bless his children. If we’re not receiving any, simply acting like adults

Pamela A. Chun
©October 25, 2009
Please reprint only with permission.

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Saturday, October 24, 2009

Blessing me as I listen

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As the Deer
By Marty Nystrom (sung in this rendition by Salvador)

As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after thee
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship thee

Chorus
You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship thee

You're my friend and You are my brother,
Even though you are a king.
I love you more thank any other,
So much more than anything.

I want You more than gold or silver,
Only You can satisfy.
You alone are the real joy Giver,
And the apple of my eye.

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Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 24, Day 8: Listen to the blessing

For me, personally, prayer becomes more and more a way to listen to the blessing. I have read and written much about prayer, but when I go to a quiet place to pray, I realize that the real “work” of prayer is to become silent and listen to the voice that says good thing is about me. This might sound self-indulgent, but, in practice, it is a hard discipline. I am so afraid of being cursed, of hearing that I am no good or not good enough, that I quickly give in to the temptation to start talking and to keep talking in order to control my fears.

- Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World
http://www.amazon.com/Life-Beloved-Spiritual-Living-Secular/dp/0824519868/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1219782553&sr=8-1

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Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 23, Day 7: All you need is a table

When God asks us to bless others, sometimes all we need is a table – a simple table to invite them to sit with us so we can share our lives. We don’t need a fancy spread, carefully written invitations, or even a lot of forethought. All we need to do is a tiny bit of time and space, enough to say, “I care. Come around my table with me for a few moments.” And then just listen. Love them. Laugh with them. Let them have a place at our table.

Pamela A. Chun
©October 21, 2009
Please reprint only with permission.

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Friday, October 23, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 22, Day 6: Blessed at the foot of the cross

Today I listened to a sermon called “The Cross Shouldn’t Be Our Kryptonite” by a friend, Pastor Ken Fong of Evergreen Baptist Church Los Angeles [http://www.ebcla.org/]. I’m not exactly sure about the kryptonite metaphor but Ken’s message hit me hard about understanding the power and the blessing of admitting our need for the cross. It was a message that spoke to me about regularly, even daily, examining myself —not for sin so that God can condemn me, but for sin and shortcomings so that God can forgive and bless me.

The idea isn’t that we do this to become perfect, because no one is perfect. We do this because God is perfect and knows how to love and care for us perfectly in ways that don’t punish us, make us pay pack for our wrong doings, or belittle us. Instead, God says, “Let me bless you even though you are not perfect.”

Blessing comes because of our imperfection. I am blessed by the undeserved, unearned, unmerited grace of God. To receive it I need to live like I need the cross –  acknowledging daily that I am not sufficient to answer all of life’s tough situations and that I certainly am not sufficient for saving others, myself, or the world.

If you would like to listen to Ken’s sermon, you can find it on iTunes at http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?i=61076624&id=129600028
(The beginning is a report to the congregation of its capital campaign. Ken begins speaking about 8:30 into the audio.)

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

The best king of Israel has fallen the farthest. But neither he, nor anyone, can fall beyond the reach of God's love & forgiveness -P.Yancey

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 21, Day 5: When fair isn't fair

A friend and I have been struggling over the issue of fairness.

We struggle over situations when things aren’t “fair,” especially in relationships. We understand the concept of pulling our own weight, of pitching in, of being and taking responsibility—and what gets us raw, impatient, grumpy, and sullen is when others don’t. We ask, “Why do we have to be the Responsible Adult all the time?” Why does it seem that when we ask for forgiveness, it isn’t reciprocated? We feel taken advantage of, taken for granted, asked to pitch in even more when we already feel we have given our fair share and probably even more into a situation. We often end up having to suck it up, while “they” luxuriate in their own little worlds.

Not fair, Lord, we complain—and we are tired. You know it would be so much easier if each person did their fair share; or better yet if every person went overboard in giving to a relationship. If each person contributed 60%, added up in a two-person relationship, we’re way over 100! But. But, Lord, they’re not doing 60%. Heck, it feels like their not even doing 50% and most of the time it’s a stretch to see they are putting in much more than 40%

Lord, if everything were done by everyone fairly, the world would be such a better place. And if every one did even just a little more than what was fairly required — say, 51% — everything would be swelling in abundance

But that’s not what happens. Life isn’t fair. Circumstances get thrust upon us. We are perceived as strong and confident: competent, and once again the scales are imbalanced. We do more because we can. And yet, that is what God calls us to do, and to do it freely, do it unfairly.

Here’s what author Philip Yancey says:

To understand this issue of human freedom, it may help to imagine a world in which everyone truly does get what he or she deserves. That world would be just and consistent, and everyone would clearly know what God expected. Fairness would reign. There is, however, one huge problem with such a tidy world: it's not at all what God wants to accomplish on earth. God wants from us love, freely given love, and we dare not underestimate the premium God places on that love. Freely given love is so important that God allows our planet to be a cancer of evil in the universe—for a time.

If this world ran according to fixed, perfectly fair rules, there would be no true freedom. We would act rightly because of our own immediate gain, and selfish motives would taint every act of goodness. In contrast, the Christian virtues described in the Bible develop when we choose God and God's ways in spite of temptation or impulses to do otherwise.

God wants us to choose to love freely, even when that choice involves pain, because we are committed to God, not to our own good feelings and rewards. God wants us to cleave, as Job did, even when we have every reason to deny God hotly. Job clung to God’s justice when he was the best example in history of God’s apparent injustice. He did not seek the Giver because of gifts; after all gifts were removed, he still sought the Giver.

[Where Is God When It Hurts pp 89-91]

Fairness obliviates freedom. Fairness forces people to do things out of fairness and not out of love. When fairness rules, we’ve no more God to run to for mercy, grace, blessing.

  Pamela A. Chun
©October 20, 2009
Please reprint only with permission.

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 20, Day 4: The cloak of blessing

Yesterday’s post cited Paul’s Letter to the Romans, who to bless and how to bless, and specifically how to respond to evil (Romans 12:9-21). It’s very practical advice that ends with if your enemy is hungry, feed him, thirsty give him something to drink, overcome evil with good.

  Practical advice that sounds easy enough. But is it easy? I don’t think so, especially since often the people whom we consider our enemies are those whom we feel have hurt us, harmed us, left us angry, sad, and cheated.

  But it’s not only Paul who writes this. Jesus himself says:

  38"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. (Matthew 5:38-41)

  We want to say to Jesus, “It’s not fair!” If we feel hurt, why should we have to turn the other cheek? If we’ve been cheated, why should we let them cheat us more? Why can’t we just leave them alone and let them leave us alone? They already have our tunic, why give away our cloak?

  I was thinking a lot about this today because this morning, God told me how to go the extra mile with someone who stood on the other side of the fence from me, someone, to borrow Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:11, who had insult me, persecuted me and falsely said all kinds of evil against me.

  Yesterday, God asked me to bless this person and then gave me an in-your-face opportunity to do that, which I did, and which blessed me. Today, God then asked me to bless that person again—this time not with a hard to ignore immediate situation, but instead showing me the opportunity then asking me to go out of my way to take the initiative. Yesterday, he put that person directly in my path and said, “Here, bless him.” Today, he said, “Here’s another opportunity that will make you go out of your way, that will require you to track him down yourself and bless him.”

  But my cloak, Lord, my cloak! I protested, then gave it away anyway.

  And then I discovered something. After I did it, I felt good, I felt fine. In fact, I felt better than fine, I felt filled. I discovered I didn’t need my cloak! I wasn’t cold. The thing that I had held onto so tightly for years to cover me, keep me warm, be my protection, hide under, give me dignity, show me self-worth, make me blend in with everyone else…wasn’t necessary. I didn’t need it anymore – once I gave it away.

  The opportunity to bless our enemies often comes cloaked. We don’t recognize it for what it is. We think it will be hard and cost us too much, when in the end it doesn’t cost us a thing.

  Pamela A. Chun
©October 20, 2009
Please reprint only with permission.

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Who is blessed?

Matthew 5:1-12 (New International Version)

Matthew 5

The Beatitudes

 1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
 3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
      for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 4Blessed are those who mourn,
      for they will be comforted.
 5Blessed are the meek,
      for they will inherit the earth.
 6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
      for they will be filled.
 7Blessed are the merciful,
      for they will be shown mercy.
 8Blessed are the pure in heart,
      for they will see God.
 9Blessed are the peacemakers,
      for they will be called sons of God.
 10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
      for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

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Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 19, Day 3: How to Bless, Who to Bless

From Pauls’ Letter to the Romans 12:9-21 (New International Version)

9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
   "If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
      if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
   In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


Via Bible Gateway http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012:9-21&version=NIV

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Monday, October 19, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, October 18, Day 2: Unconditional Love

A light bulb went on in my head today as I was listening to yet another Francis Chan podcast, “Motivating Through Grace” [ Download from iTunes here http://ax.itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=74283811]. In it, Francis speaks of how we can live through the stress and anxieties of life because of the grace of God – and he quotes the apostle Paul’s letter to the Galatians 6:9-10 about 0:40 in:

9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people……

This, I realized, was the essence of showing unconditional love to others — not loving them in spite of the condition of their heart, but loving them in spite of the condition of my heart. Unconditional love is about loving others even when I am weary, even when I am tired, even when I am grumpy, weak, wanting, spent: loving them even when I don’t feel like loving them.

I have forever thought of unconditional love only in terms of the condition of others. I have thought that it only meant that God loves me despite my condition and therefore I should love others despite theirs: despite how imperfect they are, never mindful of their being nasty and needy, selfish and silly, forgetful and frustrating, unreasonable and unwilling, judgmental and jealous, sick and supercilious, hurt, potentially harmful, crazy, nuts, misinformed, stubborn, unthoughtful, self-centered, spiteful, cynical, depressed, critical…hard to love.

That still holds true. However, that takes the higher position of assuming that I am doing them a favor by loving them in spite of themselves.

Today, I realized that unconditional love also means loving others in spite of myself. Paul says in essence, “Are you tired? Do good anyway.” I would elaborate on that to say: Am I feeling inconvenienced, not up to it, begrudging, taken advantage of, misunderstood, drained? Am I less than willing? Love anyway. Love without regard to the condition of my heart because that is true love, God’s type of love —love that loves even when I don’t find it easy.

It’s not up to me to point out the condition of other people’s hearts. That’s called judgment. But it is up to me to love when I don’t feel like it, without condition. That’s unconditional love, and that’s grace.

Prayer and contemplation:
Who am I stopping from giving love to because I feel like it? Have I put myself on a sabbatical from love because I feel burned out from loving too much, as if that were possible? Show me, Lord, how to love unconditionally, freely, without stopping to decide if I am ready or they are worthy
. Holy Spirit, examine my heart and my intentions and free me to love despite myself.

Read the full passage and all of Paul’s letter to the Galatians here:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+6&version=TNIV

Pamela A. Chun
©October 18, 2009
Please reprint only with permission.

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Fall 2009 40-Day Fast, Day 1: Bless

Slow Down And Show Grace by Francis Chan   (16075 KB)
Listen on posterous

Today is the first day of our church’s traditional fall fast. We spend 40 days incorporating a spiritual discipline into our lives that will help us grow in God and break the fast on Thanksgiving. Some people fast from specific foods, or refrain from habits; some go cold turkey on coffee, sweets, alcohol, television, sarcasm, or buying unnecessary items. Other incorporate a new practice into their lives: finding someone in need to help every day, exercise mixed with prayer, reading a devotional or spending more time with God.

It’s become my habit to ask God what he would suggest for my fast. And this time I felt he told me to focus on blessing. Learn about what it means to bless and practice it. Bless someone everyday: someone whom I struggle to love, someone whom I have overlooked or not given that much thought to, or on a given day someone I care about deeply and want to bless even more.

I started by listening to a message by our friend Francis Chan called “Slow Down and Show Grace.” Francis is pastor of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, CA, and he speaks frequently for my nonprofit ministry Hawaiian Islands Ministries. What I love about Francis is how authentic and transparent he is about where he is on the journey with Jesus. This message really spoke to me and was one of the catalysts that pointed me to make this a 40 Day Fast of Blessing. I hope you’ll take time to listen to it, too.

First 15 min is devoted to a guest speaker. Francis’ main message begins at 0:15 in to the podcast.
If you enjoyed Francis’ message, consider subscribing to the podcast. Both audio and video versions are available on iTunes.

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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Humbled and grateful

Gosh, I’m humbled but mystified that my March 4, 2009 post, Why I Need Forgiveness, has had more than 2300 hits, with 200 in just the last week. Thank you to whomever is passing my writing along. I’m glad you’re finding it helpful on your personal journey. And if you are passing it along, uh, can you tell me who you are so I can thank you?

Pam

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Notions

There are pictures that can break my heart
And songs that make me weep
And stories of my fellow man
That bring me troubled sleep.
There are moments when my aching soul
Could wrench itself and flee
To search in new horizons
For some tranquility.
There are friend I know that give me pain
And make me relaize
A price paid for caring
That’s often sorely high
.   Vas

[My yellowed newspaper clipping that my dad sent me when I was in college.]

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Sunday, July 05, 2009

Scarred for Life

I have a scar on my chin.

I got it when I fell down when I was 12 years old. It runs along the bottom of my chin where you can’t see it. It’s almost flat but I can feel it when I rub my fingers along it, a very slight hump right at my jaw. I don’t look to see if it’s there, but I can feel it, and that’s enough.

 I got the scar while walking the dog—a bassett hound, one of those lazy looking dogs with long, draggy ears, hotdog body, short legs, sad eyes. The dog and I were coming home early evening from the park down the street, heading uphill to the house, hurrying to get to a Friday night high school football game.

The dog was on my right. We were running side-by-side straight up the sidewalk, having just crossed the street, the house maybe ten yards away—when out of nowhere a cat dashed across our path. The cat flew left, the dog followed likewise and ran in front of me. But I kept running straight ahead, tripping over the dog and leash and landing smack on my chin.

Pulling myself off the concrete in the dim evening light, I yanked the dog back and stumbled home. My dad met me in the driveway. He had just pulled his car into the garage and heard me walk up. Shook up, shocked, numb, my chin throbbing, I had no idea of how badly I was hurt until he asked what happened to me, took my head into his hands, turned my chin up, and stuck his thumb into a gaping, bloody gash.

He didn’t say much, only that he had to stitch me up. He acted quickly, without hesitation, grabbed something for the blood, and got me into his car. I don’t remember anything about the ride to the hospital, but we went straight to ER, where the nurses let my dad the orthopedic surgeon have an area to work, no questions asked. There, he cleaned the wound, filled a syringe with xylocaine, injected it into the cut with a long, sharp needle, and meticulously sewed up my chin. Then he took me to the football game.

I recall at the time being really mad at my sister (the dog was her dog, but she, being three years older and in high school, had been allowed to go ahead to the football game with her friends…while I walked the dog). I remember being mad at my mom for making we walk the dog, mad at the dog, mad at the cat, mad at the awkward bandage that encased my chin.

But I don’t think on those things anymore. The gash healed, a week later my dad took the sutures out, I stopped being angry at my sister, the dog got old and died. All that’s left is the scar, and now, years later, I realize I’m glad I have it.

The nature of scars
We all have scars – burn scars, surgical scars, disfigurements from sports injuries, motor vehicle accidents, battle scars. We also have scars from emotional wounds, injuries of the deepest kind that often go untended because no one can see them. How well the wounds heal, how well the scars form, depends on…us. It depends on whether we want to be healed, whether we allow others to help us, whether we put ourselves into the hands of a healer—or if we refuse to acknowledge we’re hurt or do things that aggravate the injury.

My dad was a healer. He had a gift for medicine and surgery. His surgical residents used to recount how precisely, neatly, and quickly he could pin a hip: good placement, firm hand, accurate strokes, clean close. Done.

But he was more than a good technician with skilled hands. He was a healer at heart who loved people and to whom God gave a spiritual gift of healing. I cannot count the number of times patients would take leave his office, tears of gratitude in their eyes, and stop and tell my sister and I at the front desk what a good man our father was. I’ve no idea what he said to them, not being privy to doctor-patient conversations, but seeing the relief on his patients’ faces told me he didn’t just set fractures and repair meniscus tears, but went beyond to touch something deeper than bone and sinew. As a trained physician, he was taught to observe and listen in order to heal; and as a healer with God’s eyes and ears he saw and heard more than physical pain.

Not just what we do but who we are
My dad helped show me that the gift of healing is not just what we do, but who we are. It’s easy to put a Band-Aid on a cut, or throw an icepack on a muscle, or tape a finger to a splint. The human body is made to heal, regenerate blood, grow new tissue. But what is not easy is taking the time to look beyond the obvious presented symptoms, to touch, to care, to listen to those who hurt for what really pains them, to see what lies beneath their eyes, and then to walk alongside and help them invite God The Healer to do the rest.

Healing is God’s territory. It’s what He wants to do, it’s what He does best. He does it because He loves us. He wants to pick us off the ground and mend the gaping holes, rout out the infection, reset our broken bones and restore our crushed spirit. He wants to help us move freely with strength, show us how to use muscles to their best capacity, run farther, jump higher, sprint faster, and breath His air.

The prophet Isaiah so magnificently writes:

      [28] Have you not known?
      Have you not heard?
      The everlasting God, the LORD,
      The Creator of the ends of the earth,
      Neither faints nor is weary.
      His understanding is unsearchable.
      [29] He gives power to the weak,
      And to those who have no might He increases strength.
      [30] Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
      And the young men shall utterly fall,
      [31] But those who wait on the LORD
      Shall renew their strength;
      They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
      They shall run and not be weary,
      They shall walk and not faint.  [Isaiah 40:28-31, New King James version]

This is a picture of healing, a picture of wholeness that becomes our experience when we turn our heads to recognize the Creator God. And we who have experienced His healing and strength are often called, always called to be the connection points that show how much God desires to give this extraordinary healing to every person that He has created and loves.

That’s what I love about my scar.
My scar reminds me not that I was wounded but that I was healed. It is a tattoo of my father’s love, that although he passed away in 2006, shall forever remain a tangible remnant, an indelible mark of his healing touch and imprint on my life.

Scarred for life
It has also become a metaphor for me for what all scars should be – reminders of a healing and not a recollection of a hurt. I believe that God can and wants to do that for all of our hurts, the one’s bleeding and visible, and the ones buried and painfully immobilizing: He wants to see us walk in wholeness. He desires to change us with His healing. He wants to scar us for life with His love.

Pamela A. Chun
©July 5, 2009
Please reprint only with permission.

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Saturday, June 13, 2009

One sentence on Being a Christian

Being a Christian for me means having a relationship with Jesus Christ  in which his is the most important voice in my life.

This working definition is a personal statement that attempts to describe how I live my life as a Christian – a  follower of Jesus Christ – devoid of jargon. This is a work in progress, just as I am.

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

What delights me

A friend asked me today what I like. That prompted me to think about what I not just “like,” but what delights me – gives me joy on the inside. I came up with this list:

I delight in sitting around a meal table with my husband and our kids and talking together.
I delight in a good cappuccino.
I delight in a beautiful day on San Francisco Bay: blue skies, bit of wind, Golden Gate Bridge visibility.
I delight in friends who share Jesus’ heart with me.
I delight in hearing God speak to me – whichever way he chooses to speak.
I delight in being used by God.
I delight in having my children’s friends over at the house.
I delight in crafting a well-written piece.
I delight in deep, meaningful conversation.
I delight in the love of my children.
I delight in a good, long swim in a full Olympic-size pool, water temp 72°F, without time constraints.
I delight in spring mornings, particularly in the Bay Area.
I delight in the sight and sound of Hawaii’s oceans and its cool tradewinds.
I delight in farmers markets and Chinatowns.
I delight in fragrant pikake and roses.
I delight in walks with my husband.

It’s kind of like a “Favorite Things” list – I may find myself adding more. Having any one of those things in a day would make me extremely happy. Today I got at least 7 of them.

The apostle Paul writes in Philippians 4:8:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

What things do you think on that bring you delight?

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Sunday, March 08, 2009

Stewardship Buzz | Lent Blog Post

Stewardship has long been a buzz word in the church.
We use the word stewardship to talk about how we appropriate our gifts, our resources – all that we have, from our money in the bank to the muscles in our back.

Wikipedia sums up the term and its history nicely:

Stewardship is personal responsibility for taking care of another person's property or financial affairs or in religious orders taking care of finances. Historically, stewardship was the responsibility given to household servants to bring food and drinks to a castle dining hall. The term was then expanded to indicate a household employee's responsibility for managing household or domestic affairs. Stewardship later became the responsibility for taking care of passengers' domestic needs on a ship, train and airplane, or managing the service provided to diners in a restaurant. The term continues to be used in these specific ways, but it is also used in a more general way to refer to a responsibility to take care of something one does not own. "Every person has a responsibility to look after the planet both for themselves and for the future generations. Acting irresponsibly could cause damage such as pollution, the destruction of cultural herritage, etc." [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stewardship]

The concept behind stewardship puts us basically in the role of manager and not proprietor.

For me, it’s honestly a psychological ploy or maybe even sly euphemism to get us to let go of what we’ve got. In other words, if we are stewards, we have the “privilege” of serving it up, opening the gates, regulating the flow, deciding the course with everything in an outward direction.

Jesus drove in points about stewardship in his teachings. In the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25:14-28 he addresses how a wise steward ought to invest the master’s wealth with intent of increasing the principle. The man given five talents of money doubles his money, as does the man given two talents – and the master commends them for this. But the man with one talent buries it in the ground, and receives no appreciation on the money, nor any from his master.

Interestingly, quite the opposite in the Parable of the Shrewd Manager [Luke 16:1-15], Jesus offers up the story of a manager accused of poor stewardship but whom the master in the end commends even though it yields a net financial loss. The short story is that on the eve of potentially losing his job, the manager strips a debt of 800 gallons of olive oil owed the master to 400. He reduces another man’s 1000 bushels of wheat owed to 800. Jesus makes his teaching point this:

The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.

With these and other Biblical passages as backdrop, my language for talking about money has always used the “S” word – Stewardship. And the questions revolving around money and resource issues, challenges…okay, procurement, have prodded conversations about use and management philosophies.

However, I’ve got another problem.
I’ll say it blankly. My struggles with Stewardship—how much, to whom, when, how—are really not so much Stewardship issues but Ownership issues.

I struggle not because I am a Steward, but because deep down inside I believe I’m the OWNER.
Sure, I say all that I have is yours, Lord—but I say it with an attitude of it’s still mine and I’m giving it back to you. Maybe it was yours in the beginning, but I took ownership of it and, honestly, I kind of liked it, and now in good conscious because I know it’s the proper thing to do, I am giving it back to you. Some of it. The part I don’t need. The portion that makes me feel good when I generously give. But not all of it. Only what I can afford to give away, but I’m saving the rest for Me.

I am giving. I have control. I have will. I have choice. I have responsibility. I am making the decision. Someday if I’ve done a good job, I’ll be commended for it. I, I, I.

Why am I so possessive? Why do I want to exact so much control? Is it a lack of trust? Or perhaps my relationship with God isn't what I thought. And maybe I don’t understand my need and my fears.

Maybe I just need to stop thinking of myself as owner.
What would happen if I signed away all my possessions to God? Everything, the small stuff as well as the big: My car, my clothes, the laundry detergent I use to wash my clothes. The hours in my day, my quiet time with God. My skills and education, my work experience. The food I eat, the parties I attend, the music I listen to. The Internet. The tea I bought in China last year, the pants that I say God bought for me. My diamond engagement ring, the heirloom jade passed down to me from my grandmother. The roads and highways, the traffic signal, everything city, county, state, and federal. My creative work, my words, this writing.

And if not owner, what? A tenant, renter, user, borrower? A leech? Or how about a different view altogether

Am I afraid of poverty?
Tonight we had dinner with Rafonzel Fazon, a young woman, 21 years old who came from the poorest of the poor areas in the Philippines. She became a Compassion International sponsored child when she was five, supported, fed, educated, encouraged by a sponsor in the U.S. whom she has never met. She is now working towards her bachelor’s degree in communications and in a special program that pays for her college tuition while continuing to nurture her as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

She said that when she was little she used to be so hungry and would worry every day what she might get to eat. Every day she worried about a meal. But through the Compassion program that works to “release children from poverty in Jesus’ name,” she worries no more.

She says this: Poverty is the fear that you will not have enough. But because I know that Jesus is taking care of all my needs, I do not fear anymore. That, she says is being released from poverty.

I need to reconsider my perspective.
Do I fear that I will not have enough? Do I fear that God will not have enough for me, so I stash some on the side?

In Jesus’ parables mentioned above, the first one talks about multiplication. It demonstrates an investment of resources that yields way more than the principle: two- and five-fold. That’s a pretty high return, and because of that master invites the servants to "share in his happiness." The second one speaks of divestment that wins friends and a place in eternity. In both parables, the stewards use their masters’ money, and in both, except for the servant who makes neither money nor friends, they are rewarded handsomely.

The point? It’s not mine to have, not mine to own and if I try to own things, they will own me. A purchase does not make it mine, only mine to use and pass on.

Jesus says in Mark 8:35-36: For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?

+ + +
LORD, help me to not make a claim on my own life. Help me to not look for ownership papers that make things “mine.” Help me to see your generosity and your genius and to trust in you. Remake me yet again in your Holy Spirit, and release me from the poverty of fear. In Jesus’ name.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Why I Need Forgiveness | March 4, 2009 blog post


Let’s put the emphasis right here and now on need—as opposed to ought to consider, or may come in handy, or try it you’ll like it. The statement at hand is Why I Need Forgiveness, and every word counts.
 
Growing up Catholic, and if I may say a pretty good little Catholic girl, the Forgiveness lesson/principle wasn’t clear to me. No one quite explained it to me. Maybe I wasn’t bad enough; or maybe I didn’t want to be good enough, or maybe the adults around me felt too guilty themselves.
 
Or maybe Confession just took care of all that, thank you very much.
 
I remember having to go to Confession at least once a year because that’s what you did. We waited outside the triple chamber confession booth for our turns, the middle chamber occupied by the priest and the two flanking ones for us hardened sinners. A little red light above the door lintel of the priest’s chamber served as a high tech signal for “The Priest Is In.”
 
We fidgeted in the hard wooden pews amid the solemn cold of the church hearing only whispers and shuffles and the occasional cough-cough-cough. Then someone would escape a confessional box, and my sisters and I would negotiate “You go, no you go! Once inside, we’d kneel in the dark, unlit interior, and suddenly the small grate to the priest’s side would slide open so you knew: okay, let’s hear it, spill your guts.
 
I didn’t like going to Confession. I really didn’t know what to say: I was mean to my sister? I didn’t have any grave errors or omissions to report. Hadn’t stolen or killed anyone lately. What were those 10 Commandments anyway? I was a pretty good kid, but I had to give up something. The whole reason I was there was to ‘fess up. So I’d mumble something, and the priest would assign me 1 Act of Contrition, 3 Hail Mary’s and a Glory Be. He probably thought I was “cute.” No, I was scared.
 
My parents stopped making us go to Confession when we got to be older. It was enough that we made it to Mass in time. But Jesus hung on the cross behind every Catholic altar; he was kind of hard to miss. And I still felt compelled with the raising of the Eucharist and Cup at Communion to pound my chest with my fist three times reciting, “My Lord and my God. My Lord and my God. My Lord and my God.”
 
The question never left: What do I need forgiveness for?
 
As a young adult, my born-again Protestant friend confronted me about what I believed about God, Jesus, and why Jesus had to die—for me. The light went on for the first time. Jesus died so that I who am wholly human can have a relationship with God who is holy divine. The terrestial could mix with the heavenly; sin would not prevent me from approaching the sacred. What was in me that hurt others, hurt myself, hurt God—things I thought, did, felt, said would not permanently mar, but would be erased, forgiven. My years in cold, hard pews now made sense.
 
Forgiveness as a Survival Skill
However, in recent days, forgiveness has taken on a different depth, understanding, and even urgency. I am discoveringi that beyond the theoretical, philosophical, theological, I need to practice forgiveness so I can continue to live in this world.

Relationships fail us. People fail us. And that’s why I need forgiveness. It’s not a question of if something will go wrong, but when. We are just not perfect enough to prevent that from happening, intentionally or not.
 
I may not be the chief sinner. On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the most despicable, I-dare-you-to-forgive sin that includes murder, rape, genocide, torture, I sit pretty low. Not much has changed for this little Catholic girl.
 
And yet, if I do not, cannot forgive those whom I feel fail, betray, dishonor, ignore, hurt me, I will slowly shrink away. I will withdraw from relationships, refuse to interact, not have the strength to give relationships another try because I know failure is just around the corner. I will in short turn cold, allow my heart to harden, become less human.
 
I can only live amid the imperfectedness of this life through forgiveness.

In an email to my husband the other day as part of their ongoing dialogue about matters of faith, one of our daughter's friend quoted his Northwestern University professor Susanne Sklar as writing this:
 
If the Religion of Jesus is "Forgiveness of Sin" as [18th Century writer, poet, painter William] Blake says it is— then what might be called "imperfection" is part of the art form. We all sculpt space and time to create a world in which forgiveness is the animating or structuring principle. Space and time are ingredients with which we CREATE.

Creation is dynamic—it's beautiful and it may be fallible. But that's all right. Because the highest art form is forgiveness.  That creates a space for more love. And love is not merely an emotion.

Nail on the head, or maybe quite vividly—to the cross. Jesus’ whole life spoke, demonstrated, practiced, and taught forgiveness. It’s what he lived by and what he died for. Even as he was dying, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." [Luke 23:34]
 
Did Jesus say this only because the people who crucified him had done wrong? Was it only because they needed forgiveness? Or perhaps is it what I’m discovering: that unforgiveness creates havoc in me. I need to forgive for my sake, not others’. I simply cannot exist, let alone co-exist with others if I am carrying away the crushing weight of hurt. And as Susanne  Sklar says, when I do forgive, I create space—space for more love, and love validates my existence. As Paul the apostle wrote, “If I…have not love, I am nothing.” [1 Cor 13:2]
 
Creating space for love.
It’s hard to forgive. I’ve spent a lifetime learning how to do it, learning that I must do it, learning that it takes time and process to do it. It can be pretty painful. But it’s far worse to not forgive. However, Jesus can take away the pain when we give over to him the wrongs and injustices. He will carry it away, and in its place, he will create a space for love.
 
 

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Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Waking March 2, 2009


I really like this description of coming to a life with Jesus by N.T. Wright in his book Simply Christian [http://books.google.com/books?id=7fanGwAACAAJ&dq=NT+Wright&source=an&hl=en&ei=2_-sSZPPEpmMsQOs9sTOBA&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=6&ct=result]. He writes on pp 204-205:
 
What happens when you wake up in the morning?
 
            For some people, waking up is a rude and shocking experience. Off goes the alarm, and they jump in fright, dragged out of a deep sleep to face the cold, cruel light of day.
 
            For others, it’s a quiet, slow process. They can be half-asleep and half-awake, not even sure which is which, until gradually, eventually, without any shock or resentment, they are happy to know that another day has begun.
 
            Most of us know something of both, and a lot in between.
 
            Waking up offers one of the most basic pictures of what can happen when God take s a hand in someone’s life.
 
            There are classic, alarm-clock stories. Saul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus, blinded by a sudden light, stunned an speechless, discovered that the God he had worshipped had revealed himself in the crucified and risen Jesus of Nazareth. John Wesley found his heart becoming strangely warm, and he never looked back. They and a few others are the famous ones, but there are millions more.
 
            And there are many stories, though they don’t hit the headlines in the same way, of the half-awake and half-asleep variety. Some people take months, years, maybe even decades, during which they aren’t sure whether they’re on the outside of Christian faith looking in, or on the inside looking around to see if it’s real.
 
            As with ordinary waking up, there are many people who are somewhere in between. But the point is that there’s such a thing as being asleep, and there’s such a thing as being awake. And it’s important to tell the difference, and to be sure you’re awake by the time you have to be up and ready for action, whatever that action may be.
 
 
           I love N.T. Wright’s recognition that everyone’s experience of having God abide in their lives is not prescriptive but full of variety. It’s also personal.
 
            I look at my life as a gradual, continual waking-up. When I first woke up to the desire of wanting Jesus to be a part of my life for the rest of my life 30 years ago, in one very real sense, everything suddenly became more real than ever.  I saw more, heard more, felt more. And not a day goes by that my senses are not sharpened even more and my mind awakened even more.
 
            At the same time, that experience was part of a process, a longer experience of being exposed and introduced to God as far back as I could remember. Never was God was an impossibility, a myth or lie.
 
            The thing, as N.T. Wright points out, is that when I woke up as college-age adult, I could tell the difference. I had crossed a line, switched into a new dimension of consciousness and reality within a world I thought I already knew.
 
            The current global economic crisis calls for similar: a wake up to a new reality. May it even be a spiritual one.

 
 

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Sunday, March 01, 2009

More Thoughts on Powerlessness February 28, 2009


Feelings of powerlessness come when we feel empty, when we feel the life has been sucked out of us, when we feel completely unable to effect change, when we feel spent and that no one values our life.
 
This is how Elijah the prophet felt. After confronting, defeating, and killing the false prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18. We read in 1 Kings 19.3-5:
 
Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.

We all have deserts we run to, some place we hide, far away where no one can find us. It can be a physical place, it can be a state of mind, it can be in the stupor of alcohol or durgs. It can even be among people where we put on a façade under whose thick layers the real us lies.
 
We know we have reached the place of utter loss when we hear ourselves saying, “I don’t care. I have no strength to care.” As Elijah said, “I have had enough, take my life,” and then lies down lifeless.
 
The story of Elijah offers such a good example to people whose buckets have drained out. With no power left, having spent it all, Elijah feels like an empty, shriveled vessel. The spirit that drove him lies as flat and listless as worn, uninflated balloon.
 
How does one recover except by waiting, resting, and keeping our windows cracked for the light, gentle touch of God.
 
Read all of 1 Kings 19 carefully. After Elijah lies down, God sends an angel to awaken him, touching him, and then just feeding him. It’s just food, not a command or vision or expectation, but a little fresh cake and water. After that, Elijah lies down and goes back to sleep.
 
He reminds me of my sons who become listless and unresponsive when sick. And that’s it: Elijah is soul and spirit sick. He had stood up to 850 false prophets in a spectacular match in which fire came down from the heavens to consume an impossible wet mound of sacrificial offering, and then he had them, in the words of the Bible, “slaughtered.” The episode ends with Jezebel sending death threats to him. How could he not feel sick to his stomach?
 
Like a loving parent, God knows his servant has nothing left, and He loves Elijah nonetheless. Can we remember that? That God loves us because He just does—and not for what we can do or have done for him? The Lord looks lovingly on us and does not push us on. Sometimes he just lets us rest without saying a word.
 
After letting Elijah rest, God feeds him again, this time saying, “Get up and eat for the journey is too much for you.” God sends Elijah on a journey and he provides the strength to do it.
 
God provides the means for the way…the way to Him because Elijah’s journey takes him to Mount Horeb, “the mountain of God” (1 Kings 19:8), the place where Moses received from the Ten Commandments from God. Here, Elijah also encounters God, but it is a curious interaction.
 
God asks Elijah, “What are you doing here?” He asks Elijah this twice, and I don’t think God poses this as either rhetorical or redundant but truly one that He wants Elisha to answer. And here’s where I find it curious. Elijah answers the question, “What are you doing here” with what he has done, and he gives the same answer both times:
He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."  1Kings 19:10 and 14.
I believe Elijah answers in this way the first time because he simply doesn’t know why he is there – so he tells God about what he has done, the condition of his life, and the loneliness of his existence. “I am the only one left.”
 
God’s answer is amazing. He answers by showing Elijah his presence – but God’s presence does not look like what Elijah thinks. He is not in powerful winds, earthquakes or fires. God is not in things that look destructive and are overpowering. Instead, God is in a gentle whisper.
 
And isn’t that what we all want to hear, a gentle whisper? We want a voice that penetrates our heart and touches the intimate parts of our soul and says, “I hear you, I understand you, I love you. My power does not overpower and destroy you or suck the life out of you. My power, my presence is a voice that validates your existence.”
 
What happens when God asks the question again, “What are you doing here?” is that Elijah answers exactly the same as before – this time not because he doesn’t know what to say but because he understands that he has been called to a cause that God will empower. And because of that, Elijah in the end can undertake God’s mission to go to the Desert of Damascus and anoint a king for him as well as Elijah’s successor, Elisha.
 
The answer to powerlessness is perhaps not to seek to be refilled with what we were emptied of, but to continually discover where and what true power is. What I am learning is that true power gives life by saying in a gentle whisper, “You count.”
 
We rob people and make them powerlessness when we say or indicate to them that they do not count.
 
Can we make our challenge this Lent to listen for God’s whisper, and hearing him can we whisper into the hearts of others?
 
 
 

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Thoughts on Powerlessness, February 27, 2009


Even long-time followers of Jesus experience down turns, depression, deflated spirits.  We don’t talk openly about it because we live in a church culture where we erroneously believe that we should always possess and exhibit a “more than conquerors” attitude.
 
But it’s not true.
 
If you ask even the most mature of believers, if you ask a church leader, a pastor, or anyone whose commitment to following Jesus extends 20, 30, 40 years – if you ask them if they have ever felt despair, wanted to throw in the towel, and on the edge of giving up hope, their honest answer will likely be an admitted yes.
 
Life is hard, and sometimes it grinds us to the bone to the point where we don’t want to get up. We feel that we have gotten up too many times, and this time we’re just too tired to make an effort – and even if we did, would anyone notice or care.
 
“Heresy, lies, lack of faith” you may cry out. “Pray more, spend more time reading and studying scripture – could it be that you have unconfessed sin that is rearing its nasty head?”
 
Oftentimes, most times, praying. Immersing yourself in the Word of God, and seeking godly counsel from others does work and lift us back to a level of feeling invincible.
 
However, it doesn’t happen all the time, and  for this purpose:

God wants us to experience powerlessness.

He does it for several reasons:
1.    He wants to help us identify with the powerless of the world—the people without resources, access, advocates—people who see no hope and, therefore, can project no future—so that we will have greater compassion for them.
 
Look at the people whom Jesus lifted up: the lame, blind, disease, possessed, suppressed and oppressed. Jesus went those whom others ostracized and told them, “You have value to me, and I love you so much that I am going to take away your shame.” He did this for blind Bartimaeus, the woman at the well, the woman accused of adultery, people whom others not only pushed way outside of their circle, but pushed down again and again.
 
2.    He wants to cut our ties to false power, to things that cannot fill or last so that we can receive more of His Power.
 
God does not want our lives charged by an inferior power—only by His power that created the world and created us. It’s the bottom rung of the 12 Step Program of Alcoholics Anonymous where we feel powerless to change ourselves. Up until then we have been trying to change ourselves through wrong measures, and instead of being empowered we get fried.
Before Jesus ascended into heaven, he told his disciples, “I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high." (Luke 24:49)
 
3.    He wants us to serve and love others.

Serving one another has less to do with doing, and more to do with caring.
 
Time for bed right now. More thoughts tomorrow.

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Friday, February 27, 2009

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Lent begins again. With Lent, I feel compelled to once again take a spiritual journey with words and blog.
 
So, if you followed me on the last 40 day fast in the fall…I’m Backkkk! And I’m warning you ahead of time that this ride may feel different. This isn’t Disneyland. This is Life.
 
[Prayer]
Lord, help me to listen with everything I’ve got—not just to hear you, but to hear others. Because when I hear others and what they’re really saying beyond the fragile, futile words, I validate them. They become real and not just passersby or extras in the film of life.
 
Give me ears that can bear to hear what they are truly saying. When I listen that way, I begin to hear what you hear. That’s a lot of noise.
 
When my ears are opened, however, maybe my eyes will be opened, too.
 

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Growth Stinks


Growth Stinks

“What is that smell?”  What I could only liken to the reek of rotting fish passed through the kitchen. It made its mark again when I opened the closet and send me rummaging through the canned goods I was prepared to find the worst.
 
Nothing. No bad tins, leaking bottles, molding dry good. I sniffed at the shiny, new cans of wild salmon bought earlier that day – a possible culprit among them? I turned over the solid white albacore, the organic whole tomatoes, and funky Chinese dried foods. Good news, bad news: nothing rotting, no oozing putrid guck. Still the smell.
 
The unconscionable stink came and went throughout the evening, me taking intermittent inhalations into the kitchen trash can, fruitless each time. I considered the neighbors, who at this time of year would be firing up their wood-burning cooker for annual Chinese New Year glutinous rice cakes (gow). I blamed it on the trash that this week now piled up for once-only pickups instead of the former, better twice-weekly sanitation collection. And I thought of the New York nuns who recently filed suit against their upstairs Asian condo neighbors for “vomit-like smells” coming from their flat.
 
Yechhhh! The breeze blew in once more through the kitchen windows and I was overcome with the stench. “It smells like manure!” I commented to my son. That’s when he said, “Oh yeah, Dad put fertilizer on the plants.”
 
Manure
Stinky stuff, excrement, manure is the stuff that helps plants grow, and like it or not it’s what helps people grow too. As Romans 8:28 reminds us, “in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” ALL things—the waste, the fall-out, the leftovers, the offal and dung. God is the master recycler who sees to it that nothing is for naught and everything can be used to grow His kingdom in our hearts.
 
One of the sayings I’ve adopted the last couple years is: People learn at others’ expense. Their mistakes happen to us, affect us, create havoc for us. Nothing happens in a vacuum, especially life, which means that, yes, bad things happen to good people. Or as the saying goes, sh*t happens.
 
So what? With God’s help and perspective, take the crap and use it for fertilizer. Do the unthinkable—embrace it and say, ”Growth stinks.” Don’t let the others’ waste, waste you. [Point of reference: scene in Slumdog Millionaire.]
 
If we want to become better, wiser, stronger, gentler, more peaceful, better balanced, compassionate, insightful, better humored, loved and loving people—get used to the stinky smells, willingly walk through the manure, and even for a time live in it.
 
That doesn’t mean succumbing to it or becoming like it, but benefiting from it. If we can learn to take the nutrients that get cooked up in the chemical cocktail that is excrement, we will be better for it. We will grow, we will stand taller, firmer, deeper and stretch out our arms to provide shade and counsel to others.
 
Stink takes courage
You gotta hold your nose sometimes. We all find ourselves in situations where conditions are unbearable, where things have gotten so bad that they have begun to rot. However, even in the worst of times, maybe especially at the bottom of the mulching pit, when we turn to God and give it over to Him, he will show us how to use it for good, for growth.
 
The apostle Paul writes about this in 2 Corinthians 2:14-16, saying:
Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life.
 
God’s work, Christ’s central, defining act, was to bring life from death. He overpowers the stink of decay with “knowledge of him” and triumphantly transforms fallen seed into fragrant blossoms that bear fruit.
 
Courage is not just having a stiff upper lip.
Do not be mistakened: Courage is not about strength or will, it is about heart. The root of the word courage comes from the Latin word cor meaning heart. Courage rises from the heart—and for believers from a heart nestled with Jesus who wants us to do the good that gives the heart peace and does not divide it.
 
Courage does mean doing the hard thing, and at times taking the path of most resistance but the one that finally breaks through the barriers that keep us small, root-bound, less than what we are meant to be.
 
What are we smelling?
Is it rotting fish or fertilizer? An augur of death or the prelude to growth? Do we sniff demise? Or like farmers who constantly turn over the earth in the business of growth do we quiver with the pungent possibility of beginning again in fertile soil?

 

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Christmas


Always winter and never Christmas. Those are the conditions in the land of Narnia in the opening chapters of C. S. Lewis’s The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Narnia lies under the spell of the White Witch who keeps Narnia under a blanket of snow and perpetual winter.
 
I never understood what that meant until this Christmas. Maybe never having lived in snow I can’t conceive the cold to the marrow effects of forever frost. Perhaps knowing that the story would have a good ending, I pre-anticipated that Christmas would come and discounted Narnia’s winter as a temporary condition. Perhaps in my many, always recurring, never failing annual experiences of Christmas, I could never fathom a world without Christmas.
 
This Christmas, however, was different. I found myself living in a metaphorical Narnia where I longed for Christmas but somehow wasn’t so sure it would come.
 
Sure, there were ample signs of its coming: sparkling lights, festive trees, wreath, cards, carols, nativity scenes, and ample reminders of how many shopping days until Christmas. But I was not looking for the day, December 25th, which would inescapably come with the turn of a calendar page. I was looking for The Coming, Jesus’s coming
 
It wasn’t the feast of Christmas I needed, but the feel of Christ. Not the fact of Christmas, but the face of Christ. Not the pageantry of camels and magi, stars and stable, shepherds, flocks, frankincense, gold, and myrrh—but the power of God intersecting, interjecting, interrupting and restarting the world with the life of Jesus Christ.
 
No calendar, merchant, newspaper, government official or even religious leader could make that happen.
 
In the spirit of giving, we have made Christmas more about others and less about Christ. Even as Christians, we fall prey to commandeering Christmas into a show for the world, a proclamation of “our” truth, and an extravagant witness to the fact of Jesus. We politicize and, dare I say, betray the Christ Child, portraying him less the prophet and more a puppet manipulated by clumsy, willful, self-interested human hands.
 
With the best intentions, followers of Jesus talk about putting Christ back into Christmas. But it’s not as easy or simple as laying Baby Jesus in the manger of a nativity scene. That’s not our job, just as it wasn’t our job to bring Jesus into the world the first time.
 
We are powerless when it comes to Christmas. Our pocketbook and those who want a piece of it would make us believe different. However, we cannot make Christmas; only God can. It was His from the beginning. We can decorate around it, name it a holy holiday, add a artificial lights, and pile on traditions and expectations—but we cannot bring Christ into the world, not others’ worlds or even our own. We can only invite him in and wait—wait for God to birth him in our lives and transform the barren cold of winter into Christmas.
 
That’s what I waited for this year. I tried to do so without expectation so that God would have His way and not me, mine. And Christ came at God’s appointed time, not just at the ringing of a bell or human passing of time. He turned on the lights once more, reentering my world with new life amid infinite hallelujahs of angels and in glory.
 
 

Come Thou Long Expected Jesus
Come thou long-expected Jesus,
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.
 
Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a Child and yet a King.
Born to reign in us for ever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
 
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all-sufficient merit
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Loud & Clear


Merry Christmas!

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Christmas Catharsis


Bah Humbug! It’s the season to fight off my Scroogeness. I’m ‘fessing up. Do I see any other hands?
 
In the days before Christmas I constantly battle the bah-humbugs! Every year I feel pressured by expectations that are not Christmas. I revolt against traditions for the sake of tradition. Is Christmas supposed to stress me out? How real am I really if I have to forcibly maintain the merry and cheery when I am feeling weary and leery?
 
The clincher is no one wants to be accused of being Scrooge
I battle the sorry stereotype that anyone who lodges a complaint, whimpers a worry, just doesn’t feel up to it, not now, not this year, not that, has been seriously scrooged.
 
I fear that if I don’t show appropriate fa-la-la-la-la someone will say, “What happened to your Christmas Spirit?” I’ll be scorned and branded. Brainwashed by songs like It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Have a Holly Jolly Christmas, Winter Wonderland, Jingle Bell Rock, and It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas, I feel knuckled every time I’m not having a holly, jolly holiday rocking through a winter wonderland.
 
Am I a frugal, stingy, no-joy, kill Santa who ought to be tied to an armchair to watch The Muppets’ Christmas Carol? (Not a bad idea–love that move.) I’m not against gifts, Christmas trees, lights, wreaths, parties, or even fruitcakes. I like waking up Christmas morning with half-dressed family members to unwrap presents around the tree. I just don’t like feeling forced to do Christmas as dictated by someone else.
 
Sometimes I get the feeling that someone stole Christmas and it’s not the Grinch.
Or maybe, I let it slip through my fingers. Perhaps I let it go. In the spirit of “love and joy come to you and to you a wassail too,” I have complied with the laws of tolerance, political correctness, and what’s true for me doesn’t have to be true for you. Let’s not offend anyone. I call it Christmas, you call it Hanukah, they call it Kwanzaa. Hey, peace on earth, let’s all call it “the holiday season.”
 
Can we just call the whole thing off? Bah humbug, Mr. Scrooge!
Or let’s just make sure that everyone has their choice of prophets and get on with it:
 
Door Number 1: Allah
Door Number 2: Buddha
Door Number 3: Joseph Smith
Door Number 4: L. Ron Hubbard
Door Number 5: Whomever Oprah’s following this week
Door Number 6: Satan
Door Number 7: Jesus
Door Number 8: Nobody because Nobody’s there

But that’s not Christmas
We should practice religious tolerance—literally tolerate others’ different religious beliefs. You can’t make people believe anything anyway: we all have to choose. But Christmas. Christmas is different.

Jesus IS the reason for the season, and Christ is in Christmas, and maybe the discomfort I feel, the frustration and my Scroogness is my fault. I have succumbed. I have surrendered. I have laid down my holy reverence for what Christmas really is and have let the holiday train steamroll me back and forth jingling it’s ho-ho-ho bells until I am as poor and crippled as Tiny Tim.
 
Christmas revolution
I’m not calling for a revolution of anywhere except my heart and my actions. I have to take back Christmas – not for others, not for the world, not for Jesus. But for myself.
 
Why? Because I do know the reason for the season. I know the story in history. And I know my story about why I honor the baby born in tiny Bethlehem to a virgin girl engaged to a clueless but faithful man. I know that hardly anyone knew the first Christmas was worth celebrating —some uneducated shepherds, some astrologists from out of town, some angels who descended from on high. No one hung wreaths, or made eggnog, or decorated cookies, or created any holiday sales.
 
And I know that I celebrate Christmas because Jesus Christ’s coming signified the end of the end and the beginning of the beginning. Jesus changed everything forever. He did what only the Son of God could do—collapse the unfathomable Creator of the limitless Universe, all his power, all his being, all his extraordinariness into a man who came to live among us with the sole purpose of telling us how much he loves us.
 
I have to do Christmas in ways that don’t pay someone to keep the holiday spirit but replay the original story of Jesus coming into the world—and how that has made all the difference in my world.
 
I need to change my playlist from Merry Christmas to Mary Had a Baby. From It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas to It Came Upon a Midnight Clear. And I have to let Christmas carols ring in my ears:

Hark the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled"
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"
 
Christ by highest heav'n adored
Christ the everlasting Lord!
Late in time behold Him come
Offspring of a Virgin's womb
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see
Hail the incarnate Deity
Pleased as man with man to dwell
Jesus, our Emmanuel
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"
 
Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings
Ris'n with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

I have to not think about Scrooge.
Scrooge was a fictional character. I am haunted by the Scrooges of Christmas past, present, and future, and I need to close the book on him, pull the plug, let him take a backseat to the main character in the one and only Christmas story – Jesus's birth.
 
 And I have talk about Jesus
It’s my choice to talk to people about Christmas and not about “the holiday season.” It’s okay to see retail stores’ decorations for what they are—bait for bringing in the bucks. It’s my prerogative to seek to enjoy Christmas for what it is, and not for what it isn’t. It should be my joy to rightfully make Christmas the opportunity to share about my Savior—and not apologize for it.
 
So, bah-humbug, Mr. Scrooge. You’ve been scrubbed.

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Who Turned the Lights On?


Bad weather today.
 
We’re having the first winter storm. Heavy sheets of rain drench everything, pouring off roofs, spewing out of gutters, turning yards into lakes. Wild sluices rampage down the mountainsides, drowning valley streams, issuing flash floods. In the high water streets, cars move like boats piloted by novice captains. Rogue gusts push people around, deform umbrellas, and deface clothes. Outside is one big soggy mess. Thankfully, inside it’s dry, calm, safe.
 
However, every once in a while, the lights flicker and sometimes we lose power completely for a few seconds. During the day, recovery amounts to the simple but irritating task of resetting every blinking digital clock—bed stand clock radio, TV, stovetop, microwave.
 
But night is a different story. In the few moments of utter darkness my slow processing mind goes from “Who turned off the lights” to “I think we’re having a power outage” to “Omigod, I can’t see!” Neurotic people like my husband station flashlights in every room of our house for just that reason. Non-neurotic (stupidly stubborn) people like me grope blindly in the dark trying to remember if the strategically placed flashlight was there or there—and then yell for help.
 
Few of us in this day and age experience pitch black. We have become accustomed to having light at all times of day. A flick of the switch, or even a flip of a cell phone, and we feel like God on the first day of Creation (And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. Genesis 1:3)
 
Used to be that when the sun went down, people stayed in. Now the setting sun is met by the twinkling start up of city lights. Cities change persona after dark. The dirt so obvious in broad daylight blends into the shadows while high above, skyscrapers dress the skyline like women in sequined gowns. Ablaze in electrifying trim, they become titillating, tantalizing, glamorous, glittering, gaudy spectacles in the night sky. New York’s Times Square, Tokyo’s Ginza, The Bund in Shanghai and Hong Kong Harbor, Paris, Rio de Janeiro, and the Queen herself, Las Vegas call out, “Look at me!” and defy the darkness.
 
But what happens when the lights go out? What if all the lights went out? What if they didn’t come back on for a very long time? And what if the thank-God-you’re-neurotic-I-love-you-because-you’re-crazy neurotic’s flashlights began to fail us?
 
Well, that’s kind of what happened in the 400 years between the end of the Old Testament prophets’ writings and the coming of Jesus Christ – an era known as “the intertestamental period.”
 
There were no electric lights to go out, but the Word of God, the voice of God through his prophets that had illuminated people’s lives, guided them, offered hope in shadowy situations, that had said there is still a way, my way, when you can’t see two feet in front of you—the sound of comfort and exhortation, promise, a future and hope—went out, went silent, dark, blank. A long, uninterrupted nothing.

For 400 years, God was silent. He sent no prophets, crazy as they appeared, who did weird things like walk around naked (Isaiah 20), eat bread baked with cow dung (Ezekiel 4), take back his promiscuous wife multiple times (Hosea), survive the belly of a whale for three days (Jonah), or build a great, big boat for two of every living creature (Noah).
 
For 400 years, the lights went out on the world. There was no new news from God, no word of encouragement, no reminder of His promise that He would someday send a Messiah to save the world from utter darkness. Nada. Those who waited lived on the fumes of faith. They clung to old prophecies, such as the last words issued in the last chapter of the last book of the Old Testament, Malachi, where God says this:
 
"Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire," says the LORD Almighty. "Not a root or a branch will be left to them. But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.” [Malachi 4:1-2]
 
And then the light broke. After 400 years of darkness, Jesus came—The Light of the World, the Messiah, Emmanuel – God with us, came with, as promised, healing in his wings! As Matthew, who wrote the first book in our New Testament say, Jesus came to fulfill the prophecy by Isaiah: the people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. (Isaiah 9:1-2)
 
Jesus came to be the way for all people through the ages, across all cultures, men and women, slave and free, to have a permanent connection with God He would maintain
 
Jesus came to shine a light on our lives that would, yes, point out the unsightly, blemished, broken down, damaged, scarred, mean and far from perfect parts of us that we would rather hide. And he came not to condemn but to free us from them.
 
Jesus came to restore us and restore our relationship with God.
That
is what we celebrate at Christmas.
 
So I have to ask: Have you discovered that part of Christmas yet?
 
If you feel like the lights have been turned off in your life, or maybe like you could never find the switch. If you feel like you have a little light but it’s just never enough and you long for more so that you can see clearly for once. If you have been living in darkness and in the shadow of death. If the world seems silent and without meaning. If you have no hope to grasp onto and see no future. If you question what love is. If you have been groping for a flashlight and now want to yell for help…
 
May I introduce you to Jesus?
 
It’s not hard. It’s simpler than any of us can imagine. Just say:
Jesus, I want you to come into my life. I want your light to shine in my darkness. Come into the empty and deserted places of my heart that no one has been able to occupy. Let me know that I am never alone because you are here. Forgive me for the things I have done and the things I have failed to do. Show me God’s love and open the heavens for the miraculous to occur in my life. Let me experience the power of the Holy Spirit to do the things that I cannot do. I want to live in the light, Jesus. Show me how. Show me now.

May your lights be turned on perpetually from this moment on.

Posted via email from 40 Day Fast

Monday, December 08, 2008

Worship Music: Who Am I | by Casting Crowns


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Listen on posterous

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way, for my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am, but because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who You are
 
 
CHORUS
I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean, vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I’m calling
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
And You’ve told me who I am, I am yours...
                    
 
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me
Not because of who I am, but because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who You are

CHORUS

Not because of who I am, but because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who You are
 
CHORUS

I am Yours...
Whom shall I fear, whom shall I fear
Cause I am Yours, I am Yours

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Friday, December 05, 2008

N.T. Wright on Worship


This brings us to the first of two golden rules at the heart of spirituality. You become like what you worship. When you gaze in awe, admiration, and wonder at something or someone, you begin to take on something of the character of the object or your worship. Those who worship money become, eventually, human calculating machines. Those who worship sex become obsessed with their own attractiveness or prowess. Those who worship power become more and more ruthless.

So what happens when you worship the creator God whose plan to rescue the world and put it to rights has been accomplished by the Lamb who was slain? The answer comes in the second golden rule: because you were made in God’s image, worship makes you more truly human. When you gaze in love and gratitude at the God in whose image you were made, you do indeed grow. You discover more of what it means to be fully alive.

Conversely, when you give that same total worship to anything or anyone else, you shrink as a human being. It doesn’t, of course, feel like that at the time. When you worship part of the creation as though it were the Creator himself—in other words, when you worship an idol—you may well feel a brief “high.”  But, like a hallucinatory drug, that worship achieves its effect at a cost: when the effect is over, you are less of a human being than you were to begin with. This is the price of idolatry.

The opportunity, the invitation, the summons is there before us: to come and worship the tru God, the creator, the redeemer, and to become more truly human by doing so. Worship is at the very center of all Christian living.

N.T. Wright, Simply Christian, pp 148

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The Bottomless Pit


It started with a small pimple that then became a blackhead on my sister’s back. Every couple weeks or so, she would have me check to see if it had disappeared, and if not I’d squeeze the blackhead to try to get out all of the collected subcutaneous material (sebum and dead skin). This went on for weeks and months, as it was always still there, always more to squeeze out, never ending. We began calling it “The Bottomless Pit.”
 
This went on until I moved away, until she got married, at which point The Bottomless Pit became her husband’s responsibility. Whenever I returned home to visit, I’d ask about The Bottomless Pit – and over time it did disappear…but not disappear as in we found no trace of it, but disappear as in The Bottomless Pit gave in to a new identity, evolving from a small pinprick of a blackhead to a larger nodule, and eventually a cyst.
 
The cyst grew to walnut-size and became fibroidal and hard. No longer could anyone extract anything from it. Lodged between her shoulder blades, it couldn’t be ignored, and she sought a dermatologist who referred her to a surgeon to have it surgically excised.
 
The Bottomless Pit had taken on a life of its own, morphing from something small and, we thought, manageable to a problem requiring a specialist. The surgeon’s concern now was not just the cyst but that the fibroids had sprouted root-like threads attaching themselves to surrounding muscles…and growing in the direction of the spine. The longer he waited to remove the cyst, the greater the probability that he might cut too close to the spinal cord and cause even greater irreparable damage.
 
Such is the nature of sin. It starts as a simple pimple (acne [http://ad.vu/p3sk]), a pore or hair follicle irritated by bacteria. Unattended, the pore settles into a blackhead made of sebaceous material and dead skin that we then pick and prod with unclean hands. When it becomes noticeable, we try to squeeze it out, time and time again, but it is a bottomless pit. No matter how many times we go back and try to extract all the dirt that has become an oily, infected mess, there’s still more.
 
It’s easy enough to know where I’m going. Yeah, yeah, “and that blackhead will become a cyst that grows to infect the larger body which can only be surgically removed by the Great Physician, God.” 10 points for you.
 
But my main point is not about the cure, it’s about the pit, The Bottomless Pit—acknowledging, understanding, grasping in the depths of our being the helplessness of sin: That it’s bottomless, And that it is a pit in the worse sense of the word, pit being the biblical metaphor for hell, punishment, death. The psalmist cries out in Psalm 88:1-4
 
1 O LORD, the God who saves me,
       day and night I cry out before you.
 2 May my prayer come before you;
       turn your ear to my cry.
 3 For my soul is full of trouble
       and my life draws near the grave.
 4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
       I am like a man without strength.
 
This understanding about sin and distance from God is not Christianity 101, not mere definition of terms. This understanding is not academic head knowledge to check off our list and move on. Coming to grips with what sin is in or lives is a lifetime experience that shadows every person, a condition that we cannot shake. It does not go away because we are human.
 
How do I know that sin is a lifetime condition and affliction? I know because Paul the apostle writes about it. Paul, whose thoughts became the foundation for Christian theology because they reflected the experience of all believers, wrote about it in Romans 7:
 
14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
 
Paul’s voice echoes our own that no matter how hard we try, sin lives in us. We are infected with the bacteria of sin and we cannot wash it off. Our nature is that we are not God, and as I reflected in an earlier journal entry (The S-Word
http://40dayfast.posterous.com/day-31-the-s-word <http://40dayfast.posterous.com/day-31-the-s-word> ), sin is anything and everything that is not God.
 
Paul concludes his thoughts in Romans 7:24-25 with “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

What a wretched man, woman, being am I! The longer we live with Jesus, the more we realize this. The more we see how good and holy, righteous, loving, and just God is, the more we see that we are not.
 
We cannot fool ourselves at any time that we have “arrived,” that we have come to a special place of spiritual maturity that lifts us out of our human condition and sets us apart from others. That is the most dangerous place of all. When we believe that—and all of us at recurring moments do fall prey to that illusion and lie—we have deconstructed the bottomless pit, degraded it into a self-contained cyst that grows on its own, resistant to change, redemption, and new life.
 
The best place—the bottomless pit
Anyone who has gone through Alcoholics Anonymous or a similar recovery program will tell you that you have to hit bottom, and until you do no one can help you. What happens when we hit bottom is that we feel powerless to change and finally admit that we need a higher power.
 
That is what scripture tells us in Psalm 40:
1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
       he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
       out of the mud and mire;
       he set my feet on a rock
       and gave me a firm place to stand.

And in Psalm 103:
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
       all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
 2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
       and forget not all his benefits-
 3 who forgives all your sins
       and heals all your diseases,
 4 who redeems your life from the pit
       and crowns you with love and compassion,

And what Jonah cried out from the belly of the whale:
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
     the earth beneath barred me in forever.
     But you brought my life up from the pit,
     O LORD my God.  [Jonah 2:6]

The mystery of a life in Jesus Christ is that we can hold in tension the dual realities of the pit and the heights, sin and sanctification, heaven and hell. That mystery is encapsulated in one word: faith.
 
Faith is what Hebrews 11:1 says— “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” More than the “suspension of disbelief,” a term coined by the 19th Century English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge to explain why we can temporarily accept implausible works of fiction and art, faith dismantles disbelief.
 
Faith does not ignore the pit, it suspends us over the pit. It holds us safe even though we are close the fire, in the lions’ den, standing among accusers, and when we lose traction in life. Faith is remembering how good God is, not just relying on our honest attempts to be good.
 
And, yes, faith is knowing that God through the unparalleled act of Jesus Christ excises our sin, removes it completely when he covers over our sin with his own body. Jesus is the cover over the bottomless pit. We just have to acknowledge that it’s there.

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Thursday, December 04, 2008

N.T. Wright on Worship


When we begin to glimpse the reality of God, the natural reaction is to worship him. Not to have that reaction is a fairly sure sign that we haven’t yet really understood who he is or what he’s done.

N.T. Wright, Simply Christian, p 143

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One to the Power of One


Mathematics is a magically complex, intriguing mechanism. The number of fascinating math tricks is endless, and through its relationship with science, numbers can now explain almost anything: how fast, how high, how far, how long in both microscopic and galactic scales.
 
Numbers now help us fathom the universe, such as how far to Jupiter or a distant nebulae or how large a particular plant cell. I can visit my doctor and she’ll read me the numbers that describe my health: cholesterol levels (both HDL and LDL), liver function, bone density, glucose, heart rate, vision, and of course weight.
 
I read the news and watch the stock market go up and down, weather forecast up and down, gas prices up and down, presidential approval ratings up and down, surf at  Waikiki and Waimea Bay up and down.
 
My computer screen top menu tells me how much battery charge I have left, cell phone how many minutes I’ve talked, calendar how many days until, cash register how much I owe, YouTube screen how many seconds until the end, Facebook how many friends, USDA nutritional box how many calories.
 
Numbers, numbers, numbers. Mathematicians and scientists love them as a language all its own. Musicians rely upon them for rhythm. Chefs employ them for proportions, heating requirements, cooking times. And what parent has not counted to 10 as a warning of things to come?
 
But the most important number? I thinks it’s one. One. 1. Uno, Une. Ichi, 一 .
 
One is the basic unit upon which all other calculations are based. One is the plumb line that every other number, gargantuan or fractional, multiple or decimal, is measured against, compared with, understood.
 
And One is the number that God cares about most.
 
Of course, the Bible is replete with numbers. From the beginning, in the beginning, the writer of Genesis describes the number of days God took to create the world…starting with Day 1. And when He created man, God started with one. Then He added to the one, saying, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."  [Gen 2:18]
 
We read in the Bible about Noah and God’s command for him to bring two of every kind of animal on the ark, with specific dimensions: “450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high.” We know how long it rained during The Flood—40 days and 40 nights—and we know how old Noah was when the rain began falling: 600 years old, and that it commenced on the seventeenth day of the second month of the year.
 
The Book of Numbers has its share of digits, and scripture gives the exact dimensions for the Temple that King Solomon built. And let’s not forget that in order to locate all these scripture passages, we rely upon numbers, chapter and verse, meticulously added in the second millennium A.D.
 
And yet, the most important number among all of these remains one. God cares about the one, the individual among the masses. He selects the one to accomplish specific tasks, singling out Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Ruth, David, Daniel, Mary, John the Baptist, Paul. Jesus tells of God the shepherd leaving the 99 to find the one lost sheep and says, “there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."
 
Who is the “one” that Jesus talks of? To which one did Jesus come to show the love of God? Who is the one that Jesus died for? And to which one has He given the Holy Spirit?
 
I am that one. You are that one. Every individual person, every one is that one.
 
Moreover, Jesus did not come just for the one, but he came to make us one—that is, to make us whole, a complete integer. He came to restore us so that we would not be a fraction of the person that God created us to be. God subtracts nothing from us but adds until we are absolutely full. Jesus came to take the crumbling parts of who we are, patch us back together, and regenerate us in God’s Holy Spirit into something, Someone, more whole, complete, integrated, fully functioning, more wonderful than we could ever be by ourselves.
 
The Power of One is one raised to the One power – God’s power that makes us more fully one than we could humanly be without Him. We are stronger for The One. We are more humble for the one. Raised by God to stand tall in the shadow of The One, each one of us has purpose, meaning, value that can never be torn from us. Nor can we be replicated. God’s made only one of us, and that pleases Him to see us come as we are—come one by one to Him.
 
In a world fraught with numbers, counting, calculating, comparing, it would do us good to stop daily, every day, to consider The One who loves us and knows who we are apart from others. We need to know that God sees us, one among the many. And that’s the only thing that counts.

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Sunday, November 30, 2008

Day 40: Finish line


Well, it’s over. Our church’s 40-day fast has officially ended and life can return to normal. But hopefully not.
 
I’ve used the metaphor of a race to describe the process of our fast, but in this instance the finish line isn’t so much a finish line as in “it’s all over” as a finish line as in “we’ve reached a new level of polish.”
 
Living with God is about polishing – not so our outsides will look all clean and shiny, slick, gleaming, spotless, and glowing, but so that our insides are always growing to a higher level of completeness. The Lord wants to constantly refinish our interior life, sanding down the rough spots, patching up the crumbling parts, replacing the broken mechanisms, oiling the squeaks, caulking the holes, clearing away the debris, and wiping us clean with His embrace.
 
Coming to the finish line, therefore, is as much about beginnings as endings. I’ve gone through the process and emerged a renewed and renovated me. Where do I go from here? How, then, do I live?
 
In the first few days after ending a fast, it’s hard to go back. My husband Dan who has a sweet tooth fasted from desserts for the 40 days, and when he had the opportunity to break the fast even he said that it felt strange. I think that’s a good thing.
 
There is something about remembering the times of testing that builds resiliency in us. A self-imposed fast is, of course, artificial in its hardship, and yet it still calls us to look for and rely upon the faithfulness of God.
 
That faithfulness can only be known by experience, and we relive and rely upon it through story telling, remembering the when of how God did the what without explaining the why.
 
Our friend Christy recently had an image or vision for Dan and I while she was praying for us. She said it was of Dan “going into a jungle with a big knife (or sickle?) chopping your way through the bush and jungle. Pam has binoculars and is walking behind you looking the other way behind you.”
 
I interpret that as God’s message to us that going forward in the path that God has for us in its immediacy will be tough and require a lot of pushing forward with strength and perseverance, but if we need look back, using binoculars to look way back into the past through where He has taken us, we will see His great faithfulness and how far we have come with Him.
 
Remember God’s faithfulness.
That’s a lesson for Dan and I, but it’s also a lesson for every person. When we stand with God in the present, we can look back into our past and see what God has done to get us to here, to this particular finish line. We need to be reminded, we need to tell each other the stories of God in our lives and of His unfailing love.
 
That’s the lesson of Hebrews 11, one of my favorite passages in the New Testament. It starts out with,  “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” It then goes through a catalogue of faithful believing by the patriarchs, the men and women of the Old Testament who looked for and trusted in God’s promises, then pushed ahead without knowing exactly what the future looked like. Just like trying to hack one’s way through a dense jungle.
 
Hebrews speaks about the patriarchs looking forward—and then it tells us to look back, look back at them and their stories, their examples, to see God’s faithfulness over the millennia.
 
Where do we go from here?
We go forward. We keep taking that next step even in the entanglements, and maybe especially because of the entanglements, towards God’s freedom. And we go forward even better equipped and stronger and filled with more faith because of what lies behind us.
 
I am reminded of what Paul writes in his Letter to the Philippians. He writes to encourage them after they had heard of his imprisonment for openly sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ—something he cannot help but do. He writes in Philippians 3:12-14:
 
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Many of us know this passage well. But hear it again as told by Eugene Peterson in his modern translation, The Message

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

Not turning back. That is the attitude I want to continuously hold. I can’t quite see what lies ahead, but I’m not turning back. I’m finished with this stage of the race, but I’m not finished yet, and I’m not turning back. I’m well on my way, though sometimes the going is slow, but God’s winds are blowing me in His direction. The race is good. The goal is worthwhile. God is beckoning me onward. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

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Friday, November 28, 2008

Day 39: Rule #5

When my kids were young, I used to give them rules before leaving them home with babysitters. Simple rules. No more than five. Always written out and read to them (since at 3 and 5 them couldn’t). Rules like these:
  1. You may watch one video
  2. Put away your toys
  3. Brush your teeth
  4. Go to bed at 8 pm
  5. Have FUN.

Always Rule #5. After the stern admonitions, the don’t forgets, the responsible stuff, there was always Rule #5. It was a wink, a Mommy loves you, and early instruction on understanding that good rules are for our good and aren’t always hard to keep.

That was the mom in me at work. Or more accurately God at work in the mom at me at work – aware that most of the time as a parent I was making it up as I went along.

Years later, though, Rule #5 still applies—to my grown children’s lives in school, with their friends, in their work. I’m also learning that God applies it to me—my work, my ministry, my life.

Have fun. Sounds shallow, superfluous, self-centered—downright sinful when there are so many things to be done, people to be helped, causes to advance, trees to be saved, lives to be rescued from poverty, prostitution, pornography, pollution. And yet, the question, “Are we having fun yet?” has become one of my criteria for measuring the value of my labor.

One of my criteria, not the criteria, “fun” is an everyday colloquialism for the theological principle of Joy. Joy characterizes the inner life of disciples of Jesus Christ. It is one of the fruit or by-products of walking with, working with, reveling in God’s Holy Spirit. Joy ranks in Paul’s list in Galatians 5:22-23 when he writes, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

There is no law (rule) against joy (fun), so why not make a law (rule) for it? Why not look for it, anticipate it, wait for it? And why not measure our lives with it—not for fun and games but for evidence of the life of Jesus operating in us.

Joy is the feeling I have when God gets me through prolonged, trying situations – often by changing me.

Joy is the reward in working with others, pooling our gifts and talents, in a God-designed project that none of us could do alone.

Joy is in the laughter resounding among my friends even amid the tears of our shared lives.

Joy is the kernel in humility that makes me able to laugh at my faults and foibles.

Joy is God’s shot of energy that fuels my creative process and prods me forward, forward, forward—a tantalizing motivator and not a cruel taskmaster.

Joy is God’s pat on the back in doing something worthwhile for others.

Joy is the gold and diamonds deposited in my heart-vault in the love I receive from others.

Joy is a memory and a promise, the reminder that the Holy Spirit is at work in me even when I can’t see or feel it.

Life is hard. There’s no getting around it. We do hurt, we do make mistakes. We have faults and we fail others. We will be betrayed and misunderstood, maligned, mocked, misrepresented, and maltreated—even as followers of Jesus Christ, maybe especially as followers of Jesus Christ. Living longer under Jesus’s lordship, gaining more experience and growing wiser doesn’t necessarily make life any easier. But where ease comes up short, joy fills in.

That joy, as all the fruit of the Spirit, comes out of relationships, first with God and then with others as the Spirit works in us. We cannot enjoy the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control—outside of relationships. These are only experienced within relationships. And when we do experience them, even in the hard stuff, you bet, we’ve got Rule #5.

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Day 38: Iron Monkey



If my spiritual wu shu could only look like this!

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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Days 26 + 37: Rolling with the Punches


I love a good kung fu movie. Step aside, Quentin Tarentino and Kill Bill, Steven Seagal, and Jean-Claude Van Damme, I’m popping my corn for the Chinese genre: Jet Li, Ti Lung, Donnie Yen, Michelle Yeoh, Jackie Chan, Yuen Woo Ping choreography, flicks like Wing Chun, Once Upon in China, Iron Monkey, Hero, Kung Fu Hustle, and, yes, even Kung Fu Panda.
 
In my book, a good kung fu movie has to have amazing martial arts choreography, never seen before stunts, household items used as weapons, strong women holding their own, and humor, lots of it.
 
The best kung fu has a great deal of dodging and fancy footwork, flipping, leaping. Hands quickly deflect a battery of blows, a single pole skillfully handled will hold off teams of attackers. Way before Obi Wan Kenobi whispered, “Use the force, Luke” kung fu films accessed the life force of qi to scale walls, leap over buildings, and levitate.
 
Gotta love those kung fu movies. A good model for what we can do when we are spiritually fit—deflect, defeat, defend.
 
Say what?
 
Like kung fu practioners, when followers of Jesus engage in regular, disciplined spiritual exercises, we acquire “secret moves” for managing the stories of our lives. Kung fu students learn sets and forms, stances as well as rigid routines that begin with boring repetition (remember Karate Kid and “wax on, wax off?”) but over time merge into graceful, flowing dances. Kung fu starts as basic fighting skills but at its highest form becomes wu shu
武 术 — martial arts.
In Matthew 5, Jesus says:
You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. [vv 38-42]
 
Sounds like wu shu to me. However, what Jesus teaches are not athletic practices for defeating our enemies but relationship moves that help us roll with the punches. We might be able to dodge a bullet once or maybe twice. But life has so many zinging arrows, landmines, and ticking bombs that we have to be trained in how to respond in ways that defuse situations instead of escalating them. Moves like these don’t come easy or naturally, and mastery doesn’t come through practice hitting sessions at home.
 
To get to the place where we can offer our cheek, give someone the clothes off our back, go the second mile, we have to learn how to walk differently, train ourselves in new reactions, and develop new muscle memory.
 
We have to plug ourselves into God's operating system, the one guided by His force, the Holy Spirit. That only comes by taking part in a spiritual exercise programs involving disciplines such as prayer, worship, Sabbath, study, confession, accountability, service, giving.
 
Little by little, over time, slowly with practice, God transforms our feeble efforts, small prayers, obedient giving until we have a new outlook on life. Equipped with gifts and skills from God that we know how to use, we can walk through chaos, mend failed relationships, restore lost paths, resurrect dead hope, and cure diseased mindsets. We can feed the hungry, clothe the naked, heal the sick, and bring home the lost. We can rebuild our families. We will find we can do what Paul instructs us in Romans 12:14-18 and:
 
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

The Christian life is not one without pain, hardship, trial, suffering, betrayal, or injustice. In fact, the longer I live and the more I grow as a believer, the more hurt, sorrow, disappointment, loss, and failure I encounter. It never goes away.
 
However, as I train with God, He develop within me the spiritual fitness to get up when knocked down, to duck the swings, tumble to safety, protect my heart, laugh at my follies, and roll with the punches. And that’s far better than even the best kung fu movie.
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Sunday, November 23, 2008

Day 35: The Final Stretch


Day 35:  The Final Stretch
 
Five days to go in the 40-Day Fast. I can be tempted to view the remaining days as the final moments before relief, a “just hold on a little longer, you can do it” frame of mind—survival mentality as it were. That would be an expected and respectable response to 40 days of any kind of increased rigor whether spiritual, physical, mental, or dietary. Discipline can be tiring, boring, unrewarding and even masochistic.
 
But I am discovering something different that catches me by surprise. Rather than this being the beginning of the end, I think this could be the best stage of all. A final stretch that has me not just reaching for the finish line but accelerating past it.
 
5 weeks with 5 days to go
I’m no athlete but I am a dedicated lap swimmer, slow but steady in my workouts. The first 100 is easy: I’m fresh, energized, my muscles aren’t tired. The next several hundred, however, I feel myself tiring. I have to breathe a little more often and concentrate on pulling my hands through the water, keeping up my kick. However, by the time I reach my 800- , 900-meter mark, I’ve found my groove. My heart beats hard but strong, my kick has found the rhythm to match my stroke, each slice of my arm through the water brings a feeling of more power as I finally settle into ideal aerodynamics. Sometimes the feeling is so good in the final stretch, I don’t want to stop and switch into the next part of my workout.
 
It’s near to feeling that way now, not that the past 5 weeks have made me a superior follower of Christ, increased my virtues or performance, or made me any more holier. Rather, it’s the feeling of finding a new groove, of finally putting the mechanics into place so that what used to feel hard has lost some of the fatigue of the trying, replaced instead with a new conscious level of understanding of who God is and how his kingdom works.
 
When I swim, throughout my routine I’m in the same water, operating under the same conditions, using the same equipment. I don’t pop a few steroids or stop for an energy boost in the middle. Nothing changes from the beginning of my swim to the end. The longer I swim, the more nothing changes. But as I swim and push against the resistance, I slowly find my stride, and that takes me to a new level.
 
Dark horses
This summer I went to the racetracks for the first time. Our friends have a box at Arlington Park in the Chicago suburbs where you can watch the horses race live on Arlington track as well as watch live feeds from other premier racetracks like Churchill Downs, Pimlico and Belmont. The box is under the eaves and right in front of the finish line. From there you can see the horses rounding the final corner, pounding down the home stretch, jockeys astraddle, tails flying, heads, necks, hooves galloping to the finish.
 
My favorite races are the ones where a horse comes from behind, creeping forward through the pack, and with a final unexpected burst of acceleration eclipses the leader to win the heat.
 
What impresses me is not so much that the horse beats out the winner as the energy, strength, and muscle these colts and fillies gather in the final stretch to sail home. Somewhere in that final stretch, the jockey working with the horse knows when that horse can accelerate to a level of performance that has the horse using more of its potential.
 
That comes with practice. It comes form a jockey knowing his horse. It’s a combination of diet and exercise, healthful habits, rest, and, yes, ability, too.
 
Homestretch
In my homestretch I feel like I’m finally getting it. God as my jockey is using the feeble practices of this fast to take me to a new level, to give me a new awareness of His life in me.
 
What does that look like? For me, it’s discovering His hand in my everyday life, not just looking for intervention through the miraculous. Instead of backing away with excuses, it’s accepting and engaging in the exercise – the hard work – of wrestling with thoughts, ideas, perceptions, and questions, and not just settling for what I thought I believed or what others have told me to believe.
 
It’s a growing openness to the likely possibility—okay, to the growing certainty that my idea of happiness falls short of God’s. It is acknowledging my sin (see Day 31) and all the ways that I am not God. It is a re-gathering of all that I am in the direction of God.
 
I’m reminded of what Paul writes in Romans 12:1-2 about being transformed and renewed, quoted here in  Eugene Peterson’s translation, The Message:
 
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

I’m looking at the final stretch to be a good stretch in every meaning of the word: a time to not wind down and relax, but to let God use the new elasticity He’s creating in me to not huff and puff to the end but to send me soaring past the finish line.

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Day 34 Rest


   By the seventh day
      God had finished his work.
   On the seventh day
      he rested from all his work.
   God blessed the seventh day.
      He made it a Holy Day
   Because on that day he rested from his work,
      all the creating God had done.
                                Genesis 2:2-4 | Translated in The Message

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Day 33: On being a shallow person~Oswald Chambers


Leave it to Oswald Chambers to cut through the spiritual posturing and say it’s okay to be shallow.

Shallow and Profound
Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God —1 Corinthians 10:31

Beware of allowing yourself to think that the shallow aspects of life are not ordained by God; they are ordained by Him equally as much as the profound. We sometimes refuse to be shallow, not out of our deep devotion to God but because we wish to impress other people with the fact that we are not shallow. This is a sure sign of spiritual pride. We must be careful, for this is how contempt for others is produced in our lives. And it causes us to be a walking rebuke to other people because they are more shallow than we are. Beware of posing as a profound person— God became a baby.

To be shallow is not a sign of being sinful, nor is shallowness an indication that there is no depth to your life at all— the ocean has a shore. Even the shallow things of life, such as eating and drinking, walking and talking, are ordained by God. These are all things our Lord did. He did them as the Son of God, and He said, "A disciple is not above his teacher . . ." ( Matthew 10:24  ).

We are safeguarded by the shallow things of life. We have to live the surface, commonsense life in a commonsense way. Then when God gives us the deeper things, they are obviously separated from the shallow concerns. Never show the depth of your life to anyone but God. We are so nauseatingly serious, so desperately interested in our own character and reputation, we refuse to behave like Christians in the shallow concerns of life.

Make a determination to take no one seriously except God. You may find that the first person you must be the most critical with, as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself.

November 22 reading | My Utmost for His Highest | Oswald Chambers Daily Devotional


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Day 32: The Other S Word


Sigh.

That last posting on sin really took a lot out of me. I struggled over every thought.

Sometimes when I write, it comes spilling out like ink from a jar. I know where God is moving me. Other times, I wrestle, thoughts pulling me one way and another, words painfully executed, then excised, edited, erased, then reiterated—and not able to rest until I have pushed through all the way to discover where God wanted me to go.

The gift of this blog during this 40 Day Fast is that, number one, it’s forced me to write. But more than putting words to paper, it has, number two, forced me to think, to exercise the muscle in my brain that can clearly and joyfully articulate God in my life. Sometimes I get it well enough early enough to just write it down. Other times, I am learning as I write.

Number three, the exercise – the discipline – has helped me to grow. There is nothing like disciplined exercise for helping us grow in any area, whether it be an athletic activity, a musical instrument, reading, or thinking. Thank you, God, for pulling me up the ladder a little higher.

The older I get, the more I understand the need for discipline. And that’s why it’s helpful to regularly engage in spiritual disciplines like fasting, journaling, giving, worshipping. The gain is so much more than the perceived sacrifice. Fasting, as I said on Day 28, is feasting.

As to the Other S Word. Not sigh, but Sabbath. Rest. Feeling God as we rest in Him. Not working for Him, not sacrificing for Him, but taking long deep breaths of God. So, maybe sigh after all. And that’s what I need, we need.

This is all to say that if I take a break in the next day or so, it could be me getting a good Sabbath, getting in a good sigh with God.

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Day 32: The Other S Word


Sigh.

That last posting on sin really took a lot out of me. I struggled over every thought.

Sometimes when I write, it comes spilling out like ink from a jar. I know where God is moving me. Other times, I wrestle, thoughts pulling me one way and another, words painfully executed, then excised, edited, erased, then reiterated—and not able to rest until I have pushed through all the way to discover where God wanted me to go.

The gift of this blog during this 40 Day Fast is that, number one, it’s forced me to write. But more than putting words to paper, it has, number two, forced me to think, to exercise the muscle in my brain that can clearly and joyfully articulate God in my life. Sometimes I get it well enough early enough to just write it down. Other times, I am learning as I write.

Number three, the exercise – the discipline – has helped me to grow. There is nothing like disciplined exercise for helping us grow in any area, whether it be an athletic activity, a musical instrument, reading, or thinking. Thank you, God, for pulling me up the ladder a little higher.

The older I get, the more I understand the need for discipline. And that’s why it’s helpful to regularly engage in spiritual disciplines like fasting, journaling, giving, worshipping. The gain is so much more than the perceived sacrifice. Fasting, as I said on Day 28, is feasting.

As to the Other S Word. Not sigh, but Sabbath. Rest. Feeling God as we rest in Him. Not working for Him, not sacrificing for Him, but taking long deep breaths of God. So, maybe sigh after all. And that’s what I need, we need.

This is all to say that if I take a break in the next day or so, it could be me getting a good Sabbath, getting in a good sigh with God.



 

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Day 31: The S-word


My friend Mitch got me thinking about sin this week. We were at an open forum where I was interviewing him about being a follower of Jesus Christ as a business leader. I had the easy job.
 
The thing is, he mentioned the “S” word—SIN, in a public setting. At least it was in a Christian  setting where everyone in the room was on the same page. But it also felt so very public, meeting in a private room of a popular entertainment center, awash in loud, driving music, rapid fire video games, mounds of food, beer, beer and more beer, and ka-chink! It could have been a casino, except gambling isn’t legal here.
 
The “S” word can be jarring. No one uses it in public except “religious” people and those in the other S-word industry, the Sex Industry, where sin is star. Sin is either really, really bad, or oh so good!
 
Is there a happy medium? Oh that’s right, we’re talking about sin, the idea of wrongdoing. And that’s the problem. How does one talk about it without feeling judged or judgmental, without feeling ashamed or confused? It’s an uncomfortable word because, frankly, it admits wrongdoing and that’s just not a good feeling. We live in an enlightened society, we hold tolerant values, we are a compassionate people, and whether we believe in Jesus or not we like Jesus’ words to do unto others as we would have others do unto us. Don’t tell us we’ve sinned. We won’t tell if you don’t.
 
And yet, if we do follow Jesus’ words—all of them and not just the convenient ones—if we believe in a God who is not just good but perfect, just and righteous, if we want to have a relationship with Him, we have to come to grips with the fact that we are not like Him.
 
We have to spend serious time considering not just what makes us different but what separates us from Him. That is what I think sin is. Sin is the difference between God and us. It is everything that He is not.
 
The Greek word for sin used most frequently in the Bible is hamartia which literally means “missing a target or mark” —as when the Apostle Paul wrote, “For all have sinned [hamartano], and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). We can then say that everything that is outside of the bulls-eye is outside of the glory of God. Anything that falls short of receiving the adulation that God deserves, anything that is one iota less magnificent than God—is not God and is therefore sin.
 
Therefore, to know what sin is, we have to know God. When we know God, we will recognize what is not Him. We will understand what falls short, where we miss the mark, how we sin.
 
The S-word is still not something I want to flash around in public. But I can understand it more if I see it through the light of God rather than dig for it in the darkness of my heart. If thinking about sin actually gives me more freedom to think about God’s goodness, greatness, awesomeness, incomparableness, His grace towards me, His tenderness, His love for me—I feel empowered, I feel liberated. I actually feel okay about making a long list of how I am not like God.
 
And that is a good thing. When I can see how desirable God is but at the same time see the distance that lies between Him and I, how much more do I understand my need for Jesus. Only Jesus who is fully God and fully man can cover that chasm. That was and is God's plan for all the S words: sin, sacrifice, sanctification, salvation.
 
Paul writes in Romans 8:31-39 —
If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
   "For your sake we face death all day long;
      we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 


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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Day 31: In Memoriam - Luke Nishikawa


Here with us 1986 – 2008 | Home with God November 15, 2008

“Friends” by Michael W. Smith, sung here by Na Leo Pilimehana

Article and video on Luke’s untimely departure at: http://kgmb9.com/main/content/view/11552/40/

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Day 30: Asking for it


When we pray, we’re asking for it. Literally.

Prayer is many things and has lots of different forms and functions, but the one function that is most familiar is prayer that asks for something. The technical term would be “supplication” or asking God to supply.
 
Now after a while, some of us begin to realize that much of our relationship with God is asking for it. It’s a pretty one-sided conversation. When was the last time in prayer that we turned to God and said, “And what about you? What can I do you for?”
 
We don’t because we know even before we start asking that we can’t do much for God, not really. After all He IS the Creator of the Universe, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, All-Holy, Almighty, Omnipotent God. Pretty hard to have a reciprocal relationship with someone like that.
 
But does God mind? Does he mind all the asking?
 
I remember when my daughter at not quite 3 years old was getting into her stride talking and launching into “conversation.” We were trapped on one of those long car rides between LA and San Francisco, and were pressing on non-stop through the more boring stretches that have you begging to just get home.
 
But my daughter didn’t notice it was boring. She was conversing, using her words, learning the fine art of social relationship with her mom, the “connection thing”—and asking one why question after another. She had a lot to ask: Why this? Why that? And what about that?…with no stopping to pause, ponder, pout or play. After about two hours, I had to say, “Honey, can you just be quiet now and not talk to Mommy for a while?”
 
She had exhausted me. It’s not that I didn’t like talking with my daughter. I just didn’t have the answers.
 
That’s the difference between God and I: He does have all the answers. And because He does, God delights in our asking. Our asking opens the doors to Who He Really Is.
 
In Matthew 7:7-11, Jesus tells us:
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
 
The invitation to ask doesn’t go only for the pretty, neatly wrapped things that can be easily packaged and tidily put away. That’s how we humans would have all our answers.
 
The invitation takes on new dimensions when we give God something hard. I wonder if God loves these prayers best because it gives us the opportunity to see what God can do.
 
Let me repeat that: It gives US the opportunity to see what God can do. Asking God the impossible removes the limits we place on the possible. Asking admits that God has powers beyond human capability, thought or genius. When we ask the impossible, we turn the corner on who God is—from a neatly boxed God to not what I thought he was, and then even more. That, in itself is a miracle within us that changes everything.
 
Every prayer is a crack in the wall between heaven and earth, a wall not put up by God, but our wall of little imagination that prefers to gaze at the limited things of earth than  wonder at the limitless things of heaven. Ask for it.

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Monday, November 17, 2008

Day 29: If Is Not Where It's At

This evening, my daughter and I learned that one of her friends died in a car accident last night. He was 22, finishing college, a nice guy, good person with a future full of hope. It’s what you don’t want to hear. One of those things that you wish were a bad dream and not true when you wake up in the morning.

Something happened that caused the car crash. No one knows exactly. We can only speculate: Was it the weather, the roads, the car, the driver? Was there a distraction, a slip, blinding light from oncoming traffic?

And even if we knew the exact reason, the detailed cause, we can only second guess how it could have been prevented: If he had this, if he had that. If he hadn’t this, if he hadn’t that. If only…

If only what? If only he had known? If only someone else had changed the circumstances? If only God had stepped in and un-caused it?

Here, “if” is not a useful word because it dares to entertain that we are capable of always making the better choice, exercising better control, seeing and sidestepping danger with the flick of a steering wheel.

“If” is a conditional word offering a fork in the road that is just one intersection in a complex decision tree.

We cannot build our lives on IF.
It’s too shaky, too fragile to have every branch break off into more and more branches. We cannot hold steady in the uncertainty that maybe we made the wrong decision. With IF we always second guess.

We can only build our lives on IS.
The only way to have peace in our lives is to build on something Absolute – where there are none of the proverbial if's, and's, or but's—only IS. We need a permanent stability that moves us forward through change while remaining immovable, invariable, inalterable, unshakeable, unchanging, uncompromising, unconditional.

Jesus told us where to find that Absolute. He describes the differences between the surety of IS and the uncertainty of IF using house building. He says in Matthew 7:24-27—

Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.

Building our lives on IF is like building our house on sand— a million little particles shifting with rain, flood, wind. Sand does not hold its ground, cannot hold its form but flees. IF is the same way: you can’t pin it down.

But when we build our lives on IS, we build it on rock. Rock has integrity, shape, certainty, mass; rock is the foundation of the earth. Jesus says we can depend upon his words and shape our lives around them. Jesus IS the Word of God, the Great I Am. You can’t get anymore IS than that.

And for those of us who need it simple, can’t remember big expositions about anything, let along theology, Jesus’ words boil down to just one thing: I love you. The Absolute is nothing less than God’s unconditional love. Love that is pure, without reason or motive, without season or expectation. Love that never goes away.

Tonight, I thought about my daughter’s friend who knew Jesus' words and practiced them. He is on the other side of time where there are no longer any "if's" to second guess his life, and where he knows without condition the sure love of God. I then went into my 13 year old son’s bedroom as he lay sleeping, and laying my hand on his head said a prayer that went like this:

May you always know the absolute love of God.
May you know His absolute love through me, your dad, your sister, your brother.
May His Love protect you, because I cannot.
May it guide you, because I cannot.
May it redeem your present and your past, because I cannot.
May it be your future, because I cannot
May it be your peace, because I cannot.
May you know that it IS.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Day 28: The Difference Between Fasting and Feasting, a thin line

Sometimes I think I would enjoy life more if I were an ascetic.

I know that sentence doesn’t seem to equate. Enjoying life more would generally put the emphasis on the “more”—more quantity, more volume, more indulging, more More. I would seem the perfect candidate for the BOGO buy one, get one scheme. The problem is, I am.

I like a bargain, I like value, I like More, and I’d like to have more of what I like. A good experience begs a repeat experience, another partaking to match or even exceed the first. Pleasurable feelings, whether sight, sound, smell, taste, texture, or emotional have an addictive quality. How many people go to garage sales, thrift shops, Ross Dress for Less, One Day Sales for the mere thrill of the hunt?!

At the same time, however, I don’t need more, and sometimes I discover I don’t want more.

I often feel worse off for having more. Eating too much makes my body feel out of sorts. I physically turn away from tasting some foods because of their excessively richness. I can find a bag full of bargains at store; but when I get home, though I like all my treasures, my delight meter falters.

When More should be sending me off the seismic sensory scale, inside the needle sometimes flutters before falling flat. Rather than filling me, More can deflate me. Can you have too much of a good thing. Apparently, yes.

Without being lifestyle anorexic, I feel better when I eat less. I travel better when I pack less. I write better when I say less. I find uneasy dissatisfaction when I see my closet getting too full. I become irritable when my day is too packed. Large department stores decrease my desire to shop. Crowds send me packing home. Long books are just long books.

Mine is an ongoing personal struggle of discovering life to its fullest on a thin line.
Have I always been like this? Are ascetics born or made? I don’t know, and I don’t think I quite qualify as an ascetic. I’m not a hermit…yet. But I do know that when I fast I get much more out of it than when I feast.

Recently I had one of those necessary medical procedures where I had to completely empty out my digestive track. Nada was left inside. When I returned to eating, I couldn’t enjoy a normal diet. After a few bites of meat, I felt like I had eaten a whole side of prime rib, several lobsters, and polished it off with an entire dessert table. It took a week for me to recover and eat a regular meal

Fasting not just from food but fasting of a spiritual nature does that to me, too. When I fast as a spiritual discipline, whether it be from magazine reading, gossip, unnecessary purchases, computer games, sarcasm—I become more acutely aware of what I do not need. The purpose of a spiritual fast is to release toxic intrusions so that we can make more room for experiencing a Holy God in a deeper, more intimate, more powerful, more real way.

There’s that More word again —and the paradox of fasting. How can less bring us more? Or, what is the difference between fasting and feasting? Maybe we can take our cue from that little letter “e.” E for eating, ego, engineering, escapism, escalation, everything excess.

I would like to suggest that fasting is feasting when we are holding out for the best things in life. Not just the cream but the crème de la crème. Not just the fat but the fatted calf that God, “the waiting father” roasts on our return (see the Prodigal Son). We don’t need dessert when desert experiences show us oases to hide from the scorching sun, and when darkest night brings out the brightest stars.

The feast is in holding fast to Jesus, seeking Him to show us the way back to ourselves when we have become glutted and gorged. The feast is in letting go of everything, sending it out so that Jesus can show us in the residue that we with Him are enough. The feast is in finding the Essential E’s: El-Shaddai, The God Who is Sufficient for the Needs of His People. Emmanuel, God with Us.

When we do, we are better able to live on thin lines, to meet people where they feel empty and lacking, to love others when they feel small, to embrace those who feel invisible but whom God calls precious.

Thin lines help us survive lean times without giving up the best. It’s how Etty Hillesum lived in the Holocaust. (See Day 25.)

Celtic Christians talked about the thin place, saying that heaven and earth are only three feet apart, but in the thin places that distance is even smaller. “A thin place is where the veil that separates heaven and earth is lifted and one is able to receive a glimpse of the glory of God.”

May we all hold fast to thin lines.

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Saturday, November 15, 2008

Day 27: Hands off, hands up, hands down


From Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest, November 15:

One of the hardest lessons to learn comes from our stubborn refusal to refrain from interfering in other people’s lives. It takes a long time to realize the danger of being an amateur providence, that is, interfering with God’s plan for others. You see someone suffering and say, "He will not suffer, and I will make sure that he doesn’t." You put your hand right in front of God’s permissive will to stop it, and then God says, "What is that to you?" Is there stagnation in your spiritual life? Don’t allow it to continue, but get into God’s presence and find out the reason for it. You will possibly find it is because you have been interfering in the life of another— proposing things you had no right to propose, or advising when you had no right to advise. When you do have to give advice to another person, God will advise through you with the direct understanding of His Spirit. Your part is to maintain the right relationship with God so that His discernment can come through you continually for the purpose of blessing someone else.

Most of us live only within the level of consciousness— consciously serving and consciously devoted to God. This shows immaturity and the fact that we’re not yet living the real Christian life. Maturity is produced in the life of a child of God on the unconscious level, until we become so totally surrendered to God that we are not even aware of being used by Him. When we are consciously aware of being used as broken bread and poured-out wine, we have yet another level to reach— a level where all awareness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is completely eliminated. A saint is never consciously a saint— a saint is consciously dependent on God.
---------------
Hands off!
It’s what our teachers told us in kindergarten: Keep your hands to yourself! As adults, some of us still haven’t learned the lesson. Sometimes I think I’m so right…about other peoples’ lives, other peoples’ decisions, other peoples’ circumstances. And rather than actually helping them, my advice becomes a barging in, “pimp their lives” make-over as if I really knew better—as if I were God.

Hands up!
Chambers reminds me that the most important thing I can do for another person is that I “maintain a right relationship with God.”

When challenged by the Pharisees, "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus said,
“’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” [Matthew 22:36-40]

God reigns, hands down.

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Day 26, Part II: What do you hear?


What Do You Hear?

I posted the two recent quotes by Etty Hillesum (Day 25 http://40dayfast.posterous.com/day-25-no-one-is-in-their-clut) and N.T. Wright (Day 26 http://40dayfast.posterous.com/day-26-whisperings-in-our-inne) <http://40dayfast.posterous.com/day-26-whisperings-in-our-inne)> because they resonate with me.

Their words go beyond mere reassurance that others believe in The Divine. They speak of my personal experience of a God that is intimate and alive, real and sacred, a God that moves within my life with the ethereal whisper of fine-spun gossamer and delicate filament, not quite visible to the naked eye and yet pulsating undeniably like an unquenchable quasar, the sure heartbeat of His presence.

Like Etty Hillesum, I feel Him in secret dwelling places—unmovable, unmistakable, like a bit of ore, precious metal lodged in a site deep within that I can’t quite identify, its nucleus irradiating an expansive sense of being alive.
 
Like N.T. Wright, I hear whisperings from someone who cares about me and the world—words of truth that show me how to put things right when I have badly botched up, perspective when the forces of this world create tilt that would make me believe I am going to spill out, mercy when we have all gone over the edge, grace that picks us up and shows the eternal, imperishable beauty that conquers the darkest evil to give us hope.
 
When I read the experience of fellow believers in Jesus, seei on paper, hear in their words the intimacy with the God that I know who does not leave us and is here for our hope—I feel a simultaneous welling up of tears and shouts of  “Yes! Yes! Yes!”  He is here for me. He is here for you.
 
This is not something new. The apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 4: 6-12,16-18
 
vv 6-12
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
 
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

 vv 16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

 
I believe that God does speak to us. I stand by that. We can all hear His voice, feel His presence. It only requires surrender—not in the sense of being defeated because God is not our enemy, but in the sense of putting down our guard to trust the One who loves us more than we can begin to imagine.
 
Like the photo in Day 24, we must rest unguarded, quieted with our head near His heart  so that we can begin to catch the echoes, as N.T. Wright puts it, until the whisperings are real and we are “rescued at last.”

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Day 26: Whisperings in our inner ear


Quote by N.T. Wright

There are three basic ways of explaining this sense of the echo of a voice, it is call to justice, this dream of a world (and all of us within it) put to rights.
 
We can say, if we like, that it is indeed only a dream, a projection of childish fantasies, and that we have to get used to living in the world the way it is. Down that road we find Machiavelli and Nietzsche, the world of naked power and grabbing what you can get, the world where the only sin is to be caught.
 
Or we cay say, if we like, that the dream is of a different world altogether, a world where we really belong, where everything is indeed put to rights, a world into which we can escape in our dreams in the present and hope to escape one day for good—but a world which has little purchase on the present world except that people who live in this one sometimes find themselves dreaming of that one. That approach leaves the unscrupulous bullies running this world, but it consoles us with the thought that things will be better somewhere, sometime, even if there’s not much we can do about it here and now.
 
Or we can say, if we like, that the reason we have these dreams, the reason we have a sense of a memory of the echo of a voice, is that there is someone speaking to us, whispering in our inner ear—someone who cares very much about this present world and our present selves, and who has made us and the world for a purpose which will indeed involve justice, things being put to rights, ourselves being put to rights, the world being rescued at last.

[N.T. Wright, Simply Christian, HarperCollins, 2006, pp 8-9]

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Day 25: No one is in their clutches who is in Your arms.


From the diary of Etty Hillesum.

Etty Hillesum was a young Jewish woman, born in the Netherlands in 1914, lived in Nazi-occupied Netherlands and died at the age of 29 in Auschwitz, Poland on November 30, 1943. During that time she kept a diary, which she entrusted to the safekeeping of a friend when she was sent to Westerbrook Camp., then published posthumously.

July 12, 1942~
Dear God, these are anxious times. Tonight for the first time I lay in the dark with burning eyes as scene after scene of human suffering passed before me. I shall promise You one thing, God, just one very small thing: I shall never burden my today with cares about my tomorrow, although that takes some practice. Each day is sufficient unto itself. I shall try to help You, God, to stop my strength ebbing away, tough I cannot vouch for it in advance. But one things is becoming increasingly clear to me: that You cannot help us, that we must help You to help ourselves. And that is all we can manage these days and also all that really matters: that we safeguard that little piece of You, God, in ourselves. And perhaps in others as well. Alas, there doesn’t seem to be much You Yourself can do about our circumstances, about our lives. Neither do I hold You responsible. You cannot help us, but we must help you and defend Your dwelling place inside us to the last. There are, it is true, some who, even at this late stage, are putting their vacuum cleaners and silver forks and spoons in safekeeping instead of guarding Your, dear God. And there are those who want to put their bodies in safekeeping but who are nothing more now than a shelter for a thousand fears and bitter feelings. And they say, ‘I shan’t let them get me into their clutches.’ But they forget that no one is in their clutches who is in Your arms. I am beginning to feel a little more peaceful, God, thanks to this conversation with You. I shall have many more conversations with You. You are sure to go through lean times with me now and then, when my faith weakness a little, but believe me, I shall always labor for You and remain faithful to You, and I shall never drive You from my presence.

More on Etty at http://www.ehoc.ugent.be/en

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Day 24: My Child [revised posting]


I Will Carry You

The Amy Grant song posted below (Day 23) reminded me of this black and white photo of my daughter in 1987. She was about 15 months. It’s one of my favorites.

It captures the essence of a child who completely trusts, laying down everything in the arms of one who cares. It’s a picture of feeling that all is well with the world—resting not for weariness, resignation, despair or surrender but in absolute security.

That’s how I would like to feel in the arms of God—possessed by the absolute that all is well with the world, resting not for weariness, resignation, despair or surrender. Not held down or coerced but secured by the simple gravity of being in the arms of someone who is able to carry me with the weight of a small child fitting perfectly in the crook of his neck, on the soft strength of his shoulders.

The parent-child relationship that God has designed feels no burden in the carrying because it is without a Why, or a “Y” —not so much carrying as caring.

Those of us who are human parents are always learning this. We so much want to carry every weight, failure, disappointment, hurt, mistake, sorrow of our children. We cannot. Only God can carry our children’s burdens, just as only He can carry our own.

Watching and walking by my children as they have grown up, I am having to unclutch, unclinch, unclasp my fingers from their lives. When they were small, I could carry them and the weight of their tears. But as the older two have grown into adults, I have had to let them down from my insufficient safety and limited strength, and allow them to walk on their own…prayerfully into the arms of God who can carry them.

A few weeks ago I was praying for my daughter, now 22 and a few weeks short of 23. I was going over the details of her life, talking to God about the decisions and opportunities before her. I went through my usual exercise of providing a litany of requests along with accompanying preferences, followed by my usual “discussion” with Him about pros/cons, and ending with what has become a ritual prying off of my hands on her existence.

Some minutes later in resuming other activities, I heard God say, “She’s not your daughter anymore.” I felt my heart respond, “Yes, she’s yours, Lord.”

I understood immediately. The time had come. While she will always be my daughter, she is no longer my little girl whom I can protect or command to stop, start, or turn. I felt relieved and sad at the same time—relieved that God will be there for everything she needs, all the time, in every capacity, beyond my ability; sad in the acknowledgement that a season had passed, a chapter ended..

I have said from my children’s birth that they are God’s. As the saying goes, our children are only on loan. Dan and I baptized them as infants, I holding firmly to my part of the covenant that I would raise them as best I could in the knowledge of Him—and demanding that God likewise keep His  part of the deal.

God seems to be saying that He’s coming through. He has not forgotten His covenant. He’s making good with me, as He made good with Noah, Abraham, David, Mary, and every one who holds on to His Promise.

I will carry you. That goes for my daughter, and it still goes for me.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Day 23: Carry You


Click to play
<br /> <br /><a href="http://www.metrolyrics.com/Amy-Grant-lyrics.html">Amy Grant Lyrics</a><br /><a href="http://www.metrolyrics.com/">Carry You Lyrics</a></embed>

This song by  Amy Grant reminds me that I don't have to bear everything by myself. Too often we think that the burden is ours to carry as we trudge a solitary path through life. As Christians we will even spiritualize it and laden our prayers with overwhelming responsibility.

But God says we were never meant to bear the weight of the world, only Jesus His Son can. Jesus says: Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

"Lay down your burden. I will carry you, I will carry you, my child, my child."

   (5625 KB)
Listen on posterous

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Monday, November 10, 2008

Day 22: When I Grow Up

When I Grow Up

Today in my small group, someone said, “I’ve been thinking about when I grow up….”

I love it when friends say that. It signals that we’re in a good place to learn, change, transform. It shows that we know we’re not done yet. We are only the current, 2008 model, far from the final product. Like cars, we need to have our engines tweaked, fuel efficiency increased, smoke emissions decreased, tires balanced, chips updated, batteries recharged, and owner’s manual explained…even though this will be the 300 day this year that God diagrammed how to turn the steering wheel in His direction.

Being teachable is a great quality. But the question still must be: Who are our teachers? Are there significant others whom we seek out because they know more than we know? That’s a good question to ask any follower of Jesus Christ. It is an even better, dare I say, more important question to ask leaders of followers of Jesus Christ.

As a person sometimes referred to as a leader, I believe everyone in a position of leadership should be able to answer questions like:
  • Who are your mentors whom you seek out for counsel?
  • Who are your teachers that help you acquire, understand and apply new knowledge?
  • Who keeps you accountable—professionally, personally, and spiritually?
  • Who can say “no” to you, and whose “no” will you accept?

It is dangerous place to be without a teacher. I know for my own good and others’ sanity that I must put myself under other people’s authority. That’s “put” not “resign” myself. I need people to whom I can go with big questions, stupid questions, practical questions. I need to know that there are people out there who can and will stop me when I grab the steering wheel and won’t let go.

It’s not enough to say, Oh God keeps me in check, God is my mentor, teacher, authority; He’ll tell me if I go rogue.

It’s not a question of whether God will speak up, but whether we will we hear it, admit to it, or obey it. If we are confident that God will exercise His leadership over us, we should be confident that He can use others to speak it as well.

So much of growing into a mature believer is Obedience — doing what God says to do even if it comes from someone else. It’s never easy, though, because we often mistakenly think that growing up means exerting total, perfect control. I am learning, however, that smaller obediences done frequently over time are much more effective and far less painful than having to later own up to a major disobedience.

It’s the essence of Matthew 5:21-30

"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Jesus is saying commit yourselves to the small obedience before your large disobediences get out of hand:

Put aside your anger towards your brother (small obedience) before you kill him (big disobedience).

Make your relationship right with humans (small conflict) before you try to make your relationship right with the Almighty God (big conflict).

Settle out of court (small payment) before the judge throws you into jail (your whole life and every last penny).

Look the other way before you have to tear out your eye. And if you can’t look the other way, blind yourself to temptation before temptation blinds you into damaging another person. Risk small losses before you lose everything.

As we grow, can we loose ourselves in complete obedience to God? Is it possible to willingly and unbegrudgingly say, “Yes, Lord!” It’s hard unless growing up means discovering that we can trust God with everything, even our life —just as Jesus His Son did. It’s not so hard if our relationship with God is entirely one of love. It becomes easy when we see His directions as expressions of His Love for us and when our response is purely driven by our Love for Him. A child who adores her Heavenly Father, that’s what I want to be when I grow up.

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Sunday, November 09, 2008

Music for Day 21: Every Move I Make

I went to bed thinking about Romans 8 and woke up with this song in my head.

Integrity Music version:
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Full-on hopping Korean version by Promise Keepers:
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Day 21: The Grace in Intercession


The Grace in Intercession

I was struck when I read yesterday’s November 7 Oswald Chambers reading from My Utmost for His Highest (see Day 20 posting for text). I turned to Dan and asked, “Is Oswald Chambers suggesting that intercession is not just prayer but action?”

Note in particular the highlighted sentences from the reading’s first paragraph:

The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, "I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that." All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints.

Chambers points to everyday circumstances, the things that occupy the normal routine of our lives, as the arenas where God can use us to bring others into a relationship with him.

In the scripture reference, Romans 8:28, the apostle Paul writes, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Chambers echoes Paul in saying that the piddly details of our lives—and not grand expositions of heroic proportions—that are the molecules, atoms, and particles that are the stuff of God’s purposes.

Yikes! Does that mean when I pour out the ketchup on my burger and fries that I’d better be extra careful because a little condiment could determine eternity for some unsuspecting soul nearby? Do my actions determine the fate of the Universe, or the fate of someone six degrees of separation from me? [swell of orchestra music]

No. The whole point is to not be anxious about performing well. The idea is to not be overcome by fear of failure or haunted by the possibility of missing some divine appointment. The point is to not think God casts a tyrannical stare upon our lives, that He’s just waiting for us to mess up or weighing whether our actions are fit for heaven.

Romans 8 is in fact a message of Hope. It begins with the bold absolute, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No condemnation. It rises with a crescendo of  “If God is for us, who can be against us?” [v 31], and wraps with the thundering, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” [vv 38-39]

The message is quite simply: RELAX.

It’s God’s work from beginning to end but we get to participate in it—not as bystanders but as players on the field in a game our God has already won.

Our Coach is the Holy Spirit, whom the Bible calls “advocate, counselor, and helper. The Spirit is God’s gift of himself, his intimate presence comfortable enough for human-sized capacity. The Holy Spirit lives in us, renewing and guiding us through our daily lives, and putting us in places where we impact the lives of others. All we need is to be available and watchful so that we recognize the movement of God and have the pleasure of seeing our lives intertwine with others so that we can praise God for it.

This idea brings a whole new understanding to intercession. Intercession doesn’t mean kneeling for hours on cold, hard floors, or finding the right words to pray for God’s help, or any activity that seems interminably boring, frustrating, helpless, or hopeless.

It does mean seeing others with God’s heart, feeling compassion for them, and taking that compassion to the Lord. It means stopping to listen, taking a moment to notice, turning when the Spirit moves us.

It might mean a kind word to someone having a hard day. It might mean giving to a ministry or cause that touches lives we can’t reach. It could require a simple “Thank you,” or “I’m sorry.” It might mean standing by someone’s side, or sitting in someone’s hospital room. It may be packing a child’s lunch in the morning, or tucking him in at night. It may be small words of blessing or loud shouts of, “Way to go!”

Intercession is what we do as part of our everyday lives as we walk with Jesus in the love of God. Intercession is all about grace, the grace of God within us that we spill out to others. For all we know, it may someday mean sharing ketchup with the table next to us.

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Saturday, November 08, 2008

Day 20: My Utmost For His Highest - The Undetected Sacredness of Circumstances


From Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest
http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/11/07/devotion.aspx

November 7, 2008
The Undetected Sacredness of Circumstances
We know that all things work together for good to those who love God . . . —Romans 8:28
[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=rom%208:28;&version=31;]

The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, "I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that." All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints.

Am I making the Holy Spirit’s work difficult by being vague and unsure, or by trying to do His work for Him? I must do the human side of intercession— utilizing the circumstances in which I find myself and the people who surround me. I must keep my conscious life as a sacred place for the Holy Spirit. Then as I lift different ones to God through prayer, the Holy Spirit intercedes for them.

Your intercessions can never be mine, and my intercessions can never be yours, ". . . but the Spirit Himself makes intercession" in each of our lives ( Romans 8:26 ). And without that intercession, the lives of others would be left in poverty and in ruin.

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Friday, November 07, 2008

Day 19: No Regrets

Live life with no regrets. That’s a life motto I took up the day my dad died.

He had lived a full life when died almost two years ago. He died quietly at home, in his bedroom, my mom holding his hand in the cool of the morning as the sun streamed gently from the east over the Pacific Ocean.

He went so quietly that my mother didn’t notice. He had been failing the two days prior. My sister, a physician like him, was home from San Francisco at the time. She called me around 9 am that morning and said that his pulse was weak and that his time was imminent, we should come over soon. She called back within 20 minutes to say, “Dad’s gone.” It was as if he slipped out the door.

That day, I knew that life needed to be approached with a no-regrets attitude.
  • When I have the power or even tiniest ability to forgive, do it—and do it again.
  • When I have the smallest urge to make a conciliatory gesture, do it.
  • When I have made a mistake that hurts others, own up to it.
  • When there is a misunderstanding because I have not communicated clearly, clarify.
  • When I have the opportunity to do something that I will later regret if I don’t, grab it.
  • When I see I can make a difference in someone else’s life with even a smile or thank you, express it.
  • When I appreciate someone’s work or effort, tell them.
  • When I understand that this prickly irritability really has to do with hormones, explain it.
  • When time spent doing insignificant things with someone I care about looks trivial, waste it.
  • When the small things in life suddenly look beautiful, admire them.
  • When I’ll never pass that way again, pass slowly.
  • When humility on my part can solve a problem, lay my body down.
  • When my weaknesses can accomplish more than my strengths, surrender.
  • If I can look back on my life and see a road that has led me to become a better person, thank God for it.
  • If I can learn from others, especially my children, be teachable.
  • If new perspectives change a situation from hopeless to hopeful, turn with them.
  • If old habits have outgrown their usefulness, retrofit them or discard them altogether.
  • If I don’t need something, don’t take it.
  • If I see the bright side of things, shine a light on them for others.
  • If I can extend grace to people who would benefit by a little slack, be generous with it.
  • If patience will make me a better person, practice it just a little longer than I think I can.
  • Whenever I can, tell those I care about that I love them.
  • When it’s hard to say I love you with words, show it without words.
  • When I think I hear God’s voice, listen.
  • When I know I hear God’s voice, follow.
  • When people pass out of my life, let them go gently.
  • When crying is necessary, don’t hold back.
  • Remember to say hello and goodbye, thank you and I appreciate you.

Live with no regrets.

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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Day 18: Does God Answer Prayer

Does God answer prayer?

If you were expecting a Yes or No answer, you don’t know me very well. And if you do know me, you might suspect correctly that it’s a trick question.

First, it’s not a good question. It’s not a well-framed question because it is based on assumptions that lead people astray rather than help them understand God.

It assumes that prayer is always a request and that those requests are reasonable. You might as well ask, “Do parents give their children what they ask for?” The answer would be, “It depends.” It depends on what the children are asking for. Are we asking God reasonable requests?

It assumes, if prayer is a request, that we know how to ask and what to ask for. It’s the difference between “Give us this day our daily bread,” and “Give me a big fat juicy steak.” The first concerns itself with humble primary needs, and the second with over-stimulated taste buds. We need to ask ourselves, “What should we be asking (praying) for?”

The question, “Does God answer prayer,” is an unfair proposition. It limits prayer to a one-sided understanding — the Yes/No model where God stands on the other side of wall, curtain, or impenetrable barrier. We stick our prayer requests under the door or through latched door, and he hands back his answer, “There!” Or he doesn’t answer at all.

When we make these assumptions, when we reduce God to a Yes/No question, we limit the infinite, indescribable, inconceivable person of God. In the Old Testament, Job and his friends try to explain why Job suffers, who God is, and whether God answers when people cry out . After more than 30 chapters of talking around God, God himself lays into them:

1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:
2 "Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
4 "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
[Job 38:1-4]*

God has answers beyond human understanding that make Yes/No propositions look stupid — stupid in the sense that they are without the intelligence, appreciation of the complex, wisdom, caring and love that differentiate humans made in God’s image from all the other creatures of the earth.

So now what? We begin by changing prayer from a question into a conversation, a dialogue, a dynamic relationship, dare I even suggest a dance.

We need to see the path of prayer – that what may seem like a binary answer: 1 or 0, yes or no — is really more like binary code, a series of 1’s and 0’s that act upon one another to produce a far larger, elegant masterpiece.

What may be No at one juncture may be Yes a little further down. What we hear as negatives and positives are simple redirection of our path to an ultimate outcome that we could not have imagined if we just stuck with a solitary Yes or No.

In Isaiah 1:18, God invites us:

"Come now, let us reason together,"
says the LORD.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.


He says that sin or wrong doing or feeling guilty or the worst that we are — do not have to stay that way forever. God overwrites the presumptions that block us from engaging with Him in meaningful relationship. God himself calmly sits us down and invites us to not so much negotiate a settlement as learn about the deeper matters of the heart with Him as our counselor.

Does God answer prayer? In short yes, always yes if we with him look for the answers together.

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Video: The Gospel in 6 Minutes | John Piper

Day 17

November 4, 2008 – a historic day in American history, the day the United States of America elected its first African American president.

It’s been a strange exercise to be so focused on prayer during the last 17 days running up to today. How nice, or should I say wise of God to move me into this frame of mind during this important election period. Not a political person by nature, I have felt more invested in the process because of praying. I also feel a calm in the aftermath and great hope for our country—and I should qualify that by telling you that I did not vote for Hawaii’s native son but for his opponent, and I feel un-agitated by the results.

That, I am discovering, is the nature of prayer. Conversation and contemplation with God has an equalizing effect, stabilizing life and creating equilibrium when everything else hangs in the balance. I guess we could call it "peace."

People are always asking me how things are going—good, bad, well, hard, happily, terribly could be answers. Most times I don’t really know how to answer honestly. I used to say a lot: “Busy. We’ve been really busy.”

But the truth is that Dan’s and my life is ALWAYS busy. That’s how it's been for 27 years; that's the norm. When are we not caught up in a project, program, problem that rocks our boat? Yup, our boat is pretty much rocking all the time. We man a boat always caught up in gale winds, towering ocean swells, fast currents, rocky coastlines, sweltering noons, and narrow straits. God hasn’t seemed to spare us the full open water experience.

[I should say, before your imaginations run wild, Dan and I are fine. We’re good, really good with each other. We happily share the same boat and neither of us plans to mutiny or sharply nudge the other before yelling, “Man overboard!”]

However, because our lives are ministry, our boat is a Life Boat. Ours is a little dinghy that rescues people amid the storms of life and also shows them how to sail through the storms.

Right now there are people around us who have debilitating diseases, dissolving marriages breaking apart, suicidal thoughts, financial melt downs, personal crises, and anxious, fearful hearts. Dan also has a church to pastor, together we have a separate ministry to continue, and we have children, family and friends we care for. That’s why our boat is always rocking.

More experience is not going to steady our boat. We cannot anticipate every maelstrom, nor get early warning on that rogue wave. Every change in weather means learning a new tact. And when we get caught in a perfect storm, the only thing we can do is ride it out, hang on for dear life, and pray.

That, my friends, is a good thing. We are getting good at riding out storms by praying through them. We pray to seek solutions, but in a storm the fix-its are seldom quick or easy. We pray to understand circumstances, but in a storm those circumstances are frequently beyond our control. We pray to find resolutions, but in a storm the origins are deep, emotional and often not logical. We pray for miracles, and sometimes the miracles look a lot different from the good weather and calm seas we seek.

It makes me think of Jesus calming the storm in Matthew 8:23-26:
Then [Jesus] got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

I am learning that prayer is having Jesus in the boat. Our boats will be rocked: life is rocky. I can guarantee that, whether or not you are in ministry. We just cannot cross the ocean without encountering storms and we cannot control the storms. However, in the tipping and toppling, the swishing and sloshing, Jesus sits in the center and calls us to sit with him and see life from his perspective. He takes us through the ups and downs of life.

Prayer is perspective and patience in a rocking boat, and on a rocky road to Washington.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Day 16

Monday, November 03, 2008

Day 15

I woke up this morning with an acute awareness of being on a journey learning about prayer that I didn’t really realize I was on until now.

I guess it’s kind of like falling asleep in a car and waking up and discovering that you’re headed out somewhere. The seat was just a seat, and now its become an amenity in transportation.

Or maybe it’s like going out for a walk and finding new roads, trails and neighborhoods that will take a long time to explore and become familiar with.

Most journeys hold both the familiar and yet unknown. And the best journeys take a certain adventuresome nature, held fast by an ability to keep one’s bearings in new territories.

When I was in college at UC Berkeley, I used to take long walks. I’d finish all my work on a Friday afternoon, then reward myself by setting off to explore the neighborhoods. Going on foot with a lightly packed backpack, I’d give myself maybe an hour max in one direction, and then head back, trampling along Berkeley’s funky sidewalks in the musty late afternoon air.

I loved those walks. It was before I started lap swimming. I’d have complete quiet to myself and could do what I wanted. That’s how I found Peet’s Coffee on Walnut St. on the north side. This was before Peet’s went commercial. You could only buy Peet’s at Peet’s in Berkeley. And they not only had coffee but exotic teas, like Pumphrey’s Blend and an herbal mint composite that no longer exists.

I discovered Nabolom Bakery, stuck behind Sweet Dreams toy store on College Avenue on the south side. I think it was run by a bunch of former Berkeley hippies – fresh ingredients and lots of butter gave the women employees with heads tied up in scarves and faded natural fiber pants smooth, rounded hips. The spectacular danish pastries were a personal treat that I’d take back to my apartment to savor later that night with a cup of hot coffee.

I always timed it carefully. I knew I couldn’t leave later than, say, 4:30 during fall or winter because I needed to get back to my apartment before dark. Some things don’t change: every Cal student knew you should never walk alone at night. But in the late fall and winter afternoons, you could walk fast in the cool air and smell the foliage and sometimes burning fireplaces that you never get in Hawaii.

I used to wonder if seeing me, people thought me strange. I traveled alone and with pretend purpose, walking quickly with head straight ahead as if I knew exactly where I was headed. I didn’t want to be mistaken for a lost soul. I always had a destination: College Avenue on the south side or Solano on the north side. But along the way, I would see things and think things, and when I got to my turn-around neighborhood, there were boutiques and neighborhood groceries to peek into. And then I would head back.

This spiritual journey that I have woken up to has that same feeling. God has me out for some exercise beyond my ken. Again, it’s only Him and me with a destination – but one that I am not entirely sure of. I’ve not walked these roads before.

And though the territory is strange, I’m not scared – because I keep looking ahead. My steps are marked with determination even though I’m just a young undergraduate in the university, or should I say universe of spiritual understanding.

I’ve a mild sense of exhilaration, not unlike the adrenaline rush you get from exercising. Moving my spiritual muscles, working them a little harder, pushing them just that much more causes me to breathe deep and expand – not my lungs – but my being. I am feeling parts of myself come slowly alive, called into use. Maybe that’s what prayer is: a breathing out of our lives and a breathing in of God’s.

Like those Berkeley walks, this journey takes time out of my day. But instead of it being something I put aside at the end of the week as a reward, I’m finding myself in the middle of it every day – not suddenly and strangely lost, as if I had awoken from sleep or amnesia – but more like I’ve been on a journey all along but now I’m looking up and viewing the scenery differently, with more detail and a running commentary from God.

Journey as allegory is a convention in English literature that goes back hundreds of years. Danté and Milton both wrote about trips to paradise and hell. My favored book by C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce likewise talks of a bus ride to heaven. We’re all on journeys that we sometimes fail to recognize. When we don’t put ourselves into the hands and guidance of God, maybe we end up like the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years, aimless and lost.

Where am I headed on this current journey with God? Lately it’s been inward, marked by introspection and elevated observation of how my small actions fit into God’s grander scheme. I suspect, however, that the inward will also lead me outward as God develops in me new reinforced strength to journey into situations in which I am truly a stranger but somehow look familiar to people I meet.

Coincidentally, I learned a new word tonight: GORK— an acronym used by medical practitioners for “God Only Really Knows.” That’s my journey right now. No highlighted map for the route I’ll take. No summarized itinerary of sites I’ll visit along the way. And that’s fine, I can live with that. Because as long as God really knows, I will be okay.


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Sunday, November 02, 2008

Days 13 and 14

End of Week 2 of our all-church 40-day fast. What am I learning?

Prayer changes me.
Amid the huge ups and downs in the stock market in these last two weeks, prayer has calmed me. It has forced me to seek a greater perspective, rather than confine my point of view to the day’s gains and losses.

I am learning to look for the quiet places and wait in the long silences where I can listen for God in my head and in my heart.

After I put out the fires in my life (those are easy), I eagerly run to the prayer closet in my mind where I shut the door to everything else that nags me.

I am becoming a better listener – of God and others, not jumping immediately into the conversation but processing conversations at the gut level as well as the head.

I am learning the value of waiting, waiting for God so that we can move forward together.

I am learning to call upon the Holy Spirit to help me understand my own thoughts, to process with the mind of God and take one step at a time.

I am learning restraint in others’ lives, holding back personally guided, well-intended but perhaps unhelpful advice so that they have the privilege of doing the right thing rather than being "told" the right thing.

I’m learning how to make decisions with greater objectivity and less subjectivity. I am discovering the merits of forcing myself to step back and trying to put selfish desires in check. When I do, I often find that God has either filled or taken away my need.

I am developing a greater sense of humor and an enlarged attitude of gratitude. I am minding less getting wet when my boat gets rocked.

I am learning to appreciate myself more – the way God made me.

I am learning to accept the differences in others better, working to understand them better and judge them less.

I am developing a new theology about money and eternity – that money is best spent on others and that relationships are the treasures of heaven.

I am reveling more in the pleasure of simply being with God.

I am growing more sensitive to His presence, His nearness, His goodness and faithfulness.

I am learning to talk to God about my heart’s desires, and then give them up to Him.

I am learning to release those I love most to God so that He take them on a journey far beyond my capabilities.

I am feeling a constitutional change that I hope is transforming me into someone who speaks Jesus without saying anything.

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Friday, October 31, 2008

Day 12


Tonight a friend’s husband who is a semi-practicing Jew but who more honestly calls himself an agnostic — asked Dan and I to pray for him. Here’s his deal, something he’s stated openly for the last year: If God heals me of my chronic health condition, I will become a faithful believer and member of your church touting all its merits.

So we prayed for him — openly, in a public restaurant, eyes closed, hands held. No one could mistaken we were praying. And that’s the interesting thing.

Jake (I’ll call him Jake for anonymity’s purpose) asked US to pray for him. He brought it up. We talked no religion the two and a half hours previous, but now after coffee and dessert, he laid it out.

He reiterated that he acknowledges that God possibly exists because there is no other logical explanation for the creation of the universe. But outside of that he concedes nothing. A Jew, he cannot understand why God, if he really does exist, would allow the atrocities of the Holocaust and many of the other horrors of world history. However, this chronic condition has plagued him since childhood and IF God healed him, Jake would concede everything.

What did I say yesterday (Day 11) about tests? As much as this sounds like a test of God, it really is not so much a test as a request. A request with a familiar ring, a New Testament ring.

Many people came to Jesus because they were at the ends of their ropes. In Matthew 9 we see in succession: a paralytic, the father of a dead daughter, a woman with the 12-year hemorrhage, two blind men, and a demon possessed man. They sought out Jesus because he offered the possibility of hope when all else had failed. These were not tests of God’s existence or power. They were real cries for help. Just like Jake’s.

So we prayed for him. Nothing has happened yet. Maybe when he wakes up tomorrow something will have happened – maybe not. We don’t know if or when God will heal Jake of his physical condition. Yet I know God wants to heal Jake of his spiritual condition, and I think God will because I could see in Jake’s eyes a willing desire to make good on his pact. He wants to be healed, and if he is healed, that’s enough for him to follow Jesus. It would be a good thing if Jake were healed.

I think Jake is a seeker. He wants to believe but he doesn’t have a reason. He’s witnessed his believing wife’s experience but he seeks an experience and reality of his own. Don’t we all.

Jake doesn’t want to believe because people told him to or because it’s smart or fashionable. He doesn’t want to believe by default or because it seems like a good idea. Jake wants a reason to believe, something he can give first-hand testimony about and attest to down to the core of his being..

Therefore he came to us—not, I think, because Dan’s a pastor, but because he feels he can trust us. He can trust us with his weaknesses. He feels safe expressing his doubts. And (I would like to think) he perhaps sees in us an authentic, ongoing experience of Jesus Christ that he could fit into his life.

That’s a compliment. That’s the kind of pray-er I want to be—someone to whom others feel okay bringing their worst and not just their best. Not just complaints but honest, deep in the hole, help-me-if-you-can-Lord, requests —the ones that say, “Change me.”

If you have read this and have a chance, would you pray for Jake with me? I’ll let you know what happens.

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Day 11


Test or Testament
Is your underwear showing?

Today’s 1st Prez E-100 devotional, written by Drew Hulse, was on Gideon [online at http://fpchawaii.posterous.com/first-prez-e100-day-28]. I love Drew’s observation: Gideon had grown up in a land of unfaithfulness.

He explains in full: Most of us tend to pick up the story of Gideon with him hiding in a winepress, threshing wheat, and hoping the Midianites don’t see him and take his crop. [Judges 6:1-7:25] We see Gideon as weak and afraid, and he might be. The question is, why? What put him in the winepress? Gideon had grown up in a land of unfaithfulness. God had delivered the Children of Israel out of Egypt, given them the land and a future, and had called them to worship Him as God alone. They proceeded to fall in love with the gods of the Amorites and to abandon the One True God who had given them life. God, whom Gideon had only heard about but never seen at work (due to the lack of faithfulness of his elders), was now the one calling Gideon to faithfulness.

We often question “nature versus nurture” in considering just how the heck we got to be the way we are. Nurtured by family and friends who had acted unfaithful towards God, Gideon grew up in an environment where no faith was demonstrated. The result was that Gideon himself was not so much unfaithful as faithless.

He had heard old stories, but seen no evidence of God. Everyone around him had abandoned God. So when the angel comes and tells Gideon that God is going to use him and act through him, Gideon puts God to the test.

People still put God to the test with, “If you really exist, God, give me a car, help me pass that test, find me a spouse, get me out of trouble, make my life easier.”

The problem with that, however, is the test. Those tests are not so much about proving The Man but getting The Stuff, and The Stuff will always get in the way of seeing The Man.

That being the case, instead of answering a test, God more often uses a testament. God won’t perform upon command, but he will point to evidence of his existence—our lives.

The longer that we live with God, the less he becomes the garment we put on—the clothes we wear when we decide, when it’s convenient, when we remember, when it’s expected or commanded.

The more familiar and comfortable we become with God, the less we see him as “dress clothes,” ill-fitting special occasion apparel that make us look good but which we can’t wait to get off when we get home.

The more at home we are with God, the more he feels like a favorite shirt, well-worn sweater, nubby socks, that we don’t want to change into and not take off.

God becomes the thing we feel naked without—our underwear. He becomes the first layer, close to the skin, that we put everything else over. And that’s what we want to show: God whom we wear under all.

That becomes or most powerful testament. Beyond what we preach or pray, do or say, our underwear is the truest evidence of God’s existence.

Are we read to show it, though?

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

PICT0144

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Day 10


Tonight I am contemplating the age-old question: Does prayer change things?

I started scanning the web for insights and was reminded that Philip Yancey wrote on a book on that very topic.
Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference? I’ll have to borrow that one from Dan’s library if he has it.

If nothing else, praying changes me. My praying – the act of prayer – changes ME. Whether I am praying for someone else or praying for myself, whether long or short, public or personal, I come away from the space that prayer creates as a changed person.

Maybe in our prayers, that is the starting point: our attitude, understanding, and response when transformed by leaning into God shapes our interactions with others. We are the beginning of their chain reaction, or should I say “change” reaction.

James writes in his epistle (James 5:13-16):
13Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. 14Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

James instructions are about taking the initiative and responding in prayer whatever our current condition. Prayer is about taking steps in God’s direction. Maybe when we open the door a smudge wider, others get a wider view of the other side, and that then changes them.

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Day 9


Oswald Chambers’ reading yesterday (October 26) for My Utmost for His Highest  - read one day late, caught my eye this morning. It says:

WHAT IS A MISSIONARY?
"As My Father hath sent Me, even so send I you." John 20:21

A missionary is one sent by Jesus Christ as He was sent by God. The great dominant note is not the needs of men, but the command of Jesus. The source of our inspiration in work for God is behind, not before. The tendency to-day is to put the inspiration ahead, to sweep everything in front of us and bring it all out to our conception of success. In the New Testament the inspiration is put behind us, the Lord Jesus. The ideal is to be true to Him, to carry out His enterprises.

Personal attachment to the Lord Jesus and His point of view is the one thing that must not be overlooked. In missionary enterprise the great danger is that God's call is effaced by the needs of the people until human sympathy absolutely overwhelms the meaning of being sent by Jesus. The needs are so enormous, the conditions so perplexing, that every power of mind falters and fails. We forget that the one great reason underneath all missionary enterprise is not first the elevation of the people, nor the education of the people, nor their needs; but first and foremost the command of Jesus Christ - "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations."

When looking back on the lives of men and women of God the tendency is to say - What wonderfully astute wisdom they had! How perfectly they understood all God wanted! The astute mind behind is the Mind of God, not human wisdom at all. We give credit to human wisdom when we should give credit to the Divine guidance of God through childlike people who were foolish enough to trust God's wisdom and the supernatural equipment of God.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *
I translated and reinterpreted that into “What is an Intercessor?”  - the second line striking a chord:

“The great dominant note is not the needs of men but the command of Jesus.”

I realized that in praying for others, we can so easily get caught up in their needs rather than God’s answer. Mercy, or maybe more accurately human sympathy, makes the best of us and we want their prayers to be answered just as they requested it.

Today in our staff meeting, Jenny who is 9 months minus 2 weeks pregnant (she’s due Nov 13) asked, “Pray that my labor starts right after I drop Grant off at preschool in the morning. That way I’ll be all dressed, Grant will be taken care of while I’m in labor, and basing it on Grant’s 8-hour labor, I should have the baby just in time for Carl to pick up Grant from school and then visit me in the hospital.”

Jenny was kidding – okay, only half kidding because it would be really convenient for it to work out that way – but she was honest enough with her friends to share her specific request with God, and we loved her for it.

God doesn’t mind; but he also doesn’t always answer in those specific ways. Because then Who would be God? Who would be in control and without knowledge and understanding of how all the other pieces of the puzzle fit. As Oswald writes, we want the answer to be “our conception of success.”

Now it’s one thing to request that of God – and that’s totally okay because we are limited in our perception of the possibilities out there, so we plan and ask for what is possible.

But an intercessor, if we want to truly pray the best for those for whom we intercede, we need to lay down the request and ask for the even more that is God’s answer to prayer.

There is no way that we can anticipate God’s better, fuller, more complex, elegant, indescribable solution. I am learning that the best we can do is anticipate a semblance of what that might look like but leave the details up to God.

As intercessors, we must cultivate a playfulness, a willingness to change the rules, the rewards, the winner. It’s what Chambers says in the last line: [we must be] childlike people who were foolish enough to trust God's wisdom and the supernatural equipment of God.

That says to me that we can delight in God’s answers if we trust him.

The other thought I have been playing with today came up in my Sunday small group as we talked yesterday about Predestination and being chosen – or in non Presbyterian terms, knowing that we have an eternal life with God. We know the end story. We know what will happen at the end of this earthly life, and we know that God will make a new heaven and earth at the end of the world’s story.

If we know the end, then, perhaps our concern should be not what happens at the end but our journey there. How will we spend that journey? God has given us extreme freedom in getting to the end, and we can choose how will we work through the process. Will it be with Him or without Him? Will it be alone or with others? We can choose to fight God and others all the way. Or we can choose to appreciate the company God’s given us and laugh, cry, learn together. We can choose to disagree with God and act the distasteful contrarian. Or we can indulge ourselves in the myriad of experiences that God wants to see us through.

Who would have thought this 40  Day Fast would hold so much? At the outset, I thought of it as a desert, a deprivation, a getting through. But I am learning to much, its like every cactus has a flower, every desert an oasis, and I’m learning to walk in the cool and dark of the night.

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Day 8


Day 8
As God would have it, Day 8 was a Sunday and spent in the active practice of prayer at our church. Interesting, huh?

It came in two parts. Dan’s sermon was on Samson and his misuse of his gifts. He challenged us to consider whether we were using the gifts God has given so generously to each of us for ourselves or for the kingdom. At the end of the worship service, Dan he an invitation to people to either make a first time commitment to following Jesus Christ.

Oh me of little faith, I was startled in the third service, the smallest of our services, to see people jumping out of their seats and streaming down the aisle until there was no room at the front. They came alone. They came hugging spouses and friends. And there were lots of tears.

Seeing that Dan did not have enough elders and prayer team members to pray with people, I went forward to help and ended up praying with two women. I never know exactly what to pray with these people, not knowing their stories and not wanting to assume anything. But it is always a privilege to welcome their further step into God’s arms.

I know that every step is part of the process of God unfolding our lives. Moments like these are markers – but I am always praying, hoping that they don’t become plateaus. Decisions to follow Christ are not accomplishments but opening a door. I asked the Holy Spirit to become even more real in the two people with whom I prayed. He really is the best teacher, and His powerful filling is the fastest way to discovering intimacy with God.

The second part was our healing service in the evening. I was disappointed that the two men, as it turned out, didn’t have an obvious health problems that we could test for healing right away. Instead, they had long-term issues, one a chronic health condition, the other a long separation from his children because of unresolvable marital difficulties. Those were hard. I had no answers, no wisdom. I felt no overwhelming passion or strong connection.

But I guess God just wanted me to pray with them and offer comfort. I’m hoping that God used my gift of a listening ear and a comforting word.

I’m learning that as a pray-er, I don’t have the answers. That’s not my job or responsibility. They thirst but I don’t have the contents, only the cup that I can carry to their lips.

I am learning to become detached and not be anxious for the answer they want.

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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Day 7


End of the first seven days and first week of our church fasting

What I’m Learning About Prayer
Most prayers aren’t answered the way we want them answered. We want our problems to go away immediately and without any residual aftereffects as if the need for prayer never existed. We want a miracle and we want it now.

But it just doesn’t happen that way. That’s a statistical fact. Few people are healed instantly, even less raised from the dead. Financial worries don’t disappear over night. That prodigal son or daughter returns home but with most of the same baggage. Traumas leave scars. Yet, prayers are still answered, and they are no less miraculous.

I’m learning there is always a cost—time, space, resources, emotions, strength. The answers to our prayers take time, not just the minutes, days or years ticking away, but time from others who sit down with us while the answer comes to completion. They require moving things around. They requires others to give. They task us, and tire us.

Couldn’t God just zap it!? He could, but what would we learn – about others and about ourselves? We develop patience because we have to wait. We become compassionate because we begin to feel deeply. We find wisdom when the answers are not easy. We love others when we walk slowly through their lives with them.

Prayer is a gift. That we could talk to the Creator and know that He is listening, that we could pour out our feelings to Someone who can absorb all the pain and frustration and helplessness that wracks our bodies, that we can know that when we have reached our human limitations we can reach toward the Divine — that and the even more of prayer is a continually unwrapping gift. We can never empty out the gift of prayer.

And intercessory prayer, I am learning, is not the onerous, laborious, heavily depressing task that it appears. Praying for others and their needs is helping me understand eternity and how long God’s arm is. Praying for my friends does not drop like a heavy stone into my life, as if the answers were my responsibility. Instead, praying for those whom God has called me feels like a gift because I can help them carry the weight. Carry the weight, not hold the weight – carry it to God.

How do I know God answers prayers? Because he has answered prayers in my life, few the way I demanded, but perfectly in the way He deconstructs them and reconstructs me.

Prayer does change me, and when I am changed I can do the thing I could not, would not do before. It enables me to give without thought of myself, to love others with the mirrors faced outward.


*      *      *      *      *      *      *      *     *
On my prayer list
My financial advisor and his staff as they help clients be heavenly minded with our earthly treasures.
A young friend getting married next week whose job future is uncertain
A daughter whose mother has a critical heart problem in need of surgery
Friends whose employers have announced job cuts
A mom who learned recently that both her adult children have genetically based auto-immune disorders
Our country, the upcoming elections, the candidates and their families and staff
My family, my children, Dan my husband
The healing service at 1st Pres Honolulu at Koolau tomorrow (today), October 26, 2008

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

Heaven will work backwards


Excerpt from “The Great Divorce” by C.S. Lewis, one of my very favorite books.

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Day 6


“Ladder up.” The phrase popped into my head on waking this morning and stuck al day.

It started yesterday (see Day 5) but grew from a noun to a verb phrase overnight  - changing from an image to an action, from a concept to a conduct, from an understanding to an undertaking. It grew from a word from God to the word of God:

Genesis 28:
10 Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Haran. 11 When he reached a certain place, he stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep. 12 He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. 13 There above it  stood the LORD, and he said: "I am the LORD, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. 14 Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. 15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

16 When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, "Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it." 17 He was afraid and said, "How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven."

When God told me “ladder” yesterday, it framed two constructs. First the idea that God and we operate on two different levels. No wonder what appears impossible for us is absolutely possible for God. It is in the impossible, miraculous things, in fact, that God shows himself.

God is, as my friend Jeff Schulte puts it, “wholy (or holy) other.” He is not of this world, He is Creator OF the world and, therefore, outside and beyond the creation. We can’t relate to Him because he exists on an entirely different plane. That’s why he can do things that are supernatural. He is super natural – as the word implies, above nature.

Second, while the ladder demonstrates there is a gap, it is at the same time the connection bridging the two planes of existence. God has provided a way for us to access Him and not merely and forever live apart from him.

However “ladder UP” goes even further. Ladder up tells me that I need to look up, reach up climb up. Ladder up instructs me to carry the impossible concerns of this world to God.

I’m not to scheme or solve but to ladder up.
I’m to have compassion but to also ladder up.
I wont’ find the answers here on this plane so need to ladder up.
I can strain over pleas of prayer and pleasing prayer, but how much more freeing to actively ladder up.

Laddering up is active, it’s external. But right now, I’ve got to ladder down. Let’s see what God does tomorrow.


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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Day 5




Today I am thinking about impossible situations.

The readings this week in our church’s E-100 devotionals (the Essential 100 scriptures) were rift with impossible situations:
  • How to cross the Red Sea when Pharoah’s army is hot on your tail
  • How to convince people that you have a good plan (the 2 spies entering Canaan)
  • How to lead a nation of people when you’ve never had any experience and don’t know where you’re going
  • How to cross a river when an army is not chasing after you
  • How to conquer a city (Jericho) with people who have never fought before

At the same time, I am hearing from friends whose lives are filled with impossible situations. A mom with terminal cancer. Parents crushed with a mountain of debt. A spouse with Alzheimer’s who can’t remember where the bathroom is. A woman who dies every day when her heart stops beating for a few moments. A dad facing a 40% cut in his company’s work force.

How do we get through this? How do I pray for my friends when there aren’t ready answers?

The examples of the first set of scenarios set precedence for answers to the second. God’s answers impossible situations with impossible solutions. The impossible can only be matched by something of equal or greater impossibility: part the Red Sea, dry up the waters of the Jordan, collapse the walls of a great city with trumpets and shouting.

We’ve tried the possible, so now it’s time to try the impossible.

What am I praying for? I guess for the miraculous. I need to seek what I cannot see. I need to ask God to reveal His angle and perspective. I need to stand aside and get out of the way of forces beyond my awareness. I need to prepare myself for the extra-ordinary and the super-natural. I may need to get my feet a little wet. I may need to do something stupid, look foolish, entertain the ridiculous.

I may need to get my game on in a new way. I may need to fight, I may need to yell, I may need to stand up and do something I’ve never done before but bank that God will carry it through. I will likely have to change my game plan, alter my goals, adjust my expectations. Maybe I’ll learn I’m in the wrong game.

I think I’ll be doing something I’ve never done before, something I thought not possible. And I don’t know what that is. If I did, I guess I’d be God.

Prayer: God, I need you to be God. You are going to turn my world upside down. I am allowing that - as if I really had a choice. Help me to hold on to you while you give me new bearings. Help me to let go of the things that cause pain in the holding on. Break through, Lord,
with your Holy Spirit. Empower me with the obedience that makes the impossible possible.

Answer from God: It’s in the Day #5 graphic. Get a ladder. That’s what prayer is – the means to reach up, the connection between you and Me.

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Day 4

Sitting with God
When I pulled the first stroke of my regular swim, all I wanted to do was sit with God, sit with God, sit with God. I’d spent the morning doing with God, for God, with God intentions. I had had good results. But I had enough of the doing. I just wanted to sit by him. All I could imagine was being close to him. So I swam and sat, swam and sat, swam and sat, sat, sat. Not a Mary/Martha distinction of Mary choosing the better by sitting and listening to Jesus, I sat for the presence and feeling of being close. I wanted nothing but to be by God’s side. No running or trying or asking or seeking approval. It was time to sit.

Strength
Something happens when you just sit with God. It’s like osmosis. You suddenly feel stronger, like plugging yourself into a battery charger but without a current. How is that possible? I don’t know. It just happens. The strength comes from the inside, not the outside. I guess one could call it feeling whole or healed. I swam harder and the strength began to build without dissipating.

Questions for God
Feeling better, I asked God the question of the week (see Days 1-3): Do my prayers matter? Do you hear me? Are you answering me?

It came back a resounding yes. And he gave me example after example: You wanted me to show you if it’s My will that your Chinese “godson” come and visit the family to experience Christmas – and as of yesterday, he’s coming on an affordable airfare. You asked if you have a calling as an intercessor, and I’ve sent people asking you to pray for them about difficult, real, personal issues. You asked how does an intercessor pray, and I’m showing you how now.

Big ears
My friend Christy got an image of me over the summer. She wrote: "I saw Pam with very big ears. Asked God what that was and I sense again that He’s going to speak in ways that are louder and louder to her – and to trust your gut Pam – it’s Him. Perhaps gifts of 'hearing' – prophecy, revelatory gifts too?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I hear from God," I thought not quite dismissively. But I take any “prophetic” word for me not so much cautiously but without expectation. I know that if I focus on that word, I will obsess, or maybe I will make it a self-fulfilling prophecy with no credit to God.

But today I heard: I have given you big ears so that you will know how to pray. If you want to pray with efficacy, you will want to hear what I am saying. That’s how your will, your prayers, meld with my will. That’s how your questions get answered, how what you hear become my answers.

Whoa. I heard that. Now I’m learning how to pray.

One last thing
I heard God reminding me: Remember, Pam, when you were young, when you were a little girl and maybe even a long time after that, you thought you were small. You aren’t tall, never were, but you also felt small. You felt like no one saw you, that people looked over you. And that hurt because no one should be looked over. You cried because you wanted to be seen. You tried because you felt you ought to be seen, but even then you were never sure that you were. I see you. I see you. I see you. And you know that now.

Yes, I do know that, Lord. When I was little, I caught glimpses. And I am no bigger, no smaller than who you made me to be. And I'm hearing this:

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:11-12)

*Hint: To get the fuller impact, read all of 1 Corinthians 13.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Day 3


Fasts always start with good intentions and quickly wane. Here we are at Day 3 and I’m hearing the song and dance: Old habits are hard to break.

I have to be extremely intentional – which is why implementing a new spiritual discipline (the heart of fasting) best involves something that gets not just my Intention but my Attention. Today that something is abstaining from games on my iPod.

Stopping, holding back – having to forcibly use my strength and feel my will turn away from that one little game – really required muscle. Don’t reach for it, don’t, don’t, don’t! Arrgghh, and why am I doing this? Oh yeah, so I will focus on my relationship with God. Bingo! Pain and loss work well in our lives because when we feel it, we have to figure out what to do with it.

The other part of my fast, praying for my friend, my financial advisor, I really had to think about. What would be a good prayer? What is going on his day and in his office that needs more than a Band-aid. Where and how might the Holy Spirit make a felt difference? How does God want me to look at my friend as I am praying? Beyond his occupation, I think, and beyond results to where God is moving him.

Today, my small group talked about Joshua 1 where the Lord gives Joshua command over the Israelites to take them into the Promised Land. God tells Joshua three times, “Be strong and courageous.” That’s a word for us. Every move forward is a step into new territory that takes strength and courage. And God says, “I am with you.”

What I am learning:
  • Interceding in prayer requires seeking God’s eyes, perspective, and truth.
  • We are never alone.

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Monday, October 20, 2008

40 Day Fast

Every fall, our church family engages in a 40-day fast that ends on Thanksgiving Day. The object is to seek greater intimacy with God by giving up a practice that can distract us from his presence in our lives. I've decided, therefore, to use this blog to observe, record, and reflect on what happens during these 40 days.

Day 1
Okay, so I thought about the fast. Actually, I had been thinking about it for at least a week and what I would do for it. These fasts always have a very positive impact on me. Sometimes I abstain from something. And sometimes I engage in something.

One time I went vegetarian and did not tell my family - on purpose. That was part of my deal. They never did find out. Something I learned on that round was how much attention my husband and kids really pay attention to me - ha! ha!

Several times, I have abstained from buying anything I really don't need. Makes me think twice, thrice about my needs vs. my wants and also makes me appreciate how much God already has supplied me.

Once I completely abstained from visual media: no TV, no magazines or newspapers. That meant that when I went to the doctor's office or hair cutters, all those piles of People Magazines were off limits. What a mind purger that was!

On a more recent fast, I tried, I really tried, to go to sleep every night before midnight. Note I said I tried. No further comment.

End of Day 1: Just don't do anything stupid that I might consider for a fast.

Day 2
That's today.
Realized that my best fasts are those that God calls me to. In other words, when it’s His idea and not just mine. Maybe that's why the "sleep before midnight" thing didn't work. Getting enough sleep's just plain good for my health. Maybe I'll instigate that anyway, not for the fast but just as a health discipline for my own good.

God did tell me something today that I feel called to undertake as part of my fast:
Pray daily for my financial advisor and his office staff.

This is not just because of the current market turmoil, although my advisor said when I told him that he would like the prayers to help him think clearly through the financial smog. I just have never consistently prayed for him. And I should. He and his staff have a ministry to me and the people connected to me. It’s not about the money but about God’s future for me and my family and others we impact:
  • God’s provision of college educations to equip my children to use their gifts and serve others with greater capacity
  • resources that we can use to support churches and ministries
  • investing God’s treasures as in the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25

And how do I know it’s his idea and not mine? Simply, because I would not have thought of it on my own. I’m just not that good.

End of Day 2:
I am thinking about whether intercession is a spiritual gift. Are there really gifted intercessors? Or:
  1. Are the people who others consider “powerful prayers” seen as more effective because they are further along the road in spiritual growth and, therefore, have their wills more frequently and more closely aligned with God’s will?
  2. Do they make others feel better by giving the sheer assurance that one is being prayed – and that in turn or comforts and gives peace?
  3. Knowing that we are not alone and that someone else knows our concerns allow us to be more willing to accept God’s answers about a situation, even though we may not have liked it before?
  4. Are we all called to pray for one another (yes, duh) - but when we actually engage in prayer with true love and concern, does that change every thing?

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Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Long and the Short of It

"Six-word memoirs. Four-word film reviews. Twelve-word novels."

Time Magazine described it as "Haiku Nation," (Time, August 21, 2008 issue). I'm inspired.

I've always loved poetry—for a reason. They're short.

Care to plumb the depths of a few well-chosen words? I'm there. Better than soaking in a bath where the water is always too cold or too hot and which holds the potential to relax drowning—or drown relaxing, whatever the case may be.

The most challenging and rewarding classes I took as an English major at Cal Berkeley were those by Prof. Janet Adelman (now emeritus) in which we read ALL of Will Shakespeare's plays over two 10-week quarters and which demanded we write notated double-spaced papers no longer than 2 pages long. Fitting. If Shakespeare could capture the psychological depths of guilt with the three words "Out, damn spot!" (Macbeth Act 5, scene 1, 26–40), the least we could do was keep it similarly short.

So, here's to a new season of blogging. Same old (new) thots. Fewer words. And my first play:

No.


Sunday, December 09, 2007

For What It's Worth

Every American traveling to China will ask about China’s One-Child Policy as sure as he or she asks about the Great Wall, bargain shopping, and “what exactly is that meat I’m eating?”

For many Americans, the One-Child Policy equates with China as searingly as Maoism, the Cultural Revolution, Tiananmen Square, and foot binding. The right to bear children (or not) is as sacred as the right to bear arms. The right to choose our fate, express our individuality, to have no bindings on our feet, speech, earnings, education, or sexuality is our American Pie.

But nothing is as simple as it looks.

Many Chinese families have more than one child. People from ethnic minority groups are excluded from the One-Child Policy, as well as couples who both come from single-child families. Our guide in Yangshuo outside famed Guilin was from the Yao minority group and the seventh child in her family. Our daughter spent time in a mid-size Chinese city this summer where officials look the other way in response to the heavily Catholic population.

However, when the policy is upheld, couples are assessed a fine commensurate with their income. The more money you make, the more children you have, the more you pay. Fines rise to as much as six times one’s annual salary, and can double again—the equivalent of 12 years work—if a couple is extremely wealthy.

In these situations, what do parents do? They simply pay.

In his exquisite book River Town, Peter Hessler recounts his two years living in the town of Fuling along the Yangtze River in the late 1990s. A Peace Corps worker, Hessler taught English in a teachers college, and he inevitably addresses the One-Child Policy:

My students were part of the last peasant generation whose fines had been minimal. The second-year speaking class had thirty-five students, of whom only two were single children. Those two were free and the rest had cost very little, if anything at all. Diana cost one hundred yuan. Davy’s little brother cost three hundred yuan. Rex had a 650-yuan sister, while Julia’s brother was only 190. Jeremy was one hundred yuan. He was the sixth child in his family, and the older five had all been girls. That was a very well spent one hundred yuan if you were a Chinese peasant. [River Town, p 263]

A ¥190 yuan fine for Julia’s brother was at that time less than US$25. ¥300 for Davy’s little brother amounted to US$36 and change — a small price to pay, not to just bear a son who would carry on the family name but a son bearing the filial responsibility of caring for his parents in their old age. In traditional Chinese culture, sons are as much one’s pride as one’s insurance policy, retirement, social security, and long-term health care—an incomparable investment.

Fines today are much steeper than a mere few hundred yuan. But many Chinese are both more wealthy and no less desirous of children, son or daughter. I read of one expectant couple throwing down ¥200,000 (current US value $26,000) on an official’s table as if to defiantly say “Just try to stop us.”

What of our worth? What would someone throw down for us—even before we were born and knew what we could do, what we looked like, whether they liked us, whether we were worth it?

For years, I had little idea of my worth—didn’t know my value, how to weigh it, whether I measured up. Could I quantify it with how much my parents spent to feed, clothe, and educate me? Could I measure it by what people said about me or in the dossier of accomplishments I scrambled so hard to garner? If I disappeared off the face of the earth, would anyone notice? What price would someone pay for me?

In another chapter, Hessler writes of hiking through the rural mountains outside of Fuling. He encounters peasant farmers working the fields and the conversation eventually turns to children:

Some children had come over to look at me, and I noticed two small boys standing together.
“What about them?” I asked. “They look like brothers.”

“That’s right,” the old woman said. “Their parents had to pay a fine.”
One of the boys was about four years old; his brother was six or seven. They were filthy, and they stood tentatively on a wheat terrace above us, afraid of the
"waiguoren" [pronounced “why-gwoh-rhjun,” meaning “foreigner”]. A little girl of about five came over—a tiny thing with wild black hair and dirt-smudged cheeks. Wide-eyed, the child stared at me. She had enormous coal-black eyes, like my youngest sister, Birgitta, when she was little. I smiled, and the girl smiled back.
“She’s the third in the family!” one of the women said.

“Oh,” I said. “They must have paid a big fine.”
“No,” the woman said. “Their house was tuile!”
[“tway-luh”]
“What?”

“Their house was tuile!”

“Tuile?”
“Right!”
I couldn’t believe it, so I quickly sketched the character on my notebook. “This tui?”

“That’s right.”

It meant a number of things: to push, turn cut, infer, shift, postpone, elect. But when you tui’ed a house it meant simply that you knocked it over. The local planned-birth officials had pushed over the girl’s house because she had been the third child.

I had read of such things in the foreign press, but I had always assumed that they only happened in very remote areas. But then I realized that I had been walking all day, and this small beautiful valley was nothing if not remote.
The old women were shaking their heads and looking at the little girl. She wasn’t comfortable hearing this conversation and something in her expression said: sorry. Undoubtedly there were complications to growing up when you knew that your birth had caused your family’s home to be knocked over. But there was also something else in her eyes; it was vague and undefined and meant, essentially: Some things are worth more than money and houses. The old women saw it, too. One of them tousled the girl’s hair, and then she ran off to play with the other children in the unplowed fields. [River Town, pp 353-355]

Tuile. Knocked down. But not knocked over.

Would someone have absorbed the same loss for you, for me? What is a life worth among the billions that have experienced the spark of life for even an instant? If we were an unwanted child — unwanted by people who decided ahead of time that our footprint was not worth taking up space—would someone pay a fine for us? Surrender 6 to 12 years’ wages so that we could have a room in their home? Allow their home to be bulldozed and run into the ground for our sake?

Some of us know that it’s already been done. But it wasn’t a just a house. It was everything he had. God the Creator of the Universe gave up His son, Jesus, so that we could live. Jesus allowed his whole life to be knocked over when he ws crucified. The Bible says “he was a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45 / Matthew 20:28) Jesus gave up his life for ours.

This is how Eugene Peterson rephrases what the apostle Paul writes in his Letter to the Romans:

Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him. [Romans 5:6-8, The Message]

I’d venture that Chinese family wasn’t ready when they came to knock down the house. The little girl certainly wasn’t. She was absolutely helples. She hadn’t lived long enough to be deemed good or worthy or noble. But they ran it over anyway, as if they could run over her life, erase her existence.

When Christ died more than 2000 years ago, before we were even born or conceived in our parents’ or friends’ or any government officials’ minds — when he died so we could live, what were we worth? Not anything humans could see, but in our eternal Father’s heart, more than imaginable.

The best part of any good story is in the afterafter the house is knocked down, after the money is thrown down, after Jesus died. Only after do we realize we have worth.

It’s then that we develop the vague something that makes us stand out amid the rubble of a fallen house.

It’s then that our hearts become imprinted with the words “Even Though.” Even Though others thought us worth nothing, Even Though we violated policy and were not part of their plan, Even Though we believed we had no value, Even Though our lives were of no use whatsoever… someone paid the fine and gave up everything for us.

As Peter Hessler writes, “Some things are worth more than money or houses.”

We’re what it’s worth.

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Monday, November 12, 2007

Safety Zone

On a recent weekend, my husband Dan and I had the privilege of seeing the film "Nanking." It was the last weekend and the last evening of the Hawaii International Film Festival—the last of only two showings at the festival—and Dan got the last two tickets at the box office.

The film documents the 1937 occupation by the Japanese imperial army of Nanjing, China (romanized “Nanking” during that time). Beginning with the December 13, 1937 invasion and over the 50 days, the Japanese army killed
more than 200,000 people and raped 20,000 women —according to the post World War II International Military Tribunal for the Far East, also known as the “Tokyo Trials.” Other reports claim numbers exceeding 300,000 killed and 30,000 women raped. History now remembers it as “The Rape of Nanking.”

Amid the horrific, hardly mentionable atrocities, some 250,000 Chinese people were saved by a small, unlikely group of ex-patriots: twenty-two Europeans and Americans that included missionaries, businessmen, an American surgeon, a Nazi, and the headmistress of a women’s missionary college.

The Japanese seized Shanghai, China’s major port to the northeast, on November 12th, then began their march down the Yangtze to Nanjing, China’s then capital. The Chinese government fled to Chongqing in the southwest. Foreign businesses evacuated their staff. Chinese with any means to leave and save their families did—leaving behind those who could not: the poor and the weak from Nanjing and the surrounding countryside.

But twenty-two men and women, who had the chance, refused to leave. Nanjing was their work, lives, love. Dr. Robert Wilson had grown up in Nanjing, the son of American missionary parents. He evacuated his wife and infant child to the States, but when his time came, he chose to stay — the only surgeon in the city. He wrote, “I can not pass up this opportunity to do something of the highest good” [my recollected paraphrase from the film].


Calling themselves the “International Committee for the Nanking Safety Zone,” the 22 marked out a 3.4 square-mile Safety Zone in the Western Nanjing area providing refuge, care, food, and protection for anyone within its bounds. Before evacuating, the mayor of Nanjing gave them municipal authority over the city once the government left. They elected the Nazi businessm
an to chair the committee, and sent the Japanese imperial government a formal letter to establish this sanctuary for the innocent. And when the Japanese imperial army entered the city on December 13, they stood their ground without weapons, armed only with their convictions. They put themselves between the Japanese army and the Chinese people, caring for men, women and children who had been beaten, bayoneted, raped, burned, widowed, orphaned, and left to die.

250,000 people were killed in 50 days by an army. And 250,000 were saved by 22 people.


Where are the Safety Zones in our lives, and how are Safety Zones made? In the case of Nanjing, in Rwanda during the 1994 genocide that claimed the lives of 800,000 Tutsis in 100 days, and in the WWII Holocaust that took 6 million Jews’ lives, those spared were not protected b
y weapons and gunfire. People were not saved by military strength. Those that defended them were not government officials, diplomats, or troops trained for war.

In all these cases, they were saved by people who cared.

That is what the gospel, the “good news” is all about. God cares so much about us that He did not leave us alone in the world to fight off death and violation, but sent His son Jesus Christ to live among us and be our safety. The world is a dangerous place but if we lean on the relationship that God has made for us in His Son and through the Holy Spirit, we become walking safety zones – not because we are strong but because we can stand behind our relationship with God.


The psalmist says it this way in Psalm 91:

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare

and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
[Ps 91:1-4]


By consequence, when we live in God’s safety zone and in his shadow, every person whom we take in, we also gather into safety. We are Safety Zones every time we care. We don’t have to worry if we have enough room because the Almighty is Mighty Big. He casts a wide shadow.


God may not call us to save 250,000 people like the 22 in Nanjing, or 1200 Jewish people like Oskar Schindler during the Holocaust, or 1200 Tutsis in Rwanda like Paul Rusesabagina in the Hotel des Mille Collines. The good we do may never be immortalized in films like “Schindler’s List,” “Hotel Rwanda,” or now “Nanking.” But the good we do will forever play in the hearts and minds of those whom we care for.

Hardly a day goes by when I don’t see my father’s life in my own. My four sisters will likely say the same. I will think something good, say something, see something, decide something for the good, and realize that they are imprints from my father who as a medical doctor and a follower of Christ saved lives every day. In the Korean War, he saved lives of men whose names and numbers his daughters will never know this side of heaven—American, South Korean and North Korean soldiers alike. His only memorials are his vault at the National Memorial Cemetary of the Pacific reserved for the U.S. veterans, and the testaments in the hearts of those to whom he gave life.

Not a day goes by when I don’t see my Heavenly Father’s life in my own. I will think something good, hear something, act on something for the good, see the good in others that I would never otherwise see, and realize that they are imprints from my Heavenly Father who calls me to touch people’s lives wherever He puts us—starting with the relationships he’s given me: my family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, grocery store clerks, fellow Earth walkers.

Truth be known, the Nanking Safety Zone didn’t materialize when the Japanese started their advance on Nanjing. It began a long time before when God started planting people in those 22 men and women’s hearts:

People, not numbers.
People, not heroic efforts.
People not memorials or books or award-winning films.
People.

* * * *
Pamela A. Chun, November 12, 2007 / Veteran’s Day ©2007
Notes Nanking” the movie will be opening in theatres for a limited commercial run in the U.S. December 12, 2007. It is an award-winning Sundance Film Festival entry, and was featured at the Hong Kong International Film Festival, Cannes, the Tribeca Film Festival and the Hawaii International Film Festival. I would highly recommend the film for all adults and mature teens accompanied by adults. See http://nankingthefilm.com/home.htm

Among many other references:
The Rape of Nanking, Iris Chang
http://www.geocities.com/nankingatrocities/Table/table.htmhttp://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G1-17425624.html

The Japanese government does not agree with the facts established at the World War II International Military Tribunal for the Far East.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Leaving a Mark

Another gentle and wiser than I follower of Jesus passed through the gates of heaven today. My dear friend Robin told me about Paul's departure. She included in her email the entry from Paul's wife blog:

Our prayers have been answered, Paul went to be with hi
s Father this evening at 7:45 p.m. We will be making arrangements tomorrow and update you with a later blog. 'The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, blessed be the name of our Lord."

I sent to Robin the following reflection:

Reading the last few entries on Bonnie’s [Paul's wife] blog reminds me of how close we are to life sometimes when we are near to death. Does that make sense? The gallant fight, the courage to not give up and the faith to trust in God in our severe failings, the pain of letting go of each others’ hands – whether we are the one on the journey toward eternity, or the ones left behind for now.

How will it be when the Lord takes me? I can think of no better way than the way Paul departed – surrounded by loved ones who passed him forward to the One Who L
oves Us Most.

Paul left a deep mark for the good.


I was thinking through with God yesterday about a personal one-sentence mission statement for myself. So far I’ve come up with this: To be a difference in other people’s lives by following Jesus Christ.

I think I should hold on to that one for a while. If that is what I can leave with others when I take my ticket home, it would be pretty good thing.

* * * * *
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." - From the Old Testament book of the prophet Micah 6:8

University students in Compassion International's Thailand Leadership Development Program; Dan at Compassion supported children's hostel in Thailand; Pam in rural Yunnan, China.



Easy ways to give children in need the hope of Jesus Christ can be found at Compassion International





Sunday, July 01, 2007

No Happy Endings

I’ve stopped looking for happy endings. Look for a spectacular, all-the-pieces fit resolution to a trying situation, and you settle for less. Pin your heart-felt dreams on receiving just the answer you want — and you sell yourself short.

Happy endings are for the near-sighted, for those with perfect vision but who don’t look over the horizon, or who maybe forget that this spinning globe we trek across day by day gathers up time and events and change and other people — even as we try to keep our balance in the gyrating top that is our lives.

Happy endings are for the weak-kneed who grab the first bus that comes along and take a comfortable seat, failing to calculate that sooner or later the bus is going to run out of gas with still a lot of road ahead.

I take argument with anyone who is content with a happy ending…when God has so much more to add to our isolated moments of joy, wanting to add more and more to our stories.

Cinderella’s glass slipper unites her with Prince Charming and they live happily ever after? That’s got to be a fairy tale. It falls short of the best of life and is nothing compared with life in Jesus Christ where every good ending has a post script followed by another and another, each compounding more blessing on what we assumed was the limit.

Jesus wants to give us more — more than we can measure, imagine, dream, expect, hope for, wish for, understand. That is his nature, that is his life. If we settle for The Happy Ending, we pass on The What Next that makes happy endings small and meaningless in comparison.

If we say our answered prayers are enough (“thank you, Lord”), we don’t allow God to work on the unanswered prayers that we don’t acknowledge.

If we put a box around our lives for what we think we can happily receive, where is God going to put all the other things he has waiting for us? And how are we ever going to fit God into our lives?

I am convinced of the immensity of God who connects all the dots in the universe and makes them work. I stagger under the engineering know-how of God who finds every frayed ending, every loose wire, every microscopic cell and joins them into a grand scheme. I am bowled over by a Father Guardian Teacher who at the end of each experience of His grace and greatness lets us breathe just long enough before saying, “And now I want to show you something more!”

My life is one of faith — ordinary, simple faith that directs me to trust in God for the next step. Nothing fancy, just: “Here’s something small you can do, and if you have a hard time with it, lack the confidence or strength, look, I’m right here with you, let me help you.”

Faith is not for the extraordinary, not for super humans but for ordinary, human people. That’s us. And grace is what God gives to help us who have but a grain of faith discover that it’s not what we do but who He is.

In the Bible, we read of how God called Abraham out from his home, his country, his people to a place of promise. Abraham did this by faith – by faith in a personal God who personally called him. This God who spoke intimately to Abraham became known as “the God of Abraham,” the God who was mighty to uphold Abraham, deliver him, guide him, and even give him children when he and his wife Sarah were advanced in age.

When the next generation arose, God became “the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac. “ (Gen 32:9). And then the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob. (Exodus 4:6). The pattern of faith continued through the Bible, transferred to generation after generation, over each succeeding horizon without resigning to a happy ending because God was not finished with his story.

The Letter to the Hebrews recounts in the 11th chapter a litany of faithful people who continued the journey: Joseph, Moses, Rahab, Gideon, David, and the prophets among others. It says in verse 3: “All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance.”

As people of faith and the seed of successive generations, we should likewise stand waiting for God to reveal more of Himself and His promises. We should be standing at the